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RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 6:04:17 PM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

LadyHibiscus wrote: There is more than one definition of "wanker"?

Sure.  It has a literal meaning but it's usually taken figuratively.

beeble.


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RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 6:06:40 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

There is more than one definition of "wanker"?


It was in the CM company memo last week... You musta missed it...


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E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 6:17:29 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Shoot, I always miss the memo! 

Gimp, you're always welcome here!! 

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[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 6:19:00 PM   
Loliita


Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

LOL Gimp....

Lolita..welcome to the forums.. you've gotten some great advice! 

Just be warned, there will probably come a time when you get an email that you respond to, politely saying no............ and you'll get a response along the lines of "FUCKING BITCH!!" "FAT COW!!!" etc etc etc  ....

delete, block and ignore :)

(it happens to almost every woman here)


Ok, I am getting too many emails so I'm not politely saying no to anyone. I'm just ignoring them. Seems rude but there's no way I can respond to all those messages and I don't really want to anyway.
I'm going to take the advice offered above and do my own searching and I'll watch the forums.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 6:22:08 PM   
GimpinDenial


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/20/2008
Status: offline 		<does the Gimp dance>
woot..... <--------------that's moi....




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I can only hope that in death, the sins of my life will be forgiven.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 6:23:34 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm going to venture to guess we're using the term the same way.  A wanker is someone jacking off at the fantasy they are getting from the computer screen.  Doesn't matter if it's from porn, the idea of being sexually controlled that gets them off, or anything else.  Close enough?

I have to agree with everything that was said above.  Being new to the site means you are going to get a ton of email because you're new, female, and on the site.  That's all it takes.  As you're here longer, it will slow down, but you'll always have a good bit.  It flipped My other half out to see how much mail I get here just on a daily basis.

As for are they real, well some of them are and some of them aren't.   If you're interested, there are quite a few threads about no shows and such.  It does happen.  Even those of us who have been around a while make mistakes in thinking someone is genuine.  There's no foolproof advice in this category.

Just do Me one favor.  I don't want to preach at you or anything, but remember there are some safety measures you should use dealing with folks on the internet.  Don't get so swept up in the attention that you forget about them.



 

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Loliita)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 6:25:36 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Yeah, at least until the influx dies down, probably best to ignore.  You'll find after the 'new meat' frenzy dies down, that you'll STILL get loads of mail from the wanker brigade, but you may also find that you'll get mails from forum users.  Those are (usually) cool to read.

I hope you enjoy your time here!



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Supreme Goddess of Snark
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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 6:32:59 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loliita

Are most of these men for real? What I mean is if I were to actually try and meet one of them would they even show up? Is it just an internet fantasy for them or are they really serious?


For every one of your questions I have one answer.
 
Yes and no.
 
There are some who are real and some who are not. 
There are some who will show up, some who won't, and some will do you the favor of disappearing as soon as you ask them to meet you. 
There are some who are jerking off to your picture and the words they typed to you, some who are waiting to jerk off until you respond, some who will wait to jerk off until you talk to them on the phone, and some who will wait to jerk off until after they meet you, some who hope you will tell them when they can jerk off , some who hope you won't ever let them jerk off, and yes, some who aren't even thinking about jerking off.
 
Welcome to the internet, BDSM doesn't change the basics of human behavior.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to Loliita)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 6:38:16 PM   
BitchGoddessD


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/15/2007
From: Wisconsin
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress
 
There are some who are real and some who are not. 
There are some who will show up, some who won't, and some will do you the favor of disappearing as soon as you ask them to meet you. 
There are some who are jerking off to your picture and the words they typed to you, some who are waiting to jerk off until you respond, some who will wait to jerk off until you talk to them on the phone, and some who will wait to jerk off until after they meet you, some who hope you will tell them when they can jerk off , some who hope you won't ever let them jerk off, and yes, some who aren't even thinking about jerking off.
 


kudos - that was so funny I'd like to share with friends if you don't mind



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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 7:00:35 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		 One easy way to cut down on your Cmail is to remove your profile pic. But that might not work right away, though. Even I got a ton of Cmail at first although I've never posted a pic. But at least I knew that the tons of mail I got had nothing to do with my appearance. You're so lovely that just seeing your pic will cause a lot of wankers to wank to it, as others have pointed out. And as I think lilsarbonne said, the youthful beauty of your pic combined with your profile name will tend to bring Vladimir Nobokov's classic novel to mind, promoting the wanking of all those would-be Humbert Humberts out there.  


And FYI: we all say "jerking off" or "jacking off" too. Those are old expressions. But I've never heard of just "Jack" being used as a derogatory term. "Jerk", or "jack-off" yes, of course but not just plain "Jack". The term "wanker" seems to be (at least I gather from its use here on CM) more specifically geared to describe someone who masturbates while using a computer.

One more thing you can do to cut down your Cmail: hide your profile when you search. Then others won't see that you've perved their profile. You can even hide your profile just as a rule when you don't want any more bothersome emails (from people you've yet to converse with) right then... If you hide other people's profiles, those people can still see you. That will only prevent you from seeing them every time you search, which also is a very handy function I'm sure. 

