RE: Deeply Troubled

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RE: Deeply Troubled - 1/6/2009 5:55:45 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
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Aszhrae, remember how you said you'd sink because you were reliant and I said no, you'd sink because you wouldn't take that first step? Still think you're gonna sink? As long as you follow through on that first step and keep going, I don't believe you will sink.

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Sarah2
Deviant Mind
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LPTnB

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RE: Deeply Troubled - 1/6/2009 6:50:14 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

Good Girl, Aszhrae
You starting to believe in yourself. Give yourself a lot of hugs and pats on your back.

blessed be
oceanwynds

I can only echo this sentiment. Good job Aszhrae, keep moving forward and don't let any set backs get you down.

I am very happy to read your latest posts.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Deeply Troubled - 1/16/2009 9:58:59 AM

cubletMS

Posts: 28
Joined: 1/3/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

I really do not like feeling like this and its not a constant condition.
How do you deal as a sub/slave with the emptiness inside you as a result of being ignored by your dominant, before it becomes depression?
Also, would like to ask how you might deal with the anxiety that some times arises when you find our self concerned about the well-being of your dominant?

I've never been ignored long-term. But I've been ignored short-term (a day or so) for doing something that my dom didn't like, such as bringing up something he didn't want to deal with. In the past, my reaction was to concede and sweep my own feelings or issues under the carpet--ie--just 'drop it'-- so as to keep the peace. I don't think that's a healthy response, nor do I think this kind of thing is a sign of a functional relationship. I don't think I could ever accept that type of situation again. But I'm only speaking from my own experiences of course. I don't know your situation.

my reaction to being in this situation in the past was exactly the same as marie's. Keep the peace, don't bring it up, don't push it cos it's not supportive. i was also, at the same time, worrying about the wellbeing of my partner. It was not a good or healthy situation and in the end, after having a lot of my confidence destroyed, i left. And i am eternally glad i did.
However, you're situation might be different. Can you think of any reasons why He might be behaving this way? Nowadays- with my Master- whenever something even resembling this happens (which it very rarely does) i think very very carefully before bringing it up. i try and seeand understand all the reasons why He may not have time for me right now. i try to support Him in that. More often than not that very behaviour will cause Him to 'remember me' as it were. But if it continued for a while i would have no other choice but to bring it up. As respectfully as possible and with no assumptions as to the cause. i know it can be terrifying but the way He reacts will tell you a lot as to whether there is something unhealthy going on or not.
And you have my sympathies because it is indeed heartbreaking.
cubletMS
xxx

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RE: Deeply Troubled - 1/23/2009 6:29:37 PM

faithfulfemme

Posts: 113
Joined: 5/24/2007
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i just spent almost two hours reading this thread, and i'm absolutly astonished at some of the suggestions that were said to aszhrae regarding her transitioning. It simply astounded me. It tells me how far yet we have to go in getting folx information about transitioning so there can be some kind of understanding when it comes to gender identity.

And as for help, i'm positive what she most wanted was to make an emotional connection to folx, because her situation was/is so isolated.

Yes, i know she made that decision herself, to stay with this couple who truly abused her, but those who are severely abused become linked with their abusers in a way that we can't understand.

If you'll look, she started coming out of that horrible, depressed place about the time she got help from the lawyer.

i'm rootin' for you, aszhrae, in spite of the many hurdles and hoops you have to jump over and through, and i hope with all my heart that it all comes together for you in the end.

Let your Goddess guide you and give you strength to do what is necessary.

i, too, remember when you used to post in the third person........there most certainly has been progress for you. And i wish for more to come your way.

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Trust is neither wishing nor hoping; it is a deep sense of honor in another.

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RE: Deeply Troubled - 2/11/2009 9:07:24 AM

sensura

Posts: 71
Joined: 2/8/2009
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I can see being ignored for a day as a punishment, but if its long term definitly talk to him. If your relationship is sending you into depression you need to re evaluate it. We are in this lifestyle to be happy and content, not to be an emotional mess. So communicate and hopefully he will be forthright with you and this can be resolved.

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Post #: 225