Coping With Anger (Full Version)

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aravain -> Coping With Anger (1/15/2009 10:38:36 PM)

I'm interested in any methods that other people have with coping with their anger.

As a person with bi-polar (I believe the distinction between being a 'bi-polar person' or a 'person with bi-polar disorder' is important) disorder, I have certain triggers that set me off into a zone so red I don't think anything else has any other color. I don't usually get physically violent, but when I do I usually go through a 'blackout' where I do not remember the violence, or what caused the original anger (very frustrating). In general usual techniques of calming one-self (i.e. light meditation, light pain, leaving the situation, etc.) do not work with these cycle-induced (manic) angers. Likewise, all cognitive-behavioral techniques that I've tried (both under a doctor's orders as well as researched and on my own) typically make it worse (I'm interesting in that the disorder seems to affect emotion without cause of thought, so when I'm trying to 'reframe' or similar it's already too late to be appropriate, especially since the thought is CAUSED by the emotion, and not the other way around as is the case with most people).

Since my manic phases are the most dangerous for me, it's usually a good thing to get out of them as fast as possible, and the only way I know how to, for sure, is by depressing myself and hoping that I cycle again. Otherwise I stew and get angrier and angrier and more prone to violence. Of course, this is still not the most, uh, optimal choice since then I've purposefully broken any consistent baseline I'd been at.

So what methods work for you? What methods might you suggest?



DesFIP -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/16/2009 4:41:07 AM)

My oldest is bipolar type II. She has had only one fugue state, anger so great she did not know what she was doing nor remember any of it afterwards.

I have to ask if you are on medication because this many fugue states indicates you are not as stable as you ought to be.



aravain -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/16/2009 10:05:45 AM)

Yup, I am. I've gone the range from *very* medicated (three different strong medications at very heavy dosages) to not very much at all (one mild medication at the lowest therapeutic dose), and in general there's little difference in the seriousness of them, though the amount goes down considerably. I also seem to tolerate less medication better, and it does more for me.



cagliostro -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/16/2009 11:46:52 PM)

Learn your triggers.  Find the patterns among them, and learn to anticipate them.  And be sure that the only thing upsetting your emotions is the bipolarity.  Blacking out seems more like a dissociative function than mood disturbance. 



Zechriel -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/17/2009 5:54:40 PM)

Good evening!
I am not bi-polar but do have panic attacks. I can respond well in an emergency but afterwards, perhaps later in the day will have an attack. Same goes for extreme anger that I am confronted with. I have a great temper and can do serious damage when i see "black" as you see red. Now at 36, married, and with 3 kids I had to limit myself to those occasions that necesitate (sp?) a rage. Finding out your triggers is huge, some things I can "stop and breathe, count to 15" and the rage dies down. Other times giving someone who dissed me the evil eye and walking away knowing that I scared them pretty good works. Stewing over things just makes it worse for you and feeds your rage, if you can deal with it right away and let it go. I usually shake myself, my arms, my head, stomp my foot and vocalize. Of course, in private. ::smiles:: otherwise people think we're crazy.
  The few times I have raged have been when my kids or family has been attacked or threatened, and when there were witnesses-so much the better! Then I was able to tap into that rage and let some of it out without being arrested or prosecuted. The police knew that I was defending my family/kids and that I had been or was off my meds for panic attacks. Sounds sneaky I know but as you get older you begin to know yourself better as to what and what you will not tolerate by people. Anyways, that's my story and how I deal with anger/rage. Good luck!
Love,
Zechriel  [sm=runaway.gif]



bamagirl4u -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/17/2009 8:15:56 PM)

I am taking Paxil for depression and anxiety attacks...before that I would get really angry for no reason and cry uncontrollably.  When it turned into a full blown panic attack, I went to the emergency room because I thought I was having a heart attack.  I still get angry, but I can control it for the most part.  I try to distance myself from things that bother me--including people.  I wish you luck..



Termyn8or -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/18/2009 5:18:45 AM)

I had issues, big ones. I am talking about trying to burn the house down, shooting the place up with a shotgun. How I managed to stay out of prison is beyond me. But that was all before I learned one thing.

Anger is a choice.

It may not seem true, it may sound like the farthest fetched thing you have ever heard in your life, but it is true. You see I learned it the old fashioned way, via punishment etc. No meds. But I can prove the statement to be fact.

