RE: Mental illness

RE: Mental illness (Full Version)

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winterlight -> RE: Mental illness (1/4/2009 3:54:39 PM)
i had a friend with mental illness. She was manipulative etc. I wised up. I would run from him but that is me. Are there good people out there functioning yes. Some you just have to walk away from. Another friend of ours (guy see below comment) felt the same way about her mental illness or not. Guess what she studied Psychiatry and Psychology. When i got tricked a few times and saw how she treated a mutual friend (me and the other guy saw it), we both said ENOUGH!

M4STER -> RE: Mental illness (1/4/2009 4:48:43 PM)
After reading your posts I have a bad feeling about this guy. I suggest you wish him all the best and get busy meeting other people. He might just be manipulating the court system, manipulating you and taking advantage of your kindness. He has really broken a barrier by going to jail, to me that would be a total dealbreaker. So if you are willing to risk your finances, safety, mental health, then go for it. If you have a slight doubt, let him pay for whatever he did wrong and make a decision that this is his journey and not yours. Be careful!!

SoulPiercer -> RE: Mental illness (1/4/2009 5:13:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: moonvine Ok, so I have had a friend for 6.5 years. We were friends for a good bit of time until one day we decided we weren't just friends anymore, but something more than friends. Shortly before Thanksgiving he got back with his old girlfriend. I didn't hear from him and finally tracked him down in jail. Apparently he was stopped due to out of date license plates, a routine check was run on him and 2 old warrants were discovered, 1 a felony criminal mischief complaint for leaving a rental house in bad condition, the other for a bad check written to a funeral parlor. So I went to see him today, and he tells me he is being committed to the state mental hospital because they do not feel he is competent to stand trial. He doesn't understand why he is being sent there and not having talked to his doctor neither am I. I see him 20 minutes twice a week and he is lucid but I am not there other times. At any rate once he gets out I have told him he can stay here if he follows rules (get a job, keep house semi clean - don't throw food trash in floor). He will have nowhere else to go. I guess I'm not sure how to get to somewhere from where he was in charge to where I am, of necessity, in charge. You sound like a sweetheart. If it were me, I would let him go live with the "old girlfriend" if/when he gets out of the hospital/jail. A felony warrant for criminal mischief for leaving a rental house in bad condition?? That's code for he vandalized someone's house, most likely after they kicked him out for not paying rent. Bouncing a check to a funeral palor? Please tell me it wasn't his mother's funeral! If you insist on helping this guy, please, please do some fact checking first. This sounds like it's less about mental illness and more about a career con artist.

newleafintx -> RE: Mental illness (1/5/2009 12:27:55 AM)
My advice on this one is RUN. But of course you will not do that or abandon your friend. However, it is the BEST course of action. I do not know this person, but he sounds like a user to me. First off he left you to go back to his old girlfriend? So where is she, and who is to say that after you have invested a lot of time , money and emotion into this guy, he won't up and do the same thing again. As far as him not having a place to go. If you do not take him in will he find some place to go, the answer, I will tell you, is yes. Many times there are people who know how to use the system as well as other people. A stint in the state mental hospital is preferable to a stint in jail. I get the idea you are in Texas, if that is so your friend will be probably be committed to Rusk. It is an unpleasant place, but beats a Texas jail. He could go to Vernon, a much better place. I am not sure of current law, a person can spend YEARS in one of those places before finally getting declared competent to stand trial at which time they still have to answer for the charges. The fact that you can not get answers is a RED FLAG. This situation is probably much more serious than you realize. Ask a lot of questions , as people have said, check public records, and be prepared to invest a lot of time , money , and emotional stress. Good Luck

PanthersMom -> RE: Mental illness (1/5/2009 1:25:55 AM)
you may want to seriously consider contacting the local adult services agency in your area. they might be able to help you muddle through this mess and make the best decisions for both you and your friend. as you have stated, you hate living with people, and this situation is going to be challenging as it is, it could seriously impact you and your own well being. maybe your friend could stay with you for a few days while arrangements are made for placement in a program and you could help him by taking care of the everyday things outside the treatment realm, making sure his bills get paid by setting up automatic bill payment at his bank, watering his plants, taking his cat in and caring for it while he's away if he happens to have one. you could provide some measure of comfort, letting him know things out here are ok while he's in there. speaking from experience, i was in a nursing home for 6 weeks after surgeries this summer. knowing everything at home was being taken care of was a huge load off my mind. i could concentrate on getting better, not worrying about the pets, kids and house. PM

IronBear -> RE: Mental illness (1/5/2009 2:51:19 AM)
Of course there is another solution than either having him live with you or running. A friend mikght well be supportive and help him find a halfway house, a hostel for those with mental illnesses wikth some basic care there, or evben inexpensive accomodation close enough for you to give the level of help or care you are happy with and far enough away for him not to be a fixture on your doorstep. I have no idea of what suitable options you have there but I'll wager there are help organizations who can get you a list of what is available (if any) in your area. Good luck lass and my blessings on you for caring and wanting to be a friend in the sence I use the word.

