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pompeii -> RE: Distance & Disappointment (a rant)... (1/20/2009 7:10:57 AM)
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Your best bet, if there's at least one real Domme here, local to you, is to focus on the closest Domme, spend your energies on her.
Don't widen your scope, don't click on just any Domme pic, just focus on the one nearest you (who seems real).
If there isn't a Domme near you (near is 20 miles or so) who responds to your CM mail, then, well, then hit another venue outside of CM.
DO NOT WIDEN YOUR SCOPE! (ymmv...but this is my advice to you)
OK, so there isn't a Domme within 20 miles. So now what?
My advice? Keep your scope (20 miles or so) but change your starting point.
Yup. Use some other free service (plenty abound).
Dunno your area ..... but in mine, there is always Craigslist which is far better than CM for meeting "real" people IMHO.
However, bear in mind, even on CL, which is vastly superior to CM for personals, in my real world experience, even so, with CL, you'll put an ad out and get nobody (well, I'm discounting the spambots). Then you'll put another ad out a week later, and still get nobody (ads in my area only last a week, yours may be longer). Again and again, you'll get nobody ('cept the same spamscams) ... but eventually ... over a span of a month or more ... you'll get one or three bites, half or more of which will be out of your area (I never understood why people post to the local CL from afar but they're fishing just like you are I guess).
OT HINT: Put two ads out, totally different, looking for different things - when you get the inevitable spambots, they'll both say the same thing but reply to your two different ads. You can delete them on the spot. Also delete anything from a 20-something, anything with a professional-looking picture, anything with a URL or an email address in it, and, even anything with a phone number that doesn't compute (they get clever these spamscammers). Delete anything that says CL won't let them send a picture. Oh, there's so much to delete. You'll only get two or so responses (at most) to any one ad, but, even then, you'll likely have to delete both as spamscam. Just keep trying ... a "real" person is out there.
After a month of searching, following this advice, you should have "found" one or two local women who seem to want what you want. See? I told you it was a fishing expedition. How many fish did you expect to catch? One or two should be enough for you because this is work. You have to rent the boat, gather up your best-looking gear, head out to the sea, and fish, fish, fish. And, after a month, you have two good bites. It can be done. She just isn't going to flop right into your lap on the get go because you said so.
But, once you've got someone on the line, your job is now just starting. Yup. You thought the hard work was over but the trolling was the easy part. Now the hard work actually starts. Don't do the hard work and, trust me, I've been there, you will lose her. She has plenty of other worms to eat 'cuz there are thousands of guys just like you trolling these very same waters. You just have to make your worm more interesting than those ten thousand others. That ain't easy but that's your job. And, the real effort is just starting.
Once you get those one or to positive responses from someone local, my advice is to put all your energy into THEM! Write them. Respond to them. Call them. Answer their questions. Talk to them. Send a G-rated pic to them. Pose your own questions. Suggest a meeting place. Suggest an event. Suggest something. She's busy. She's got scores like you so, be persistent. Don't be a pain though, these things have half lives of about a week or so. If the two nibbles you got don't work out then start over (yup, it's a lot of work ... I'm not saying it isn't).
Point is, it isn't easy being a guy. It never was easy being a guy. I'm sure it's not easy being a gal (different dynamic though). As a guy, there are thousands just like you (and me), some better, some worse (I think they're worse, but, hell, it doesn't matter what we think in this dynamic).
My advice is to treat this endeavor as an adventure, a fishing adventure, where, when you finally get a bite, you reel her in, you woo her, you dine her, you foist attention upon her, and, in the end, you just might win her over, over and above the thousands of others she can easily choose from.
Or, you can whine about it. Either way, it's your choice. She's got plenty of guys to choose from with or without you (or me).
Good luck!
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