To prove the stament true the shortest way possible, consider this, you have a big shaggy brown dog. He wuvs you. He gets let in the house, you are sitting on the couch and he jumps on you, unfortunately one of his paws hits a sensitive spot of your body (guys will know what I am talking about, and can probably relate to baby shoes as well, those can really hurt ! ). Are you angry ?

No the big dummie didn't want to hurt you, he wants you to pet him. You are not angry, even if you are in pain. You're not angry at the big brown dummy dog, by choice. Maybe it's because he's just so damn cute, the reason doesn't matter. What matters is that you might be in a bit of pain, possibly annoyed, but the fact remains that YOU did not choose to be angry.

I know it is easier said than done, but once you realize that anger is a choice, you can then learn to simply choose not to be angry. This does not mean you never raise your voice, in fact you might still smack someone upside the head from time to time depending on what kind of people you hang with, but you are not angry.

People turn frustration into anger voluntatily.  People can turn just about any source of stress or grief into anger, it is up to each sane person not to do so.

T



aravain -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/18/2009 11:24:18 AM)

I think you greatly misunderstand the impact of mental illness on anger. A majority of the times, when I'm angry, I don't understand (or even know) WHY I'm angry, and a good many of them I don't *have* a reason. I simply become angry and don't have a reason.

I would agree that, most likely, anger can be approached as a choice in a rational person. My anger, however is not rational (and is sometimes aimed at things that I don't even find annoying, aggravating, or even interesting at most times).

And your whole argument is debunked by the fact that, YES, I would be angry. I don't care if he didn't mean to do it... I WOULD BE ANGRY, and I would punish the dog (slap on the nose and sequester it for five minutes in a place where it could see, but not reach, me). I can't stress how angry I would become, and that I know it because similar situations have *happened* (and those dogs don't do it to me any more even though they still do it to my father). I feel, consciously, bad for being angry, especially when it's such a stupid reason, but that does/can not abate the anger. I do not choose to become angry or to lash out, I simply do as a base reaction. Completely unexpected pain makes me lash out and extremely angry and hostile, and is one of my 'triggers' (probably as a result of the good ole' fight or flight psychologies) that was mentioned before.

There are only a few triggers that I know for sure, when it comes to anger:
Unexpected pain.
Questioning my competency on things I'm highly familiar with.
Catching someone in a pointless lie.
Being yelled/screamed at.

When faced with one of these (even when I know it's coming) my reaction is violent, and causes such a deep-seated anger that I become, well, not a very nice person to hang around because the anger is ever-shifting and focused on whatever has my attention.



EDIT: I should also add that this thread was originally intended to deal with Anger as a MOOD not as a reaction, and that I struggle with it as a mood due to my mood disorder (Bi Polar Disorder... can't remember the newest name for it, though)



windchymes -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/18/2009 3:27:35 PM)

Well, after reading your last post, my response is that you really should get professional help.  A friend went though a "day treatment" program at a mental hospital where they taught "coping skills" for situations exactly like you described.  It sounds as though it's not as simple as just asking others how they cope, because you have already admitted that at this point in time that you have absolutely no control over the rage that overcomes you in response to the "triggers".  That's a scary thing, no offense intended. 

The trained professionals will have methods to help you learn how to recognize and control your responses.  The other possibility is that different or additional medication might help.  But, once again, that's a decision left up to you and the professionals. 



Termyn8or -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/18/2009 3:40:36 PM)

avarin, then you will need the crash course so to speak. I believe the proper motivation will do it for almost everyone, and I call it the hard way.

One day you may wake up in jail, or go around asking if you had killed anyone yesterday. That's the hard way. For some it's the only way. Hopefully you don't wake up one day looking for a bail bondsman.

You can't expect yourself to have good judgment in a rage anymore than you could if you had drank a fifth of whiskey. People do it but most people avoid driving, operating machinery, cleaning guns and so forth, others simply don't drink the fifth of whiskey. That decision comes from within, and is very difficult for some, but it really is the only way.

In other words the rage is a form of self intoxication, an escape. Your unconcious mind sees it that way anyway, and you don't have to deal with the situation conciously. In other words, you may be actually hiding behind your anger. I know it sounds childish, it does, but if you want bullshit, talk to someone else. I am not trying to make it sound that way.

What do you figure it'll take ? Consequences teach, so hopefully you get the minimum required to do the job. It may be in the form of a dead pet, holes in the walls or who knows, maybe even a smashed car. But one thing is for sure, you know damn well if left unchecked this sort of problem gets worse and worse. Later those consequences might include a dead spouse or family member, and many years behind bars. Then it is too late.

