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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 9:44:48 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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YoursMistress, I do not think it unreasonable to want someone who *considers* themselves attractive.  Self confidence is a wonderful trait, especially in a dominant.  We cranky ones are objecting to those that only want  cover models in latex and leather.

Bear, I can't imagine you coming off as superficial, but I am a little prejudiced!  (though we did get off on the wrong foot ages ago, didn't we!).   I am happy to get compliments, and I almost always send a polite thanks.  The ones that are icky are the guys that say "Oh I love that PVC dress it makes me hot".  Well gee, thanks for sharing!    Shoot, I send folks compliments all the time!  Sometimes I get a note back, sometimes not. 

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 10:13:10 AM   
IntellectualPro


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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

No.  Economic status of the parents has more to do with IQ scores than any other variable.  Barring some medical condition like trisomy 21, if you take a child, born to any parents, and provide it affection and personal attention, you'll get a young man or young woman who is sharp as a tack.  Malnutrition, lack of access to education, and parents working and unable to afford childcare, are examples of the reasons kids grow up "dumb."  Genetic makeup has almost nothing to do with this.



Soo splain to me why my sister and I have far higher IQ scores than my other sister and brother?

Anyways IQ tests are a rubbish way to test anyone, all it shows is how good someone is at IQ tests.

You and your siblings each have a unique genetic makeup (unless twins) and experiences in life (unless attached at the hip).

All of this talk of IQ tests... and as I said, its treated as subjective. I don't think its shallow for anyone to seek their (insert subjective adjective here) dream partner. In their mind, they have a representation of what that means.

Red, before claiming genetics play so little a role, perform the studies yourself or look up what experts have found. Here's a nice overview of studies on the topic:
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/85840.php

The gist: genetics affect your predisposition to learning and then its up to you to learn, at whatever pace you are capable of, from your environment. If your environment is full of opportunities to learn (i.e., nurturing parents, education, a wolf pack ...), then you stand a better chance.

At least Red picked up on the level of effort involved in raising intelligence: nurturing, nutrition, education... oh hey, all sorts of things out of a child's control! But when you get older, you can do a lot to improve your own intelligence, with effort.

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 10:15:50 AM   
IntellectualPro


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quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

I just get very uncomfortable over the fact that often when a person compliments another on their appearance and then wonder if that comments will be interpreted as being superficial by mistake. Personally I hope that I am not reducing a woman to an object when I comment how beautiful she looks or that outfit she happens to be wearing makes her look stunning.


Amen.

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 10:27:02 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: IntellectualPro


quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

I just get very uncomfortable over the fact that often when a person compliments another on their appearance and then wonder if that comments will be interpreted as being superficial by mistake. Personally I hope that I am not reducing a woman to an object when I comment how beautiful she looks or that outfit she happens to be wearing makes her look stunning.


Amen.


There is nothing wrong with a POLITE compliment.  Everyone likes to hear that they look attractive. 


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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 11:10:08 AM   
RedMagic1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: IntellectualPro

Red, before claiming genetics play so little a role, perform the studies yourself or look up what experts have found.

I know you don't know me, and many people do post on the net without knowing what they are talking about.  However, I do.  My position was that income matters more than genetics, and if you sample worldwide, there is no question that it does.  If you are trying to refute my position, then the studies you link to suffer from sample bias.

One example:
http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v388/n6641/abs/388468a0.html

You are welcome to search for a single study by an institution accredited by the APA that states that genetics plays a greater role than the amount of nutrition and attention a child gets from the ages of 0-5.  Poverty plays a much greater role than chromosomes.  Period.


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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 11:19:24 AM   
colouredin


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Or maybe poorer people are genetically thicker? JOKE dont eat me

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 11:31:37 AM   
SassySarijane


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quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Well my face is out there on my profile...  I get plenty of "you're gorgeous" emails, to which I respond, "thank you".  I am baffled that someone would want to submit to my beauty, as if that was ME.  I do not like being objectified.


I just get very uncomfortable over the fact that often when a person compliments another on their appearance and then wonder if that comments will be interpreted as being superficial by mistake. Personally I hope that I am not reducing a woman to an object when I comment how beautiful she looks or that outfit she happens to be wearing makes her look stunning. I guess this is the reason why I don't hand out compliments too frequently, so when I do it is a safe assumption that said complements are honest ones and not just cheap meaningless words.



Yeah, but Bear, your complimenting someone on their outfit or how great they look in it or how you like their hair is a far cry from "Oh Mistress, you are a beautiful Goddess and I wish to serve you forever and ever" as a first contact. I can nearly always (after having some experience with it) pick up on the sincerety, or lack thereof, in a compliment given as can, I am quite sure, many of the ladies here.

