quote:

ORIGINAL: feydeplume

Let me start by saying I am sorry. I didn't think you meant any ill will or patronization and it was wrong to use your kind words and comments to make a point.
Thank you, I really do appreciate it. And I do fully believe that YOU didn't think those thoughts and that there was no distancing in your words.

Let Me start by saying, that there is No need for an apology. I perfectly understand where you are coming from.
I didn't feel it as an attack. So No worries.

It is just a topic that is, at times, very emotionally charged for all involved. It causes distress and pain for the person hearing it and to protect themselves they tend to distance themselves, hide behind anger, or rapidly change the subject. The worst is when they, out of anger and the badness that happened, become antagonistic or mistrustful. All my friends and lovers know. Some know a lot of details, some don't and that has depended on their comfort level. I know, Ive been there too so I know what you mean hon.

I really don't like upsetting people or causing mental/emotional pain so, even though i strongly believe that i should speak out, it kills me a little to see the pain and fear and anger in their faces. At the same time, I think we, men and women, should be able to talk about it the same way people talk about a car accident, having our house broken into, or getting beaten up in high school. I think we should be socially free to make bad jokes about it and have people laugh with us. I don't think we should feel like we have to hide it or only share with our closest friends. I am sort of borrowing from the gay rights movement with this idea  and denying the validity of the "don't ask don't tell" idea.

I agree, that it should b out there in the open to talk about, it's good to let it out, but the majority can't handle such,
or are afraid to hurt you if they would say anything 'wrong',
so this is a topic which will stay a taboo,
as so many other topics.

I can't appreciate jokes about this subject though.
But that's personal of course.

you can talk to Me about it any time,
so feel free to email Me, if you would like too.

But i really do not like the pain i see on their faces, the rage they feel at the criminals (yes child abuse is a crime), and the gulf that can open between me and the others that makes me feel like a zoo animal rather than a person.

So when you feel that way when you talk about it,
is that a good idea to talk about it hon??

Again, I am sorry that i came off so bitchy and was so completely inappropriate. And thank you for being a grown up about it and giving me a chance to apologize.

As I said before, it's alright.
And you're more then welcome.

I wish you enough.
Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

quote:

ORIGINAL: servantheart

Haven't read through the responses on this thread, but my own opinion is that it's a stereotype perpetrated by those I refer to as rabid, intolerant, misandronistic "feminists" who can't accept that there really are women who prefer and choose to live under the authority of a Man.  They hyperfocus on and use a serious issue, as well as the unfortunate real victims of spousal abuse, to further their agenda and give themselves credibility.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: feydeplume


I talk freely about the rape and abuse (but not the specifics) because i refuse to keep a toxic secret and i want people to SEE that it is just something that happened, like my broken shoulder or one of my highly amusing but unfortunate skiing mishaps (ever lost YOUR pants on the lift? its a great story, dispite the hypothermia). And the more women who speak out, the more women CAN speak out and the sooner, in my perfect world, the victim stereotype will lessen and we can all get on with our lives.