To take the alcohol analogy for a minute, it took me years to learn how to drink. I drink all the time but I have only been drunk a couple of times in the last few years. I am not saying take the anger in moderation, it is a different issue, but along the same lines. The consequences of my actions approximately 12 years ago still screw with me. Last time I actually got drunk was when my next door neighbor showed up with a fifth of vodka, believe me I thought about it before taking a swig. I know that for me it starts tasting soooo good, yup straight out of the bottle. That's why I don't do it.

I don't do heavy liquor in the first place generally. I refuse to turn frustration into anger, in the beginning, because that is the only time it can be done. Once you get angry, it is like being drunk, it is very hard to undo.

Now don't think that this means I never raise my voice, or won't smack somebody upside the head for extreme stupidity, it's just that there is no appreciable anger involved. It doesn't mean that I won't spar or slapbox with someone, or have other stupid contests. Like my ex-boss, a shoving match, no anger. That dude should've been a football player, he almost broke my leg. If he had broken my leg, there would be no anger. I was a willing participant in a bit of stupidity, or at least frivolity.  Horseplay pretty much. Anger has no place there.

So take this and your grain of salt. Nipping it in the bud is best because it always gets worse. Look at the domestic violence situations, it starts out when a guy smacks his Wife, and no matter how bad he feels about it, it is bound to happen again, and escalate. It starts with a smack and evolves to her mangled body roilled up in a rug somewhere. Do you want to go to that place in life ?

Understanding is the key, and the first realization to make is that the solution is not in a pill bottle. It may be in a jail cell, but there is no easy answer. This counting to ten and everything is a bunch of shit. Walking away and sweating bullets gets old. YOU have 100% control of your reactions to the world around you, that is the fact.

T



aravain -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/18/2009 4:00:03 PM)

The professionals' help is, at best, lacklustre so far (a point that my last shrink apologized for) I'm currently 'between' them since my last was affiliated with my school, and I'll be visiting another to start a new relationship later this month.

I'm not being completely inactive about this, at all. Medication works in ways that are not normal, for whatever reason, on me, also noted by the *four* psychiatrists I've seen (one normal, then a second normal when she moved to texas, and the other two were from the Hospital and intensive outpatient program). Mood stabilizers *increase* the amount of cycles (defined as 'intense' mood swings, with or without reason, that are 'unreasonable' or 'irrational'), for me. Anti-depressants cause expreme hyper manias (at both high AND lower-than-therapeutic levels). And so on and so forth. Mood therapy (non-medication) is not an option any more, though I HAVE done it in the past, and there was simply no way that my psychologists could think to help me with this area of my mental health (though I will admit that they were intensely helpful with my depressions... that may be because they have never been as 'bad' as my manias, though). The last that I saw suggested that I speak to others I identify with, both with and without mental health problems, and see how they 'cope' with anger... so this is really an exercise (more) in making sure that I've done that so that I don't feel guilty [:D] but I am also genuinely interested.



aravain -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/18/2009 4:08:45 PM)

So what you're saying (effectively) is that the six professionals (two psychologists and four psychiatrists) have all been *wrong* about anger (in general) and how it affects me and others with mood disorders?

You're not making (very important) distinctions between anger as a MOOD, and anger as a REACTION. You're actually kind of ignoring anger as a mood entirely, which is where my problem lies. If I can cope with anger as a mood, the likelihood of anger as a reaction that gets out of control even HAPPENING for me would be practically zero percent, similarly with any rages and such.

In short, I can't learn how to not feel the way I feel in responses to things. That's one thing that has been harped on in ALL of my various forms of therapy. What I *can* learn is how to cope with that feeling and not let it (negatively, at least) impact my life quite as much.

Two facts of bipolar disorder (that I had to understand before even being discharged from the intensive outpatient therapy) are:

You will NEVER not have this disorder.
You can NOT change your mood, only the way you react to it, even with medication.



Termyn8or -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/18/2009 5:57:24 PM)

So you say that what I said does not apply to you, that your situation or condition is different. I can accept that. I will have to add the comment however, that everyone feels that way. Although it may be true that your situation is so different that my words mean naught, I really do doubt it.

What I will not accept is "them" telling you that you will never learn nor think your way out of this. Remember that if you do they make less money. This pisses me off, but on the topic at hand it does not make me angry. Their education and indoctrination is flawed, so anger has no place. I guess in a way I have more "default" faith in you than you in yourself, and certainly more than the naysayers who basically are telling you that they will be making money off of you for the rest of your life. Many people have been cured of cancer and other maladies by alternative health. Not all, but a significant and growing number.

