RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/19/2009 8:14:03 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

When I was a pro dominant, I had men cut off contact with me when I told them of my "side job", even though I made it clear (or so I THOUGHT) that I was not approaching them as a client. And I am a respected member of the community, etc etc.

I keep hearing from men who get into lengthy, seemingly "real" conversations with women who then ask for tribute of some kind as proof of sincerity. That kind of behaviour just makes my head explode, but it seems very common now. <shakes head> I never solicited anyone's business when I was a pro, my advertising took care of that. I think that the game has changed in some essential ways, and there are more issues than there were before.

I think your so right.

It seems that sub males on here get hit on by the semi-pro Domme and they just get disillusioned by the whole thing. Then someone real like Coupleofwhats comes along and they just group her along with the rest.
When I worked as a pro Mistress, I also wanted a relationship with a submissive. Its a bit like saying a pro horse rider never wants to ride just for her own pleasure.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 21

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/19/2009 11:40:35 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

It would not bother me a bit. I have played with several pros and have never paid a fee. It was no different than playing with non-pros. Good luck in your search.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 22

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/19/2009 11:46:12 AM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

The only thing I can think of is that they see the pro aspect and think that you are going to offer a freebie once and then expect tribute for the others and they do not wish to start. You are in a strange situation, a pro with an accepting boyfriend looking for playmates and not relationships. Those ideas alone might make the average subs head explode.

DV

_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 23

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/19/2009 11:47:15 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

When I was a pro dominant, I had men cut off contact with me when I told them of my "side job", even though I made it clear (or so I THOUGHT) that I was not approaching them as a client.
Their loss...

And I am a respected member of the community, etc etc.
Yes you are.

I keep hearing from men who get into lengthy, seemingly "real" conversations with women who then ask for tribute of some kind as proof of sincerity. That kind of behaviour just makes my head explode, but it seems very common now. <shakes head> I never solicited anyone's business when I was a pro, my advertising took care of that. I think that the game has changed in some essential ways, and there are more issues than there were before.
I have seen some profiles stating that the sub has to send a tribute to prove they are real before the domme will talk to them online. To me this is totally different from a Pro who advertises session in the real world. I think that is where a lot of the pro threads come from. People don't understand the difference.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 24

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/19/2009 11:50:38 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

....

I'll pay for one, but I wouldn't want her as a friend; I could never introduce her any of my real friends.

...

Oh Red! For shame!

Maybe you already knew this, but I wasn't talking about how I think; I was talking about how a lot of other men think. I'm proud of the friends I have, and, believe me, some of the nerdy guys in my department look at me differently because I'm the dude who "dated the dominatrix." And OMG she looked just like a normal person when they met her (shocking isn't it), except she was hotter than their girlfriends. I don't see any reason to play according to normal social rules of proper conduct. I introduce people I like to one another. Period.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Sundowner)

Post #: 25

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/19/2009 1:19:05 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

You're such a REBEL, Red! :)

Thanks THB!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 26

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/19/2009 7:36:33 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

I would think you'd also get some guys who got a 'kick' out of being with a professional Domme free?
Hmmm, I don't know much about 'the scene' but I wouldn't have a problem with a partner being a proDom (I wouldn't allow a female to dominate me) as long as he was not having sex/genital or bodily fluid contact with anyone other than me, that he did not use toys on me that were used on clients (Contamination concerns), that he was willing to do the things with me that he did with clients, along with all of the other important general relational stuff.
Best wishes with finding play partners,
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to YoursMistress)

Post #: 27

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/19/2009 8:00:23 PM

OneMoreWaste

Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi
It would not bother me a bit. I have played with several pros and have never paid a fee.

Well duh, that's a given- you don't have a penis.

Apple, meet orange

< Message edited by OneMoreWaste -- 1/19/2009 8:05:26 PM >

_____________________________

-and the few still remember passion over rage-

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 28

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/19/2009 8:01:53 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi
It would not bother me a bit. I have played with several pros and have never paid a fee.

Well duh, that's a given- you don't have a penis.