A profile that reads "I want to worship and serve and enslave myself to a beautiful Goddess" comes off as very shallow and lacking in taking the human/person factor into account.

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 12:31:20 PM   
RedMagic1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Or maybe poorer people are genetically thicker? JOKE dont eat me

Much as I would love to eat you...

There have been 50 gazillion "philosophies" based on exactly that joke, unfortunately -- except they were serious.  That somehow the low income and impoverished deserve to be that way, because of mental inferiority.  Or, it's up to the noble civilized man to rule the childlike savage.

About a week ago, a dom posted on the boards that some people were sub because of their "genetic marker," though when I asked him where on the genome the marker was, he responded that his position had "nothing to do with biochemistry."  People tend to throw around "genetics" as some magic term -- and as an excuse to avoid trying to improve oneself, or help others.

But set aside intelligence, and consider a People-magazine standard of beauty.  The woman who has the time to live in the gym, and the money to go under the knife, is going to be "more beautiful" than the woman who works manual labor, has a couple kids, and can't afford a gym membership.  The genetic stock of the two women is barely relevant.


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 12:49:02 PM   
colouredin


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You know Red I adore reading your posts. And I totally agree with you. I always worry about the word genetics its one step away from Eugenics. I am such a massive believer in social construction and I can think of very few things that are not socially constructed. Beauty/Intelligence/Race/Gender etc are all socially constructed, when we discuss genetics it instantly creates the massive red light screaming 'normal' and that really worries me.

There is nothing wrong with preferance in the type of person that you think you would like to be with, that is fine but its the over arching statements that are deeply concerning.

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 12:56:43 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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My looks are part of my genetic heritage---I am pretty much an ugly duckling, too!  My intelligence was nurtured at an early age by my mom, and by teachers who had no clue what to do with a "gifted" child and left me alone to study what I liked.  I taught school in  a poor neighborhood, and the number of parents engaged in their child's education was small indeed.  Shoot, those kids were lucky they made it to school at all.  If a kid came up and said, "Mrs Teacher, I have a stomachache", the response was "Did you eat today?" not "WHAT did you eat."

You can't fix stupid.  Stupid can come from anywhere, and since stupid people THINK they are intelligent, they're a lost cause.  Smart people who are motivated and shown that there ARE resources, and how to find them, will get smarter.  When I was in high school, my math teacher said that a smart person could get as much out of a low-rent school as a good one, it was all a matter of digging out the knowledge. 

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 1:06:41 PM   
PanthersMom


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looks fade, a beautiful personality stays forever.  you could be the most butt-ugly person on earth, but if you have a heart of gold and make all those around you feel good, i think people will love you for that quality.  mother teresa was no raving beauty, but the world loved her.  it's alot easier to do on a smaller scale.  the fantasy Domme with the gorgeous figure and all that does exist, but what's inside?  i'm nothing special, but to cub i'm everything.
PM

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 1:08:04 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

looks fade, a beautiful personality stays forever.  you could be the most butt-ugly person on earth, but if you have a heart of gold and make all those around you feel good, i think people will love you for that quality.  mother teresa was no raving beauty, but the world loved her.  it's alot easier to do on a smaller scale.  the fantasy Domme with the gorgeous figure and all that does exist, but what's inside?  i'm nothing special, but to cub i'm everything.
PM


You're so smart! 

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 2:01:45 PM   
beargonewild


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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

You know Red I adore reading your posts. And I totally agree with you. I always worry about the word genetics its one step away from Eugenics. I am such a massive believer in social construction and I can think of very few things that are not socially constructed. Beauty/Intelligence/Race/Gender etc are all socially constructed, when we discuss genetics it instantly creates the massive red light screaming 'normal' and that really worries me.

There is nothing wrong with preferance in the type of person that you think you would like to be with, that is fine but its the over arching statements that are deeply concerning.


I just have to say this colouredin.....genetically speaking.......ok I'm a bad bear! 


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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 3:50:18 PM   
CatdeMedici


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I don't even bother with those---most of the time they are looking for the trophy DominATRICKS, hot in public and she twinks his winkie in the bedroom---isn't that just too cute.
 
 
 
 
 
 

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 4:36:43 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

My looks are part of my genetic heritage---I am pretty much an ugly duckling, too!  My intelligence was nurtured at an early age by my mom, and by teachers who had no clue what to do with a "gifted" child and left me alone to study what I liked.  I taught school in  a poor neighborhood, and the number of parents engaged in their child's education was small indeed.  Shoot, those kids were lucky they made it to school at all.  If a kid came up and said, "Mrs Teacher, I have a stomachache", the response was "Did you eat today?" not "WHAT did you eat."

