Padriag
Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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You wait until I'm on vacation to post these good threads don't ya... I see how ya are.
Kidding 
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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
So over my weekend in Dark Odyssey, I was able to attend a class on the discussion of “Sacred Whoredom.” Within this class they delineated “sacred slut” from “sacred whore.”
First let me clearly state that I don’t enjoy these terms and am not bringing them up to try and make being a slut some sort of elitist “special” thing for anyone. Enjoying fucking and sex and being a slut is awesome. You are not a better slut because you consider it a sacred act any more than you are a better Catholic because you become a bishop.
I don't much care for the terms either, I think they're too loaded with connotations which diminishes their utility. But unfortunately I can't really suggest a better term at the moment so I guess for the time being we're stuck with it.
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Secondly, for me “slut” is all about the attitude. When I first started asking how I would bring this topic up I started by thinking that it would obviously only apply to non-monogamous sluts. But when I reminded myself of my own definition of slut, I realized that wasn’t true at all.
For me, slut has nothing at all to with the ACT of sex, how MANY people you have sex with, what TYPE of sex you have with it, what CRITERIA you use with your partners. Being a slut for me is a personal attitude towards sex and sexuality. It is an attitude that hungers for sexual interactions, is unashamed of those hungers and actively seeks to satiate those hungers.
A woman who only has one partner she only ever kisses her whole life can be just as much a slut as I am.
This also helped me in that I realize so many people (women especially) find it hard to be “a slut.” They can embrace being “someone’s slut” or being a loved slut, but find it difficult to be bald-facedly an open slut. So by keeping things to a personal attitude level, it doesn’t matter HOW the person acts as a slut…simply that they embrace their slut attitude.
Sounds like what I always called a nympho... somebody who loves sex and sexual expression. I think there is a bit of that in all of us wanting to get out. The problem is most don't know what to do about it. The biggest problems I see come when people go to extremes in trying to cope with it, either by severe repression (ie prudes and Jerry Falwell) or unrestrained hedonists who have very little restraint at all (ie what we usually think of as a slut). For me the healthy middle ground was just accepting that yeah, I have this really strong sex drive, but that like everything else in my life it has its place.
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Cultures in history have always held beliefs in a diety. Whether it was multiple deities with different aspects amongst them, or singular deities with everything encapsulated within them. Whatever system you use, the basis is that the Gods give life, energy, and everything therein. The breath you take, the love you feel, the pain you have…it is all sprung from the energy of the “divine spirit.”
By being a sacred slut, you embody and share that divine spirit in a sexual way. You use your energy through sexual channels and embrace the other person(s) with it. You allow yourself to be a conduit, to give and receive, of this energy. Sex as a sacred slut adds a dimension of it with a divine flow
I can already feel the “OK you’re just trying to make being a slut cooler and niftier.” But I sincerely don’t think so. Divine sex doesn’t have to be soft, with rituals, or silks. It can be hard, rough, anonymous. Again, it’s not the ACT which embodies things, simply the attitude and the awareness. You are using your body as a sexual vessel to carry divine energy to the world. You do it on a fairly egalitarian way, even if you are a submissive. Energy simply flows and returns. .
Actually what I'm thinking is this sounds very much like the explanation one of the "Dharma's" in my life gave me about tantric sex. An exchange of energy between two people. We talked some about a diagram I'd seen once of two lovers with lines of energy between them and encircling them, it was from a book on Buddhism I'd been studying years ago. So the idea has actually been around for a long time, it isn't new.
But... being an atheist I don't buy it. At least not their explanation of it. I'll get to that in a moment.
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For ME at least, I realize this is why I so often have felt empty after a hot slut session. For awhile now, I’ve been enjoying hot sex, enjoying giving that of myself, and yet afterwards feeling like I’d lost something, like I wasn’t as fulfilled as I should have been. I began thinking I needed to find partners who were more into ME and would be more than just a fuck.
But I still wanted just a fuck. I still wanted that energy I received from it, and had in the past received from other people.
I realized the problem was that I was giving myself in that way and it was not being returned. The other person was not opening themselves and being a conduit and allowing the circuit to be completed. The sex was good, the act was good. But the fulfillment of the sacred energy was blocked. For me I think this means that I can have anonymous sex again more fulfilled, knowing not to EXPECT that sort of energy, and it means I can have sacred sex more often knowing I can find partners who can also become aware of what’s going on and complete the circuit.
Sounds like you found some important and healthy answers for yourself in that. 
Okay, here's my take on this. This may sound like I'm just putting a different spin on the same thing... but its more a different perspective on the same principle stemming from different beliefes (ie religious/spirtual vs non-religious/non-spiritual).
For me, part of sex is passion. That's a part of me that I share in sex. Whoever she is, she gets to see and feel and touch that emotional part of me that the rest of the world will only glimpse through the things I write, be it fiction or poetry or music, through the things I create, whether it a photograph or a painting, or something I create with my hands. She gets to get up close and personal with that passion, and passion is energy, its emotional energy. If she's not careful she could drown in it... but as one lass said, what a wonderful way to drown. But sharing that passion is exactly why casual sex has never appealed to me. I want that passion back from someone, that exchange, or like you describe I feel a bit empty afterwards. Or more likely I'll just get bored. Its a funny revelation to be in bed with a beautiful woman most men would give their left nut to be with... and realize you're so utterly bored with her because emotionally she's closed off (or dead drunk or for whatever reason the lights are on but emotionally nobody is home) that you'd rather be just about anywhere else just then... damn strange. Its half the reason that I focus so much on looking for creativity in a potential slave. Because I know that where there is creativity, there is passion, the two go together. You can't write great poetry that moves people, or paint a picture, or play music that stirs the heart unless you have passion. I'm a creative person, but the well spring of that creativity is my passion, its been that way with every creative person I've ever known. I want great sex, I want lots of great sex, I want lots of great kinky sex in various parts of the house, in the woods, on the beach and possibly a few places I haven't thought of yet... but I want it only with someone who can give me back in equal measure that passion. Anything less will at best leave me feeling like I gave more than I got... at worst... utterly bored. Its the same in the relationship... it has to be that exchange, or else one of us is going to end up feeling empty and the end won't be pretty but it will be inevitable.
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Padriag
A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
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