CountrySong -> RE: Mental illness (1/6/2009 12:17:56 AM)
moonvine - Have you ever watched the movie Patch Adams? Did you see what happened to Patch's girlfriend? I was with a rapid cycling bipolar person for over 2.5 years. She hit me on several occasions and a couple of times I narrowly missed being stabbed. I also work with mentally ill people and they go violent without warning sometimes. Can you handle it if this person does go violent? Can you protect yourself and do you have a bedroom door lock. Also watch for the manipulation (my EX was an expert at it) - chances are that if this is a mental illness there is some group that would provide housing. Look them up and send him a list. he should also have a casework that can help.

DesFIP -> RE: Mental illness (1/6/2009 3:48:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: moonvine His attorney won't return my calls. This one fact says to me that he instructed his attorney not to give you any info. He signed papers for you and then told people to ignore them. That means he is lying to you. As far as not finding prescription medication for mood disorders? Means he refused to take them, not that he doesn't need them.

moonvine -> RE: Mental illness (1/6/2009 9:55:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: moonvine His attorney won't return my calls. This one fact says to me that he instructed his attorney not to give you any info. He signed papers for you and then told people to ignore them. That means he is lying to you. As far as not finding prescription medication for mood disorders? Means he refused to take them, not that he doesn't need them. Sorry, haven't been around, been too busy. His attorney finally called me and spoke to me for a whopping 7 minutes. He called me from his doctor's office so he didn't have his file with him but it supposed to call me back..someday...with the info. This seems to be more a case of a busy public defender rather than him lying. I admire public defenders but wouldn't want to be saddled with one, were this me, they just have too much on their plate to do the kind of job a "for pay" criminal defender can do.

moonvine -> RE: Mental illness (1/6/2009 9:58:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: newleafintx My advice on this one is RUN. But of course you will not do that or abandon your friend. However, it is the BEST course of action. I do not know this person, but he sounds like a user to me. First off he left you to go back to his old girlfriend? So where is she, and who is to say that after you have invested a lot of time , money and emotion into this guy, he won't up and do the same thing again. As far as him not having a place to go. If you do not take him in will he find some place to go, the answer, I will tell you, is yes. Many times there are people who know how to use the system as well as other people. A stint in the state mental hospital is preferable to a stint in jail. I get the idea you are in Texas, if that is so your friend will be probably be committed to Rusk. It is an unpleasant place, but beats a Texas jail. He could go to Vernon, a much better place. I am not sure of current law, a person can spend YEARS in one of those places before finally getting declared competent to stand trial at which time they still have to answer for the charges. The fact that you can not get answers is a RED FLAG. This situation is probably much more serious than you realize. Ask a lot of questions , as people have said, check public records, and be prepared to invest a lot of time , money , and emotional stress. Good Luck Supposedly he is going to Austin State Hospital. He may go back to his old girlfriend. I am fully prepared for him to do that actually. I gave him some money (not much, $40) and he spend most of it trying to call her. However I'm of the opinion that if you give someone money you don't get to dictate what they are going to do with it. Not everyone agrees, just my opinion.

M4STER -> RE: Mental illness (1/7/2009 7:08:26 AM)
moonvine, it appears to me that you are in a complete denial. I think that few if any of the things people have written in this thread are getting to you. The last update you gave about him spending your money on calls to his girlfriend just confirms that he is using you. But no one here is going to control your actions, I see many wake-up calls for you in this thread and somehow it seems to me that you are snoozing all of them, justifying his behaviour and avoiding the harsh truth of your situation. I wish you good luck and remember to actually be careful.

moonvine -> RE: Mental illness (1/7/2009 8:45:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: M4STER moonvine, it appears to me that you are in a complete denial. I think that few if any of the things people have written in this thread are getting to you. The last update you gave about him spending your money on calls to his girlfriend just confirms that he is using you. But no one here is going to control your actions, I see many wake-up calls for you in this thread and somehow it seems to me that you are snoozing all of them, justifying his behaviour and avoiding the harsh truth of your situation. I wish you good luck and remember to actually be careful. Well, for one thing, since we are not dating I see no reason for him not to call his girlfriend. For another thing, once you give someone money, it is their money - NOT your money - when I give money to anyone it is with the full knowledge they may or may not do what I would or think they should do with it. If I don't feel like I can give them money under those circumstances (i.e. they might go buy drugs) I don't give it.. For another thing, she will not take his calls. I think if anyone needs to realize the harsh truth of their situation it is him, since I'm not in jail, trying to call people who won't accept my calls. I will be talking to his doctor whenever he actually gets to the state hospital and getting the truth of his diagnosis, whatever it might be.

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