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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 7:29:52 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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doesnt your church have a singles group?

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 7:35:09 PM

hermione83

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/1/2007
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quote:

You will be waiting a long time then, Hermoine.

Independant does mean giving up your submissive nature. I assume that you support yourself at the moment, that you take care of your own living space? These are very important - even if a Master decides to take you on as a full life dependant, it is important that you KNOW how to do these things. Relationships can and do end, either through people leaving or death. A good Master would want to know that you are able to take care of yourself should something happen to him.

Simply because you are submissive does not mean that you are not capable of finding what you want - after all, if you aren't willing to look for it, why should someone be willing to look for you? What if they are in the same boat? Submission is a gift to give, and for you to languish with it will do you no good and in fact, if your nature to serve is strong enough, may even do you more harm.

And yes, alt.com does have far too many dick pics. I've never understood that, very difficult for me to take a person seriously if all I know of them is their penis.

I learned how after my ex dumped me, and I HATE that I have done this, I've gotten very very unhealthy, physically and mentally and it's changed me permanently. I look/feel dead, and I've been on my own for a couple years. I feel 100% unloved and forgotten like some abandoned orphan or something. It isn't good for *me* at all. If a man doesn't want me when I need him, and I have to learn to fend for myself, then by some cruel nature then I get him, when I don't need him, then I have to learn how to be neeedy all over again, no no no. No. Life is too cruel. I'm not going to learn hard lesson after hard lesson. Either someone takes me when I need him, and he likes being needed, or I become independent and eff everyone for not loving me. I've been good and sweet and kind to everyone and tried as hard as I could. It is up to the man because I'm old fashioned, because I'm submission and men should be cave men and catch their women, and cuz I'm a princess and ladies are special and should not have to hunt a man down, darnit. It would break my heart to do that, and make me feel insecure forever. A good man would feel fulfilled by getting her.

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 7:37:01 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

Alt.com scared me - all the profile pics were of dicks....

LMAO.... You say this like it's a bad thing.

I met my Sir on Alt. I haven't been a member since I became His. He still has a profile there, but His picture is not of his penis.

girly

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 7:38:34 PM

hermione83

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Did you talk to many people on alt first besides him, girly? Do you think it is worth a try? It looks so icky to me. Umm, singles group at church? I've never heard of that. Is that a Catholic thing? My sunday school class is all ladies.

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 7:48:59 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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maybe things have changed a lot since I last attended church, but most churches with a decent sized congregation seemed to have singles events and groups. If yours doesn't perhaps talking to your pastor about starting one up might be the thing to do. Maybe a singles only bible study?

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 7:54:46 PM

MrDevlin

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Anyone who claims to be a Dominant male and a virgin at age 25 is a fucking liar. Can't happen.

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 7:55:14 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
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Someone else posted about looking for a Christian dom a few days ago and I suggested they put up a profile on Fetlife.com which is kind of like a kinky Myspace.

There is a Christian BDSM group on there that might provide you with some prospects.

http://fetlife.com/groups/922

I'm not sure if they have personals or not, but http://www.takeninhand.com is another site that might interest you.

Don't give up! In the meantime, work on you. Work on putting all of this negativity out of your head and heart. The past is the past.

When you exude a positive outlook about yourself and your life, that makes you shine to others.

Best of luck to you.

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 7:56:09 PM

girlygurl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

Did you talk to many people on alt first besides him, girly? Do you think it is worth a try? It looks so icky to me. Umm, singles group at church? I've never heard of that. Is that a Catholic thing? My sunday school class is all ladies.

Sure, I spoke with others from Alt, and some of them I've kept in contact with over the last two years.

hermione, I actually wasn't looking when I found Alt... or at least I didn't know I was looking nor did I know what I was looking for. If Alt is icky to you, don't go there. It's always been my opinion that if you're looking, you're not gonna find... Just let it happen sweets, be patient and you will find your one.

girly

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 7:58:05 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDevlin
Anyone who claims to be a Dominant male and a virgin at age 25 is a fucking liar. Can't happen.

Your posts impress me less and less as the days go by.

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 8:06:35 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5159
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
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When I was looking for others, my best luck and greatest number of contacts was from Collarme. Through Collarme I met real life people who invited me to munches and events. Even now I can look down the list for the state where I lived back then, and for the state where I summer, and see names of people I have met at a munch or event.

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 8:08:18 PM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

I learned how after my ex dumped me, and I HATE that I have done this, I've gotten very very unhealthy, physically and mentally and it's changed me permanently. I look/feel dead, and I've been on my own for a couple years. I feel 100% unloved and forgotten like some abandoned orphan or something. It isn't good for *me* at all. If a man doesn't want me when I need him, and I have to learn to fend for myself, then by some cruel nature then I get him, when I don't need him, then I have to learn how to be neeedy all over again, no no no. No. Life is too cruel. I'm not going to learn hard lesson after hard lesson. Either someone takes me when I need him, and he likes being needed, or I become independent and eff everyone for not loving me. I've been good and sweet and kind to everyone and tried as hard as I could. It is up to the man because I'm old fashioned, because I'm submission and men should be cave men and catch their women, and cuz I'm a princess and ladies are special and should not have to hunt a man down, darnit. It would break my heart to do that, and make me feel insecure forever. A good man would feel fulfilled by getting her.

