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Switch outside of D/s - Sensual - 1/28/2009 12:06:26 AM

kiyari

Posts: 631
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I have defined as 'Switch', but have no interest in 'Power Exchange'.

BDSM is not D/s or M/s exclusively, although forum members do appear far and away to be one or another of the aforementioned.

I define myself as more of an equal opportunity (perhaps more inclined to bottoming, granted) sensual libertine.

Topping and Bottoming are valid components of "BDSM".

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RE: Switch outside of D/s - Sensual - 1/28/2009 12:44:34 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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Any one of us that takes/gives pain and any one of us that takes/gives control are within this lifestyle. There are no set rules, no manual to follow. We will always have experts that know better, we will always find the thought police that will ridicule and we will always find people that have truly come to terms with this lifestyle and can honestly say 'you know what? if your happy and its working for you then not a man standing can knock you for it'.

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RE: Switch outside of D/s - Sensual - 1/28/2009 1:28:50 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
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From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiyari

Topping and Bottoming are valid components of "BDSM".

In my world, topping and bottoming are the 'only' components of BDSM. M/s and D/s are completely different animals and needn't have anything, at all, to do with BDSM.

They do make for wonderful bedfellows though!

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Switch outside of D/s - Sensual - 1/28/2009 10:12:51 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiyari

I have defined as 'Switch', but have no interest in 'Power Exchange'.

BDSM is not D/s or M/s exclusively, although forum members do appear far and away to be one or another of the aforementioned.

I define myself as more of an equal opportunity (perhaps more inclined to bottoming, granted) sensual libertine.

Topping and Bottoming are valid components of "BDSM".

I agree with you. Some D/s adherents complain so much about submissives who don't fit their mold that it's pretty clear they consider other BDSM aspects to be less valid than theirs. I think they should be reminded that they are relative latecomers to the BDSM umbrella. BDSM originally stood for "Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism". Expanding the two middle letters to represent "Dominance/submission" came later, yet some of the D/s-ers seem to think they are more "true" or "pure".

D/s is no more or no less valid than B&D or S&M. Top/bottom is no better or worse than Dominant/submissive. But you wouldn't know that from reading most of the posts here.

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RE: Switch outside of D/s - Sensual - 1/28/2009 10:16:35 AM

hardbodysub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiyari

Topping and Bottoming are valid components of "BDSM".

In my world, topping and bottoming are the 'only' components of BDSM. M/s and D/s are completely different animals and needn't have anything, at all, to do with BDSM.

They do make for wonderful bedfellows though!

I tend to agree with you that D/s is a different animal. The confusion comes from the fact that most D/s relationships also include some B&D or S&M, so everything tends to get crowded under the same umbrella. The umbrella has grown so large that nobody knows what someone means when they say "BDSM" anymore.

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RE: Switch outside of D/s - Sensual - 1/28/2009 8:25:14 PM

kiyari

Posts: 631
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Power Exchange aficiandos seem to constitute, by and large, the bulk of Forums' posters.

"Switch" as a self-identifier, is interpreted in this same context.

It is, IMO, a bad match, for a sensualist to involve with a "power exchange" personality.

Could be ok on an occasional basis, as 'play partners',
but there be no potential for growth, nor (on the face of it) any viable relationship.

Ya, my perspective.

I like a good spank, for example. ("Good" defined between the 'participants')

Spare me the role-play, the panties bit, the corner time.
Don't pretend it as punishment, such that I need "mis-behave",
nor deny me it if you know that is what I crave.

Now, impose upon me,
something you are well aware that I am not amenable to...
well, expect to be the recipient of some unpleasant surprise, yourself!

< Message edited by kiyari -- 1/28/2009 8:36:30 PM >

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RE: Switch outside of D/s - Sensual - 1/28/2009 10:47:40 PM

hardbodysub

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quote:

ower Exchange aficiandos seem to constitute, by and large, the bulk of Forums' posters.

I'd certainly have to agree with you there. And I think the attitudes some of them display discourage others, particularly newbies, from posting.

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RE: Switch outside of D/s - Sensual - 1/31/2009 9:59:29 PM

kiyari

Posts: 631
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Well, I do confess,
as to casting a jaded eye upon posts ORIGINATED BY single-digited vanilla cones.
[This confession in re: scaring or trouncing newbies to forums, in reply to hardbodysub]

Betimes for good reason (trollish posts).
~~~

"Switches" are, within Power Exchange dynamics, "confused" (don't know themselves) at Best.
"Switches" thusly interpreted, as vs folkses identifing as Dom/sub/slave in some amalgam.

Coz... we ain't into the abdication of... [best not to go any further, methinks]

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RE: Switch outside of D/s - Sensual - 2/1/2009 6:04:14 AM

freebird57

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Joined: 8/19/2008
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I am able to be a switch with the right woman,but I am at heart a true submissive. I am owned by my hubby/Master and I find it harder and harder to be a true switch anymore.I would rather have him tell me what to do with another woman,I find more pleasure in it. Thanks for opening my eyes to what I really am....t

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RE: Switch outside of D/s - Sensual - 2/1/2009 12:33:12 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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I'm a D/s switch as well as a sensual switch, but the vast majority of people just don't push my buttons for either dominance or submission. In general, I'm more interested in basic compatibility with a kinky boyfriend, regardless of whether he is Dom, sub, top, bottom, or switch. However, if I do find that we interact on that level, wonderful! I don't think I could be with a Dom or a sub unless I did feel that connection/reaction, though - it's too likely that they would feel that too much was missing, and I'm definitely not willing to fake it, or call myself someone's sub or Domme if I don't really feel that way about them.

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