You really don't know a lot about pro dom clientele, do you?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to OneMoreWaste)

Post #: 29

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/19/2009 8:20:50 PM

Coupleofwhats

Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

The only thing I can think of is that they see the pro aspect and think that you are going to offer a freebie once and then expect tribute for the others and they do not wish to start. You are in a strange situation, a pro with an accepting boyfriend looking for playmates and not relationships. Those ideas alone might make the average subs head explode.

DV

I thought it would be ideal for many of them!
They get to see me dressed to the kinky nines and play in a cool studio. And they don't have to worry about doing the boyfriend stuff.

I did manage to find some guys though: so, fingers crossed for this week! Here's hoping they show up.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm6JgZ35w8w

(in reply to VampiresLair)

Post #: 30

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/20/2009 12:16:14 AM

OneMoreWaste

Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi
It would not bother me a bit. I have played with several pros and have never paid a fee.

Well duh, that's a given- you don't have a penis.

You really don't know a lot about pro dom clientele, do you?

I've never even played a pro dom on the Internet, so I would say that my first-hand knowledge is, technically speaking, el Zilcharonay as charged.

Do feel free to enlighten me as to the masses of female (born *and* bred) submissive-types who flock to pros dommes cash in hand, and all the submissive men who win them over with their gentler charms. I'm all eyes. .

_____________________________

-and the few still remember passion over rage-

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 31

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/20/2009 12:21:44 AM

OneMoreWaste

Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats
I like my men more confident than that.

Of course you do. And that's why a submissive male will never be good enough for you. We get it. Without even meeting you.

quote:

And in any case, I make it clear that I am NOT looking for an exclusive relationship from the first sentence of my personal. I like having a group of available boys (which is half the reason I got into this line of work!) I would think that those who can't handle that sort of arrangement would not respond in the first place.

Indeed.
As the media might lead you to predict, *those* guys are off chasing the girls that will
GIVE
UP
TEH
PUSSAY.
The guys who want a Woman they can devote themselves to are looking for Woman who actually *wants* devotion.

_____________________________

-and the few still remember passion over rage-

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 32

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/20/2009 7:03:49 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste

quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats
I like my men more confident than that.

Of course you do. And that's why a submissive male will never be good enough for you. We get it. Without even meeting you.

Don't you know dominant men who are insecure, shallow and clueless? I sure do. Don't you think it's possible that a submissive man could be confident, deep and sensible?

I was talking with a female sub friend of mine recently. She has a black master now, after mostly having relationships with white guys in the past. She said: "He gets that I've been taught to be a strong black woman since I was a little girl. He understands I have to be that strong woman, and that I also have to be submissive. It's nice." Are men really that different, that they can't be both strong and sub, the way she is?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to OneMoreWaste)

Post #: 33

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/20/2009 7:50:30 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi
It would not bother me a bit. I have played with several pros and have never paid a fee.

Well duh, that's a given- you don't have a penis.

Apple, meet orange

So you think if I had a penis it would bother me? Or do you think if I had a penis, they would not have played for free?

None of them touched my crouch while we were playing so what difference would it make?

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to OneMoreWaste)

Post #: 34

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/20/2009 3:45:45 PM

Coupleofwhats

Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste

quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats
I like my men more confident than that.

Of course you do. And that's why a submissive male will never be good enough for you. We get it. Without even meeting you.

quote:

And in any case, I make it clear that I am NOT looking for an exclusive relationship from the first sentence of my personal. I like having a group of available boys (which is half the reason I got into this line of work!) I would think that those who can't handle that sort of arrangement would not respond in the first place.

Indeed.
As the media might lead you to predict, *those* guys are off chasing the girls that will
GIVE
UP
TEH
PUSSAY.
The guys who want a Woman they can devote themselves to are looking for Woman who actually *wants* devotion.

Whoa.
Submissive men are certainly good enough for me: that's why I date one. Not everyone hangs out in the "submissives are the unwashed and unworthy!" playground.

