quote:

ORIGINAL: MrADude2004

I have a feeling this might get a lively discussion going, and this is a matter that I have to be able to resolve before I can start to really get involved in this lifestyle.

My eventual goal in being a master is to be able to commit to my sub/slave for life. I beleive that just as a sub must put her trust in her master, she must also be able to trust him/her for security, to take care of them if anything should happen, and most importantly to be able to put their independece and possibly career aspirations aside because they know they won't be left to fend for themselves.

Now that said, my need to have a lifelong bdsm partner is equal to my need to be with the one I love without question. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I didn't feel that way about the sub or slave who had committed herself to me. So my question is, how do you balance these two? Do you try to find love first, and if you both share a desire for this lifestyle then you would have a tremendously strong foundation of trust to start from? Or do you commit yourself to being a master first, and trust that you will come to love the one who has entrusted herself to you?

Until I figure this out, I am afraid to get involved in the lifestyle for real, because I might make the wrong decision. I'm sure this is a dilemma that many or most people have to figure out when they started getting involved in this. I'd appreciate any insight or experiences you can relate.

Andy