Welcome to CM! Have FUN!

Edited to add: don't forget to use your "mail controls" feature. That button is at the top right corner of your screen, when looking at your in or outboxes. Click on it to set your preferences so that mail from people who are of a gender, age or place that you'd rather not hear from is sent automatically to your bulk folder. Then you can just periodically go there and delete all that mail in one fell swoop. You could still read it first if you wanted to, but you'd know that everyone in that folder is outside of your search parameters. 
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< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 1/15/2009 7:14:01 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 7:11:34 PM   
Loliita


Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline 		It's funny dreamerdreaming that you're suggesting I maybe take down my photos and hide my profile to cut down on my mail. When I registered here my only thought was how to go about getting attention. I even thought about buying a whip and some leather to make sexier pictures. I thought I'd get a few emails a day. I wasn't aware of the market for dominant women out there.
I might have to take some of your advice.

My funniest messages are from the guys telling me how to dominate them. Aaaa no, that's not how it works....lol

I think I'll ugly myself up and change my profile name to "Monster babe" lol


(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 7:15:14 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Very funny, Tress.

Why do I feel a wank/jerk definition thread to be appearing in the random section very soon?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Loliita)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 7:25:21 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Yeah, I hate to hafta make suggestions like that, but who has the time for all those wankers' messages?! They can only waste as much of your time as you let them.

Taking down your pic would promote the chances of someone actually being interested in you as a person, rather than just your good looks. Then you could selectively email your pic individually to those whom you deem worthy of your time. It would give you more control over the process.

You could always put your pic back up whenever the newbie frenzy dies down a bit.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to Loliita)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 7:30:43 PM   
rob425


Posts: 154
Joined: 12/1/2005
Status: offline 		Welcome to the forums and the wonderful world of CollarMe. I consider myself real. I have met a few people through the site and met them in person so I know they are real.

Some of the things I look for to determine "realness" is decent filled profile of information, some journal responses, and forum post. It might be stalkerish to look for all that stuff. When going through messages although I get a tiny fraction of what you will get, being as you are a young pretty girl with plenty of pictures in your profile, anyways I look for the location to see if its any where close to me as I only travel so far to meet people.

Good luck finding a "real" person

EDIT: As dreamerdreaming said taking down your pictures would certainly cut down on the amount of fakes you get cause a person might be more inclined to read your full profile then before sending a message 

< Message edited by rob425 -- 1/15/2009 7:32:54 PM >

(in reply to BitchGoddessD)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 7:31:41 PM   
Loliita


Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

...Taking down your pic would promote the chances of someone actually being interested in you as a person, rather than just your good looks.....



I'm too proud of my looks to take down my pictures but I am taking your advice about hiding my profile when I am searching for men or maybe when I log off for more than a day so as to cut down on the mail, at least until I'm off the new list.

I like attention....but not necessarily the type of attention I seem to be getting in the messages

Thanks for your help.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 7:33:16 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		Its a little ironic that you say, "I will not date anyone over 30" and you chose the name Loliita.

The general feedback I hear from people in the BDSM "scene" is that Femdoms can have their pick. This is reputedly so because of demographics (few femdoms in proportion to many malesubs.)

On reading your OP and the thread, it makes me think back to when I was 20. Back then there was no internet and no CM --- there were just strange impulses and the netherworld of kink --- which existed mostly in adult magazines. It was absolutely impossible for me to see what was real or unreal in other people --- and myself too.

Sounds like you will do fine. From reading your profile you sound pretty grounded.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 1/15/2009 7:34:17 PM >

(in reply to Loliita)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 7:35:12 PM   
rob425


Posts: 154
Joined: 12/1/2005
Status: offline 		Well hiding your profile will help. To cut down, also if you just go to the website Collarchat.com it brings you right to the forums and it doesn't say you are online in collarme I believe.

Femdoms do have their pick on these sites as the ratio is very stacked in their favor

< Message edited by rob425 -- 1/15/2009 7:40:33 PM >

(in reply to Loliita)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 7:41:04 PM   
Loliita


Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Its a little ironic that you say, "I will not date anyone over 30" and you chose the name Loliita.



Lolita has been my real nickname for years. I received it in high school from friends because I was always flirting with the teachers. Actually, a teacher gave me the nickname inadvertently one day when I was trying to coerce the date of the next pop quiz. He said..."now aren't you being a little Lolita".... My friends heard it and the name stuck.

Btw, I did say I would not date anyone over 30 but I ALSO said...."I am open minded and I might consider playing with older men for fun"... I have not decided if that is just fantasy for me or not. I have had this recurring fantasy of playing a student and seducing a teacher.

*shrugs* We'll see. I'm very new to the kink world so I'm taking my time.

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 7:43:56 PM   
MissEnchanted


Posts: 510
Status: offline 		And mine to MissEnchanted

quote:

ORIGINAL: RichieB

This is the reason I changed my user name to RichieB....



Diane

(in reply to RichieB)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Are these guys for real? - 1/15/2009 7:45:20 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
My comment was just tongue in cheek. The HBO movie with Jeremy Irons was great.

She definitely bossed him around.....

(in reply to Loliita)
Profile   Post #: 40
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