A couple of things here that stand out. Obviously you have very rigid thoughts on the sort of person you are looking for and that means you have limited the search quite a lot. You are going to find it a lot harder than most because of that.

Being submissive is not at all about being needy. There are plenty of strong independent submissives out there that choose to give their submission to a Dominant. None of the Masters I talked to when I was searching were looking for a "needy" sub.

You really need to start making steps to go out and meet people. Try making friends, just regular ones, and who knows what will happen.

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 8:14:24 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDevlin

Anyone who claims to be a Dominant male and a virgin at age 25 is a fucking liar. Can't happen.

You are kidding, right? I mean, seriously. A dominant male who chose to wait until he was married, or had a collared sub/slave, to have sex can't exist?

Hmmmm.

So, how do the rest of you dominant men feel about being lumped into that group of men with the inability to control your sexual desires and appetites to achieve your own stated goals?

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 8:21:58 PM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDevlin

Anyone who claims to be a Dominant male and a virgin at age 25 is a fucking liar. Can't happen.

A Dom is in control of himself. If he chooses to be a virgin, he will be.

----------------
Hermione, one thing I'm bothered by is that you think that you will find Mr. Perfect and life will instantly be wonderful. You're setting yourself up to fall heavy for some guy who may well not be what you want/need.

I suggest you get out and spend time with others your age. Men and women, Christian and not, just get used to being around people.

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 8:27:06 PM

MsFlutter

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From: East Coast
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

...it'd be great to actually have my first orgasm before I'm 27 ...

Umm..one doesnt have to be married to have an orgasm. There doesnt even need to be a male in the room.

(or have they changed the protocol and y'all just havent told me?!?!?!?)

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 8:30:06 PM

hermione83

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yayyyy a few people who dont think im EFFING out of my mind for thinking they exist. I'm so serious that I have met them, but the few I have just weren't my soulmate. I am flexible on a lot of things.. and am looking for chemistry too.. I'm just looking for the rigid set of things because, ... well, that would make them feel like.. home, like family to me.. does that make sense? My church is huge. THey have boys and girls in the college stuff and younger, but not for the older people, unless it's for married people.. =\.

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 8:35:28 PM

VampiresLair

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

Did you talk to many people on alt first besides him, girly? Do you think it is worth a try? It looks so icky to me. Umm, singles group at church? I've never heard of that. Is that a Catholic thing? My sunday school class is all ladies.

Oh, yes, we have singles get togethers and even a singles retreat at our church and we arent catholic. Its a pretty common thing for Church of Christ, at least out here. The goal is that everyone at the church should be meeting, since you cant get married and have kids if you arent meeting and dating.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDevlin
Anyone who claims to be a Dominant male and a virgin at age 25 is a fucking liar. Can't happen.

As for a dominant being a virgin... I have more respect for the dom who admits to being a virgin because he is waiting for the right one to come along than I wuld someone who brags about what a dominant slut they are. Just ebcsaue you equate dominance with sex doesnt mean everyone else does. I had a submissive who was 25 and still a virgin by choice... and after being mine for 2 years he was still not sexually touched by me. So, why would it be that different to have a male who opted not to have sex be part of their dominance? Tsk tsk, for someone who tries to sound like they know it all you fall short.

Relax and stop looking so hard. The best things in life tend to fall in your lap when you stop trying to find them.

DV

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 8:55:48 PM

oceanwynds

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To the OP, when I started to do my search on what BDSM was and Ds/Ms, I noticed there were a few sites on Christianity and Ds. I never bothered to look at them, since that religion doesn't interest me, but you might want to do a google. Perhaps it might be of help in how to go about finding a Dom.

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 9:02:59 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
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hermione, welcome to the group of people who either because of their marital status, because of their stringent lifestyle requirements or even their location, are here for the long haul. Time lass, is your friend if you make it so. Time weeds out the dross and leaves a few pieces of wholesome grain which you may find good friends even if they are not of your faith. If you follow the suggestions of looking in the world populated by people and not cyber names on the screen you increase your chances. However don't discard cyber space or indeed cyber friends. From these I have met face to face some incredibly wonderful, strong and honest folk too..

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 9:36:09 PM

pompeii

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From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
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quote:

...it'd be great to actually have my first orgasm before I'm 27 ...

quote:

There doesnt even need to be a male in the room.

My first orgasms were on a pillow and I was so young that there was no fluid, so, not only doesn't there need to be a religious ceremony first, nor would a member of the opposite sex need to be in the room officiating, but, as far as protocol goes, you don't even need seminal fluids ... but you do need a pillow.

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RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? - 1/2/2009 9:47:29 PM

hermione83

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Errr, I've tried and apparently there does have to be a male person involved which makes my life very unhappy indeed. This is probably way TMI, but I think I probably am a) someone who will never ogasm (more likely) b) someone that just needs something/anything plunged into her vagina (but I'm not doing that until marriage, I have a hymen) or c) I need a male to be there, telling me to have one .. and that it's okay and such. .. Sigh.

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