daddysprop247 -> RE: "About more than sex?" (1/20/2009 10:15:39 AM)
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ORIGINAL: DomDG I read that all the time when someone says anything about sexuality in the life. It never fails that someone will say, "well this life...", "bdsm is...." "D/s is..." etc. But why do people feel the need to say that? Is not every long term relationship about more than sex? But aren't some of the relationships about nothing BUT sex? I mean I know people that hook up with the knowledge that this play session, this meeting is about getting us both turned on and going at it like rabbits! In a recent post on another group a brave girl lamented a physical/emotional reaction that her SO is having since going on some medicines. Most of the replies were spot on, but then suddeny those words appeared... "BDSM is about more than sex..." Well, Duh! The original poster did not say "All I want is sex" So why in the middle of this girls cry for help did someone feel the need to go there? It irks me when I read that, especially when the problem being discussed WAS sexual! It wasn't a problem with the dynamic of D/s. It was 'Hey, I need it, he doesn't right now, how do I cope?" She wasn't asking for advice on how to submit more, she was asking if she was okay for her feelings in the matter. I am NOT saying it IS all about sex, I love the power exchange, the D/s, the look of adoration, the look of fear, the service, the intimacy, and all that is incorporated. But I am a sexual Dom, and people that always say "it's not about sex" seem to want to exclude a lot of poeple. it's not about exclusion, it's about differentiating. there's a monumental difference between someone who engages in bdsm activities, enjoys topping and bottoming, has sadistic or masochistic tendencies, is into "kinky" sex and sub/dom play, and someone who simply IS dominant or submissive by nature, for whom D/s permeates all aspects of their lives because it is natural and omnipresent as their eye or skin color. so while there may be a multitude of interests shared at times on both sides, the difference between the two cultures if you will are so great that we cannot all be comfortably shoved under one banner or umbrella as if we are united in a common lifestyle. this can make things very confusing and frustrating, particularly so for newbies who don't yet know which end is up. this is why i do believe it's important for people to continue to speak up and say, "it's not all about the sex," because there will always be proclaimations from ten others who will insist that for them, it is all about the sex and kink.
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