Termyn8or -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/18/2009 3:40:36 PM)
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avarin, then you will need the crash course so to speak. I believe the proper motivation will do it for almost everyone, and I call it the hard way. One day you may wake up in jail, or go around asking if you had killed anyone yesterday. That's the hard way. For some it's the only way. Hopefully you don't wake up one day looking for a bail bondsman. You can't expect yourself to have good judgment in a rage anymore than you could if you had drank a fifth of whiskey. People do it but most people avoid driving, operating machinery, cleaning guns and so forth, others simply don't drink the fifth of whiskey. That decision comes from within, and is very difficult for some, but it really is the only way. In other words the rage is a form of self intoxication, an escape. Your unconcious mind sees it that way anyway, and you don't have to deal with the situation conciously. In other words, you may be actually hiding behind your anger. I know it sounds childish, it does, but if you want bullshit, talk to someone else. I am not trying to make it sound that way. What do you figure it'll take ? Consequences teach, so hopefully you get the minimum required to do the job. It may be in the form of a dead pet, holes in the walls or who knows, maybe even a smashed car. But one thing is for sure, you know damn well if left unchecked this sort of problem gets worse and worse. Later those consequences might include a dead spouse or family member, and many years behind bars. Then it is too late. To take the alcohol analogy for a minute, it took me years to learn how to drink. I drink all the time but I have only been drunk a couple of times in the last few years. I am not saying take the anger in moderation, it is a different issue, but along the same lines. The consequences of my actions approximately 12 years ago still screw with me. Last time I actually got drunk was when my next door neighbor showed up with a fifth of vodka, believe me I thought about it before taking a swig. I know that for me it starts tasting soooo good, yup straight out of the bottle. That's why I don't do it. I don't do heavy liquor in the first place generally. I refuse to turn frustration into anger, in the beginning, because that is the only time it can be done. Once you get angry, it is like being drunk, it is very hard to undo. Now don't think that this means I never raise my voice, or won't smack somebody upside the head for extreme stupidity, it's just that there is no appreciable anger involved. It doesn't mean that I won't spar or slapbox with someone, or have other stupid contests. Like my ex-boss, a shoving match, no anger. That dude should've been a football player, he almost broke my leg. If he had broken my leg, there would be no anger. I was a willing participant in a bit of stupidity, or at least frivolity. Horseplay pretty much. Anger has no place there. So take this and your grain of salt. Nipping it in the bud is best because it always gets worse. Look at the domestic violence situations, it starts out when a guy smacks his Wife, and no matter how bad he feels about it, it is bound to happen again, and escalate. It starts with a smack and evolves to her mangled body roilled up in a rug somewhere. Do you want to go to that place in life ? Understanding is the key, and the first realization to make is that the solution is not in a pill bottle. It may be in a jail cell, but there is no easy answer. This counting to ten and everything is a bunch of shit. Walking away and sweating bullets gets old. YOU have 100% control of your reactions to the world around you, that is the fact. T
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