You can't fix stupid.  Stupid can come from anywhere, and since stupid people THINK they are intelligent, they're a lost cause.  Smart people who are motivated and shown that there ARE resources, and how to find them, will get smarter.  When I was in high school, my math teacher said that a smart person could get as much out of a low-rent school as a good one, it was all a matter of digging out the knowledge. 




I had almost exactly the same experiences.  I lived in a small, rural community.  Rural enough that we had Amish people living just down the road from my house.  It was a huge deal when the school got ONE computer, which we had to take turns learning to use on library day.  There was no such thing as a "gifted program."  We barely had enough money in the school to have books for all the students.  And yet, I begged my mother read the encyclopedia to me as a bedtime story and taught myself to read at the age of four.  Intelligence is largely genetic; it's how one learns to put that intelligence to use that comes from economic and cultural background. 
 
And I'm definitely the ugly duckling.  No one will *ever* mistake me for "gorgeous."

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 5:09:59 PM   
LookieNoNookie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

What are they supposed to say?  "I want an ugly domme who is so unattractive she requires a paperbag pulled over her head"?


That's what I'm looking for....enough of these good looking people.

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 5:12:56 PM   
LookieNoNookie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Katy, of course not.  *snort*  These men are in the same class as those who want only 20 yr old submissives who are size 4 and 34DD.  They are focused on the picture in their head, and not the PERSON.

Intellectual, I look for intelligent men myself.  I don't think it's shallow to seek intelligence---or anything else, truly---because intelligence is a thing that stays with you and grows.   An intelligent person enhances his or her companions.  (at least I would like to think so)  Beauty is transitory. 

It's true that beauty and intelligence are subjective things, but the real issue that I have with the fantasists is that they are not looking for a compatible human being, they are looking for a customized toy.    We all have an array of needs, and not all of them are "worthy" necessarily---I need a masochist, and I know that I would never be 100% satisfied in a relationship with a pain-phobic.  The foot fetishist has his needs, and he wouldn't be 100% satisfied with me, who would only indulge his desires, but never really share them. 

I want a real man, not a shell.  It would be lovely if those men who write saying that they would love to submit to me really MEANT it, but they don't.  I point out kindly that they don't even know me, how could they make such a claim?  More often than not, I don't get a response.


Well, considering that you are both intelligent AND gorgeous....the man who is first enamoured by you....for your beauty.....will just have to live with the fact that he gets a two-fer in the process.

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 5:21:40 PM   
MsFlutter


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I don't even bother with those---most of the time they are looking for the trophy DominATRICKS, hot in public and she twinks his winkie in the bedroom---isn't that just too cute.



Ooooooooooo - DominATRICKS - I LIKE that !!

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RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 6:19:05 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Katy, of course not.  *snort*  These men are in the same class as those who want only 20 yr old submissives who are size 4 and 34DD.  They are focused on the picture in their head, and not the PERSON.

Intellectual, I look for intelligent men myself.  I don't think it's shallow to seek intelligence---or anything else, truly---because intelligence is a thing that stays with you and grows.   An intelligent person enhances his or her companions.  (at least I would like to think so)  Beauty is transitory. 

It's true that beauty and intelligence are subjective things, but the real issue that I have with the fantasists is that they are not looking for a compatible human being, they are looking for a customized toy.    We all have an array of needs, and not all of them are "worthy" necessarily---I need a masochist, and I know that I would never be 100% satisfied in a relationship with a pain-phobic.  The foot fetishist has his needs, and he wouldn't be 100% satisfied with me, who would only indulge his desires, but never really share them. 

I want a real man, not a shell.  It would be lovely if those men who write saying that they would love to submit to me really MEANT it, but they don't.  I point out kindly that they don't even know me, how could they make such a claim?  More often than not, I don't get a response.


Well, considering that you are both intelligent AND gorgeous....the man who is first enamoured by you....for your beauty.....will just have to live with the fact that he gets a two-fer in the process.



Suck up!

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(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: "Wanted: Gorgeous/Beautiful Domme" - 1/25/2009 6:20:28 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
  
<snippage for space> 
And I'm definitely the ugly duckling.  No one will *ever* mistake me for "gorgeous."


Hey!  I do NOT make mistakes!  Or at least that's the story I'm pushing, so get with the program fellow gorgeous one! 

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(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 40
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