Money orThought? (Full Version)

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royalgoodness -> Money orThought? (12/20/2008 9:21:21 AM)

My First Mistress was a Pro (and No I wasn't her client before.  LOL)  I swept her off her feet and wowed her with wit charm and thoughtful expensive gifts.  With her the price of the gift was as important as the thought.  <Boy dfid I get ignore time for taking the easy way out and buying an expensive gift with no thought behind it.  LOL>.  But back then I was making $500-$700/week.

the main reason that I am not looking right now to pack my bags and go live with who ever might find me agreeable is money.

I mean right now I could pull half of everything  but there is soooo little left over afterwords
.
So my questions to You Ladies is...is  it important to you that your sub/slave be able to buy you expensive gifts/things you need/want or is it the thought behind it that counts when he/she gets you a gift.






RichieB -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 9:29:35 AM)

Important? No.. The thought is more important to me.


Diane




LaTigresse -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 9:32:07 AM)

The monetary value means zilch to me. I want to see thought behind it, that they were in tune with ME when they chose it.

One of my most favourite gifts ever, is a rock that they made a special hiking trip to collect and bring to me.




Lockit -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 9:42:19 AM)

I have gotten some very wonderful and expensive gifts in my time... but the greatest gift of all besides a person's heart etc. was a dear man (no details hehe) who actually saw what I needed.  One day he is very excited and he says he has something for me that he knows I will love.  Having seen that look before... I groaned inside thinking it would be like before... sparklies.  He left the room and came back carrying a huge stack of note book paper and a huge handful of pens!  I laughed so hard and could not have been more pleased! 

He had found me on my last pen writing on paper grocery bags, while I supported my sister's family on my income as a bartender.  He knew what meant something to me and he supplied it.  It was the greatest gift of them all!

I don't need material things for the most part.  What I need is a guy who can see me... what is important to me and do those things.  They typically come from the heart and life in general.  Give me a heart over a diamond (even with my rock fetish) and I am a happy woman.




FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 9:48:36 AM)

In my case, I want whatever he values most...  In some cases, it's his ability to keep me informed, or way he trusts me to experiment on him, in other cases, it's of material value.   My kink is control/authority over another, and I try to find whatever he is resistant to relinquishing...    M




royalgoodness -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 9:52:10 AM)

That must have been wild.  Right now I am doing my best to help out my little cia she is my bestest best friend and it seems to her that when I drag it out of her why she is so sad and I can do for her what she needs she is overjoyed.  and they wern't expensive at all.

One was paying for her PO Box and another was get some more minutes on her phone so she could talk to your grandma who is have a tough year this year.  She is almost 94 you see.

So think before you give:)

Thank you very much for the answer. 
So I guess I should ask here.  Should I say that I am available for a RL LTR now or still wait till I get more of my ducks in a row?




royalgoodness -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 9:53:46 AM)

Ok I understand your point.  very well.

Thank you for your comment:)




Lockit -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 10:03:16 AM)

I do believe there are poor (for lack of a better word at the moment) submissive's finding dominant's and poor dominants finding submissive's.  Many want a person to have things as it might suggest they have something going for them.  But for every situation and person... there is most likely a match.  Find the worth in who you are and if you are lucky you might find the one who finds that worthy.




royalgoodness -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 10:08:04 AM)

I have lots of things that are worthy about me.  Money at the moment just isn't one of them.  I am going to using my skills in the home improvement field to advise someone on a leaky basement they have so this is going to help them.

It will be good to go to a house I haven't seen before where I don't know the normal problems with it.  It will be a challenge and oh yea I am actually going to have to dress nice too doing it.:)

My regular job has us doing repairs and clean out on the same 200 houses all the time it is getting to bit boring.

My skills are more with my hands than anything else.




AlexandraLynch -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 10:44:44 AM)

I prefer having someone who will make my life better. If this is by actually going into the basement and fixing the leaking pipe, that's good. If it is paying for someone to come and fix the leaking pipe, that's good too.

Sparklies are all very well, but some of us are rather less inclined that way than others.




LadyPact -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 10:48:07 AM)

To answer your original question, it's always the thought.  I couldn't care less about expensive things.  I'm much more the type that doesn't want a price tag to be the most important thing.  I'm happier with the thought behind whatever My boy has given Me.