And again, I'm not looking for devotion from these guys. Just kink play. I've been known to play casually only once or twice with someone. We both have fun, and then move on.
If they just want to get laid, there are bars, clubs and other personals.
If they want both, then they shouldn't be responding to an ad from someone who just wants play.
It's not hard to understand.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm6JgZ35w8w

(in reply to OneMoreWaste)

Post #: 35

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/20/2009 3:51:36 PM

Coupleofwhats

Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako
As for the OP...I have nothing to say. Well besides in reply to;

quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats
Not all men require that you sign over the exclusive rights to your sexuality just because you're dating: I like my men more confident than that. I don't exchange bodily fluids, so there's nothing for them to worry about.

I don't see how a man who wants monogamy is any more or less confident than one who doesn't.

My point was that the relationship IS monogamous. I don't have sex with (or even kiss) anyone other than my boyfriend; his health isn't in jeopardy because I tie up other naked men sometimes.

And IME, the men who could handle that I was going to be flirting or playing with other dudes have always been above and beyond in the confidence department. I like that.

< Message edited by Coupleofwhats -- 1/20/2009 3:52:11 PM >

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm6JgZ35w8w

(in reply to Usako)

Post #: 36

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/20/2009 6:41:14 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

I think them boys is crazy. I would be your personal slave in a heartbeat!

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 37

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/27/2009 1:24:07 PM

Tempestas

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/27/2008
Status: offline

I don't have a reason why some would shy away from having a personal play relationship with a pro-domme. One of my dearest friends is a pro-domme, and she and I have played before, and I have been in service to her before, but the strongest thing that we have is our friendship. Through much trial and error we have learned that is our strongest bond. We are still feeling our way around all the landmines that are present in any relationship (especially bdsm) - and we have been friends for nearly 10 years.

I can only guess that maybe some men are feeling that perhaps its just a lure to eventually pull them into a paying relationship. Maybe... I dunno. It's really hard to say, and I have not a clue if there is a "universal" answer applicable to all male subs.

But good luck with your search.

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 38

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/27/2009 10:30:06 PM

OneMoreWaste

Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi
It would not bother me a bit. I have played with several pros and have never paid a fee.

Well duh, that's a given- you don't have a penis.

Apple, meet orange

So you think if I had a penis it would bother me? Or do you think if I had a penis, they would not have played for free?

None of them touched my crouch while we were playing so what difference would it make?

Donno, but I've encountered more than a few pros who make their money off of malesubs, but go home to a girl. Maybe one of them will know.

You don't think there's a difference?
You think that all the professional ads out there are aimed at female subs? Any of them?
Do you see lots of posts from femdoms griping about how they're deluged with unwanted advances from female subs?
Do you see "Domination" or "fetish parties" where they charge female submissives more than any other demographic?
If you look at Femdoms seeking female subs on CM, what are they more interested in- making you prove that you're Female, or this "tribute" thing you see guys whining about?

_____________________________

-and the few still remember passion over rage-

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 39

RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants? - 1/29/2009 11:30:47 PM

KiandPhoenix

Posts: 205
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline

We don't think there is anything wrong with a pro. Good for you that you get to do something you love as a living. Wish we all could.

If we were talking to you though, and you made clear that you were looking for something personal, then sent us to your website, we would assume you were working to hard for your business. Once someone sends me a link I assume they are just trying to get me to go to their website and spend cash. I don't click on them, and usually write them off.

I understand from your posting that you probably are running into people like us who see the link and assume the worst. It is from all the people who do things like that. I suggest you tell them you are a pro. tell them you have a website with enough information that if they put it in a search engine they would find you.

1. Don't give them the link unless they ask for it. Most people will be curious enough to find out for themselves if you don't give it to them right away.

2.When telling them that you are a pro, remind them that you are looking for something for your use, and tell them about the differences. This will help them separate the two in their mind, and reinforce that you are not trying to get them to pay you.

3. I know you probably have everything you can do, all your interests, what you are looking for all on your website. Communicate it yourself anyhow. Copy and paste if you have to so that you are sending it in your e-mail, but the effort will show you are interested in them, and not just their business.

Just our opinions and experiences, because we think working with a pro would be great, but we would walk with the first link you sent us.

(in reply to YoursMistress)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Free Play with Professional Dominants?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109