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Diaries - 1/25/2009 10:51:56 AM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline 		I think this is an old one, but I laugh whenever I read it:

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary...


8:00 am - Dog food!  My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride!  My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park!  My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted!  My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch!  My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail!  My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones!  My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball!  My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow!  Watched TV with the people!  My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed!  My favorite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Diary.  ----------



Day 983 of my captivity.  My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.  Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.  Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage..

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges.  He is regularly released ---  and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.   .... For now ...

yours



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May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.
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RE: Diaries - 1/25/2009 8:50:38 PM   
kittengirl8


Posts: 120
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline 		*laughs* I wonder if that's what my cats are really thinking. I really do.

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RE: Diaries - 1/25/2009 8:57:10 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		This is what dogs and cats think:

A Dogs Thought:

They Feed Me, they Love me, they pet me, they clean up my poop..... They must be GOD!

A Cats Thought:

They Feed Me, they Love me, they pet me, they clean up my poop..... I MUST BE GOD!!!!

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RE: Diaries - 1/25/2009 9:13:01 PM   
kittengirl8


Posts: 120
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline 		I think you've got it there, Steel. I'm not sure why people think cats aren't brilliant. They lie around, sleep, eat, use the litter box, and repeat the process throughout the day. We have to work, feed them, clean up after them and whatnot. Clearly they are the ones that have enslaved humanity. Hellooo! ;) We are merely here to serve the almighty Kitty Cat.

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RE: Diaries - 1/25/2009 9:17:27 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Yet more proof that the world is ruled by the power of pussy.

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"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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RE: Diaries - 1/27/2009 6:14:56 AM   
MissEnchanted


Posts: 510
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Yet more proof that the world is ruled by the power of pussy.


!

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RE: Diaries - 1/27/2009 7:34:33 AM   
FourQ


Posts: 1370
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittengirl8

I think you've got it there, Steel. I'm not sure why people think cats aren't brilliant. They lie around, sleep, eat, use the litter box, and repeat the process throughout the day. We have to work, feed them, clean up after them and whatnot. Clearly they are the ones that have enslaved humanity. Hellooo! ;) We are merely here to serve the almighty Kitty Cat.


Meh, my two year old Um has it better than that.
I wash him, change his washed and ironed clothes, feed him, change his nappy, play with him, take him for walks, bathe him, keep him safe and put him to bed.  Some f'kin Dom I turned out to be eh?


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RE: Diaries - 1/27/2009 10:46:38 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		There is a reason all male children are called Master until they get Married.

Steel

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Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

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RE: Diaries - 1/27/2009 11:55:12 AM   
FourQ


Posts: 1370
Status: offline 		Touche!

That hadn't occurred to me.


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RE: Diaries - 1/27/2009 12:06:32 PM   
VeryNastyDom


Posts: 403
Joined: 9/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

There is a reason all male children are called Master after they get Married.


There, fixed it for ya.

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