I know.  Not exactly something you'd expect a Domme to say.  




SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 11:09:09 AM)

~FR~
 
Gifts, in general, mean very little to me.  I do enjoy getting gifts on special occasions such as birthday or anniversary, but the gift could be a simple as a new book or DVD.  The price tag is irrelevant.  My "love language" is acts of service followed closely by quality time together.  Want to impress me and make me *squeee* with delight?  Surprise me with a nice supper and a freshly vacuumed,dusted, and organized living room so we can snuggle and watch a movie together.  I'm far more likely to be inspired to play by those things than by a little blue box from Tiffany's.   




royalgoodness -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 11:17:52 AM)

So as long as he get's it fixed you care not how he does it.  LOL  I like that





royalgoodness -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 11:19:38 AM)

Thank you very much for your comment:)




royalgoodness -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 11:21:46 AM)

You have read the book The 5 Languages of Love:)  a great book to bad I wasn't allowed to finish it.  will have to buy it now.




RumpusParable -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 2:18:56 PM)

This is another one where the only honest answer I can give is "it depends".

For me it depends on the relationship type itself and all the little details that defines one, the sub, the reason for the gift, what the gift is, how well and in what *way* it suits me, how expensive or inexpensive is it, how does it's expense fit with the thought involved, what does "expensive" mean in regards to this sub and all the other things mentioned so far, the sub's income, the reason for the amount of expense involved, and more.

Depending on all the variables that go into a relationship and into that particular gift, the expense of a gift *is* part of "the thought". 

Generically speaking, sometimes the expense matters more, sometimes just getting something/anything matters more, most times it's a combination of the two and how fitting that specific mix is.

One of the sweetest gifts and memories I received from my spouse cost him nothing.
Another cost him very much, and the fact that he spent what he did is part of what made it as special as is.

In both cases, the mix of thought and cost were just right.

Answering this:
quote:

is  it important to you that your sub/slave be able to buy you expensive gifts/things you need/want or is it the thought behind it that counts when he/she gets you a gift.


Depends on what type of sub/slave they wish to be to me and what type I desire them to be.  Some of my BDSM relationships (speaking on the personal side, not business) are those where gifting are important for one reason or another.  In others it's not at all a focus.

Assuming I wanted someone for a relationship where gifts or such wouldn't bea focus then their ability to afford expensive things (or things at all, except themselves) wouldn't be a factor in choosing to be with them... it just wouldn't be a factor of compatibility to consider.


Oh!  Also, another thought that plays into all this that is important:  expensive for one person or one gift is inexpensive to another of either.  A $5 gift can be a huge expression of caring and devotion for a sub who is just making ends meet at the time... it's expensive and out of their way *for them*, regardless of how small that amount may be in another person's life.  There's more involved in cost and expense of a gift than the plain number on the tag.




CatdeMedici -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 2:33:56 PM)

The  greatest gift for Me is to be a good submissive-be open, honest, communicative, funny and realize I call the shots--talk of expensive gifts IMO is cheap--I make more than most men and can walk out and buy what I want--what I want has no price---it is priceless.




royalgoodness -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 2:34:31 PM)

a very concise and excellent answer.

When I was with my Last it was about everything. servitude/play/gifts.    I was renond for doing dumb things like buying a gift for no reason and putting it a box and having the courier company I worked for deliver it to Her D  and she always had her stockings for work we bought them by the case.  the three styles and colors she liked.  So I had fun doing it and would like to do it again when I get back up there but I must admit something that ended up costing only $40  left an impression that she remembered 10 years later.

My friend that I try to help a lot as mentioned above doesn't know that her PO box cost me 50% of my pay that week and I never even thought about the percent till a couple of days later.  But I work gor The thank yous and oh yea the hugs and the hair ruffling I will get when I get back over there.  But mostly I just like to help her because well I am sorry to say this but she is now learning to accept help from others.  A couple of us are helping her right now.  One gives rides to Her and another helps out with the phone. 






Madame4a -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 2:39:10 PM)

There are so many things in life that are important that don't cost a thing.. at least for me.. but it does take some creative thinking...

good luck




ShiftedJewel -> RE: Money orThought? (12/20/2008 4:53:56 PM)

~~ has a leaky basement....

lol
 
Jewel




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