The caring husband (Full Version)

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FourQ -> The caring husband (1/22/2009 6:22:02 AM)

It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.

When you notice this, try not to shout at them. Some are oversensitive and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julie.

When I took early retirement last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job for the extra income that we need.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I now usually get home from the pub about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she nearly always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.

I don't shout at her, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch at the pub so eating out again is out of the question; I'm ready for some home cooked food when I get home.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's usual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to do the shopping during her lunch hour. But we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then won't hurt her. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.  She has to take a rest when she was only half finished mowing the lawn and several extra breaks when she's vacuuming through the house. It does annoy me vacuuming when I'm trying to watch match of the day but I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to make herself a nice cup of tea and just sit for a while, and as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!

Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.  However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other eh?



Ron died suddenly last week. He was found with a 20-inch Stanley screwdriver rammed up his jaxi with only 2 inches showing.
His wife Julie was arrested and put on trial.
The all-woman jury accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it.




CallMePatches -> RE: The caring husband (1/23/2009 12:15:02 PM)

*snicker* Sounds like some men I know.




hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: The caring husband (1/23/2009 12:20:32 PM)

"He fell on it, your honor."
 
"37 Times???"
 
"He was clumsy."




jen182 -> RE: The caring husband (1/23/2009 12:23:10 PM)

hehehe nice




ChainGoddess -> RE: The caring husband (1/23/2009 12:53:48 PM)

Excellent! [:D][:D][:D][:D]




FourQ -> RE: The caring husband (1/23/2009 1:32:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

"He fell on it, your honor."
 
"37 Times???"
 
"He was clumsy."

He kept slipping on his own blood [;)]




Sanguinarian -> RE: The caring husband (2/4/2009 8:34:15 PM)

Ma'am, you're being charged with Manslaughter.

Well, your Honor... you can't have slaughter without 'laughter'




MarksFantasyGirl -> RE: The caring husband (2/4/2009 9:08:51 PM)

Change the names on that to mine, and my Ex's..... and well, that's about the truth.... Only It wasn't manslaughter.... It was Murder.... I Planned out EVERYTHING... We were together for 4 years. I had LOTS of time to think it through....

Ummmmmmmmm.  No, You don't need to go digging in the woods.  Under the twisted tree.  Beside the river.  Nope.  No need.




GreedyTop -> RE: The caring husband (2/4/2009 10:25:05 PM)

*snort*




WyldHrt -> RE: The caring husband (2/4/2009 10:30:30 PM)

ROFL! A bit of a reminder as to why the ex is now the ex [:D]




FourQ -> RE: The caring husband (2/5/2009 3:45:31 AM)

Some years ago our friends came over for the weekend.
After a few hours of single malts it came to M that a body could easily be disposed of given what was in the garage.
He'd concluded that he'd render somebody unconscious with a shovel or murder them with the pick axe.
He'd store the body in the 6' chest freezer, periodically trimming off flesh with one of the saws or the chainsaw and thawing it for the neighbours cats.
The bones would be disposed of by going for a ride on the bike with the lads every Sunday, throwing a bone from the backpack or tankbag every trip out thus scattering the bones across the North East over time.

The two lasses and I all looked at each other and responded with comments such as "F'kin hell, how many have you had?", "When did you think this one up?" and "You're f'kin nuts!". 

I just went to get the shovel.[;)]




Steponme73 -> RE: The caring husband (2/5/2009 8:01:51 AM)

Andy Capp and the revenge!!




GimpinDenial -> RE: The caring husband (2/5/2009 11:13:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FourQ
He'd concluded that he'd render somebody unconscious with a shovel or murder them with the pick axe.
He'd store the body in the 6' chest freezer, periodically trimming off flesh with one of the saws or the chainsaw and thawing it for the neighbours cats.


uhmmm.......if he froze the body, you could cut pieces off and simply put it down the garbage disposal
Unless you have a sceptic tank (which could clog from the tissue bloat)
The hardest piece of all....

The head
Simply place a garbage bag (heavy not that light kitchen crap) into a five gallon bucket...
Fill it more than a quarter of the way with ready mix concrete, allow to cure to the point it is still soft
Drop in head
wait an hour
Fill to the top with more ready mix
wait one day

Simply yank the bag out (now a concrete cylinder inside)
Set aside for a day when you are digging a post hole
Make sure your Concrete Pill goes in at the bottom
(remember to make note that you need to dig the hole deep enough to account for the space of Pill)

Just my opinion.....
Not that I have thought about it much.....
really, I haven't!





MissEnchanted -> RE: The caring husband (2/5/2009 12:47:57 PM)

[:D][:D][:D]




FourQ -> RE: The caring husband (2/5/2009 12:58:50 PM)

No septic tank, no "garbage disposal" (we have wheelie bins).
Keep in mind that this was simply drunken talk, but all the little things had been thought of by M just as he was coming up with the stuff.
That's the part that worried me.




goodgirl85 -> RE: The caring husband (2/5/2009 4:14:09 PM)

haha... great, and speaking of murders CSI is on tonight...




GoodFeathers -> RE: The caring husband (2/6/2009 7:44:49 AM)

Pigs.  The answer is pigs.  A dozen pigs can scarf up a 200 pound body (bones & all) in under 16 minutes. 

I don't know why I know this...I've never lived on a farm...




Sindel -> RE: The caring husband (2/6/2009 12:03:46 PM)

The title of thr joke itself is an oxymoran




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