You can go ahead and believe most of what "they" say if you wish, but never believe the words "you can't". Ever. If once, just once a minor irritation comes up and it is not hard to handle, and you don't get angry, that is the first step. The solution is also not in a shrink's office, it is out there in the real world, where you must operate completely, no head games. Head games are OK once in a while, but they are no substitute for real life.

I am guessing that you haven't experienced any really bad consequences due to this. You haven't mentioned any. So other than the occasional abandonment by friends or alientation of family you have not had that wakeup call. Well I have, and I am telling you that it is the only thing that will work for some people. Nothing else worked for me, I am speaking from personal experience.

When you wake up in the middle of the night to piss, and think about the bad evening before, as you piss you wonder if there is a dead body in one of the rooms, so right after pissing you go through the whole house looking for bodies, even blood on the floor, well the sigh of refief is deafening. I have been there and I NEVER want to go there again.

The problem is subconcious, obviously because your concious mind is aware of it, thus you started this thread. A step in the right direction I would say. The problem now is to access and sort of "edit" the subconcious. Pain, restraint, heavy personal losses can all reach the subconcious. There are other ways, forms of meditation you never drempt, but I will not go into that unless asked.

Don't ever accept that you can't. I can give you a few exceptions if you like, you can't jump off at Times square and land in Bejing. You can't flap your wings and fly to the moon. Even if you could fly there is no air up there, thus no wing propelled flight. They say you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, but has anyone actually tried ? I mean with technology as it is now, can we really say it is impossible ?

You tell these suits that you can. That to say otherwise will require them to prove a negative. Sometimes you might feel like an ant trying to move a rubber tree plant, but sometimes you have that breakthrough. Never cheat yourself out of the chance.

T



aravain -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/18/2009 6:22:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

I am guessing that you haven't experienced any really bad consequences due to this. You haven't mentioned any. So other than the occasional abandonment by friends or alientation of family you have not had that wakeup call. Well I have, and I am telling you that it is the only thing that will work for some people. Nothing else worked for me, I am speaking from personal experience.



Depends...

Is being stuck in Jail for a night, a 72-hour-psychiatric hold in an ER, and a few other serious problems (like my mother having to pay a sum that we didn't *have* to make me be not expelled from my school) 'really bad consequences'? I would consider them such... which is, of course, part of the reason I'm still seeking help (professional and otherwise) despite no longer being required to.

I didn't quite like any of those experiences listed, and have had a few others that I would place as equally bad or worse (for me). I didn't bring any up... because they weren't (and aren't) important to the original intent for this thread.

One of my psychiatrists was getting NO MONEY for treating me (I'm talking, it was completely pro-bono, volunteer work) and she emphasized the importance of distinctions between mood, reaction (behaviors), and thoughts (cognitions). Mood is the only one of these that cannot be changed. Not only that *I READ UP ON IT* with articles (way back when) by both psychiatric and non-psychiatric people. I studied deep into myself, and talked with others and everything else I could possibly do... and couldn't fight the fact that I *AGREED* with it because that's the way it felt, in addition to the evidence and fact to support it.

But I'll end this diatribe here [8|] The original question is the one I'm interested in hearing the answer to:

"So what methods work for you?"

in addition to the second:

"What methods might you suggest?" (which was intended more for other people who knew methods that work for others, but not necessarily for themselves)

anything else is unnecessary background information on myself.



DesFIP -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/18/2009 6:22:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain

So what you're saying (effectively) is that the six professionals (two psychologists and four psychiatrists) have all been *wrong* about anger (in general) and how it affects me and others with mood disorders?

In short, I can't learn how to not feel the way I feel in responses to things. That's one thing that has been harped on in ALL of my various forms of therapy. What I *can* learn is how to cope with that feeling and not let it (negatively, at least) impact my life quite as much.

Two facts of bipolar disorder (that I had to understand before even being discharged from the intensive outpatient therapy) are:

You will NEVER not have this disorder.
You can NOT change your mood, only the way you react to it, even with medication.



What I'm not seeing is that you have ever seen an adolescent psychiatrist. Because regular psychiatrists are usually not that familiar with the way bipolar manifests in pediatric or adolescents. It manifests entirely different in the younger ages than in an adult.

SSRIs will cause mania or hypomania in most adolescent onsets. The best choice of meds are some of the new epilepsy meds, and the atypical antipsychotics.

However, if one of your triggers is being screamed at, then walk out the moment someone's voice begins to be raised. Seriously. They can't control themselves, you can't stay around them. When you interview for jobs, observe them for signs of temperment. In some cultures, ethnic background, getting angry and yelling for ten minutes before calming down is common. Someone from this background isn't someone you can work for. And certainly not someone you should choose to willingly associate with.

Beyond that, my daughter keeps her iPod with her at all times, so she can hear sounds that don't upset her and not hear people who are trying to push her buttons. She keeps a book she knows she enjoys nearby so she can tune out someone if needed by immersing herself in a well loved story. These are self coping methods that work well for her, as is stepping out and calling someone who will listen without accusing, get her to laugh and reassure her. Usually me or her brother.

Also, it is important that you pay attention to your physical state. Eating regularly and healthily. Getting enough sleep. Not wearing clothing that itches or is too tight thus causing low level irritation. Try to arrange everything else to be as pleasant as possible so that you are calmer to begin with.



aravain -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/18/2009 6:31:52 PM)

Only one was more experienced with pediatrics. Her reaction when I started seeing her was 'Why the HELL did they put you on Welbutrin?' when I explained that I was having more (and more aggressive and wild) manias than I had been when even being without any medication. I'm kinda sad about it, she was my most recent psychiatrist and she was really good, really sharp... and really cared about her patients.

She's the reason I'm on lamictal now... and it's (really) the only medication that's *actually* helped at all. Unfortunately all it does is keep me out of red-zones (so manic or depressed I need to be in the hospital) when otherwise I would be there... at the cost of making me 'cycle' more often.

Those are actually really good suggestions :D I think I've actually been doing the last (calling someone) with my mother, most recently. She's really helpful when trying to calm down [:D] makes you laugh at yourself (in the good way). I know in High School I always had Kushiel's Dart around for a similar purpose, too... I should start doing that again.

Thanks :D



wandersalone -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/19/2009 2:54:26 AM)

It sounds like you are extremely sensitive to medications and quite a few of them (including some pain medications) can trigger mania, hallucinations etc.  It is definitely something important to keep reminding your doctors about whenever they want to prescribe something new.

Following on from what Celeste suggested if you are going to have a couple of people that act as touch stones so to speak discuss it with them first so they understand what you will be wanting from them at the times you need their assistance and maybe have some sort of short phrase you can say to them to let them know you feel as if you are heading towards one of your 'anger's.  This saves you having to explain it to them and you can also let them know what does and doesn't help.

As mentioned earlier it sounds more like these are almost dissociative rather than reactive ....and it sounds like you have a good handle on this being a reason CBT hasn't been helpful for these times. 

To quickly ground yourself when you first start to feel the anger starting could you carry something in your pocket that you can quickly grab and focus on the sensation. I am trying to imagine what you could use...something which is spiky would be great so that you could feel the sensations without actually piercing the skin but I am not sure what you could use.  Or even a crystal that you feel is healing or calming, a pebble, a small toy, soft ball....anything that you can carry around and that you will immediately recognise when you hold it. 

While holding it focus on how it feels, how big it is, how heavy or light, is it cold or warm, rough or smooth.   The purpose of this is to hopefully keep you grounded even if only for a short time, staying in the present moment rather than being overwhelmed by the anger to then give you a  few more seconds to excuse yourself from the situation.

You can also ask the people whom you feel comfortable with and who are likely to be around you at some of these times to ask you some grounding questions eg describe the clock on the wall, get them to gently stroke or pinch your arm and ask you some q's about this sensation, ask you to grab their hand tightly.  Get them to use your name with ech question again as a way of keeping you connected to the now. Again they need to know you well enough to know when the anger is starting to build up in you and what you would find helpful and what wouldn't.  eg. a woman I knew would get her husband to ask her some questions but he wasn't able to touch her as it would trigger a more severe reaction in her.

Sorry I don't have more ideas....I have actually been thinking about this since you posted wondering what I would suggest and am very impressed by your own understanding of what happens for you at these times ....damn I hope that doesn't come across as patronising as I mean it sincerely. [:)]



TranceTara -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/19/2009 3:56:28 AM)

aravain,
My heart goes out to you. I personally know that biochemically imbalances are very difficult to cope with and quite misunderstood by those who have never suffered from them.

I have been diagnosed bi-polar, more of a manic/euphoric and then suicidal depressive. I was later to learn that a medication I was taking for another health problem had many psychiatric side effects. It could be I had minor bi-polar which got exacerbated by the medication. I could go a couple of days with no sleep, then only get 2 hours of sleep and finally had to take sleeping pills to shut my mind up. Then when the depression hit I could do nothing but sleep. Needless to say I lost many a friend for they could not cope with these mood swings.

And yes, I did have severe bouts of anger where I would go off and curse and scream and even kick things. My fear of karma kept me from doing any physical harm to others. Well, I did cut on myself out of anger and to relieve the emotional pain.

I finally went down a variety of paths that helped me greatly. Some were meditative and others used herbal formulas to help nourish parts of my body that were in dire need of nourishment, and another important one was the use of comedy. Anger is a heavy stress and depletes the body of B vitamins, Vitamin C and causes a great increase in the fight or flight mechanism thus depleting the adrenals. This can cause a vicious cycle of anger, fatigue, depression, more anger, fatigue, depression. It manifests differently for different people since we are all biochemically individual and have our weaknesses in different parts of our body.

I saw so many psychiatrists as a teenager and young adult and all had their own ideas and diagnoses. One tried me on 15 different medications from Antidepressant to anticonvulsants. None helped. And, one diagnosed me with temporal lobe epilepsy which would explain those times I go blank for a bit and then I'm back. But now I choose not to take any medication, other than keeping some valium around if the panic gets a bit too much.

I learned my acute triggers and now watch my mind as the thoughts of anger arise and feel it in body. I then have to tell myself that this person is not worth me destroying my body or mind. I then ask myself, "If I were to die right now would I wish to go with an angry mind or peaceful mind?" That seems to help me get focused and I repeat a mantra to calm my mind and slow my breathing which relaxes me greatly. That's just for me. I also carry a crystal or a stone in my pocket, whatever calls to me that day, and I reach into my pocket when one of my triggers is right in my face and massage the crystal or stone.

I would be more than happy to share some of the supplements and herbal formulas I take as well as other techniques I use, privately, if you are open to it. I do not wish to bombard you with information for that can trigger stress on its own. I know that for I had many well wishers giving me their advice, yet none really wished to be around to help. (I hope I have not shared too much nor discounted any of what you are feeling in this post.) I am blessed with 3 wonderful angels as friends who do not judge me nor do they try to fix me. They are there for support and keep me on track.

I will say that one thing that has saved me is a Bach Flower essence called Rescue Remedy. Since there is nothing physical in it, being a vibration of the flower essence preserved in brandy, well, it helps with any emotional or physical trauma. If that doesn't work on my anger I use Holly (a single essence by Bach) and sometimes combine it with Cherry Plum. Holly deals with anger and Cherry Plum is if you feel you are about to lose control.
Again, I can share more with you privately if you wish.

I do hope you find relief and know that many of us are rooting for you and empathize with your situation. Biochemical stuff is so hard to explain. I had to tell friends it was like my head went numb and felt like a giant was squeezing it out. Then I would hear hisses and my hands would tingle.

Blessings,
TranceTara



aravain -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/19/2009 12:00:13 PM)

wandersalone, that is probably the best idea (and articulation of the reason why it's difficult to treat) that I've ever heard [:D] I'm going to steal it if ya don't mind :D

Don't worry, it didn't come across as patronizing at all. I actually have a dream crystal that I can use for this purpose after cleansing it of the negative energy and refocusing it. One benefit of the medication is that I do not get night terrors or nightmares any more. It has a wonderful tactile sensation, and a 'window' which is why I originally used it to ease my dreams. I never thought of having something physical to do that with :3

I'll be sure to talk to my mother as well and let her know for certain that I'd like to 'use' (that sounds so dirty) her in this fashion and plan things out with her, if she's willing for it [:)]

This thread has been so very helpful where I thought it would only be mildly interesting XD

@TranceTara:
I'm going to cMail you on the other side :) I'm really interested in your ideas and remedies. I'd never heard of Holly for anger, specifically, but thinking on it it DOES make sense.[:D] I suppose I'm a bit of a silly goose.

Thanks again :D



DesFIP -> RE: Coping With Anger (1/19/2009 3:02:35 PM)

The Lamictal is helpful but not enough. Ask about adding Seroquel of Risperdal to it. That's what my daughter is on. She's been stable on this mix for several years now.

You may want to set your cell phone alarm to remind you to take it on time, an alarm to remind you it's time for a snack, for lunch, etc. Hers rings a dozen times a day. It works.

Make a calming genre on the iPod. Keep apples and cheese crackers available. (She eats oranges and Ritz). Lots of water, lots of sleep. Little to no alcohol and recreational drugs, they just don't mix.



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