Is there ever a preference for an inexperienced Master? (Full Version)

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Leathersandals -> Is there ever a preference for an inexperienced Master? (1/30/2009 4:39:27 PM)

Hey everyone, I'm new to the site.

I've always been the dominant one in a relationship, but I've never really owned anyone or done any of the formal BDSM stuff that would be lead me to be described as "experienced"

I decided to join collarme after I had quick romp with girl who told me she liked being a slave and wanted to try it out with me. It was short lived, (had to leave the country) but to make a long story short I enjoyed it immensely.

Now here's the problem, it seems like most slaves are looking for "an experience master to show me the ropes". Is there a fast track academy to become experienced, or should I just keep looking for the few who are OK with an inexperienced master? I don't want to be dishonest when I'm approached but I feel like its narrowing my odds quite a bit.

Thanks.




SirMIkeSD -> RE: Is there ever a preference for an inexperienced Master? (1/30/2009 4:46:59 PM)

Join your local groups and see if you can find a mentor that will help you gain that experience. In the process you may even find a slave that wants to "grow" with you.

Mike



califsue -> RE: Is there ever a preference for an inexperienced Master? (1/30/2009 5:10:11 PM)

I second what SirMike says. Joinging local groups, attending parties, and since you are in California you
are in a prime location for munches and other BDSM related activities. You might join Fetlife as well and
just keep learning and growing. You are young enough that you might someone who wants to join you
on your journey as your sub/slave and learn with you.



chamberqueen -> RE: Is there ever a preference for an inexperienced Master? (1/30/2009 5:48:08 PM)

Reading good books on the subject also helps.  Focus your attention on the things that you like most.  If you want to try out something like a flogger on a sub try it on yourself first, or have someone else try it out on you, so that you have an idea of what you will be putting her through.  Learn basic first aid and study up on the safety of each act that you might want to try.  As a Domme I read, interviewed people, and attended munches for a year before trying a session.  I was never asked by the men how long I had been a Domme and they just assumed from my confidence and experience that I had been at it for a long time.

One main focus for a new Dom is not to be wishy washy.  I am now a slave, and one of my tasks is to train a new Dom.  He will say things like, "if you want", or "if you feel like it".  I will tell him that I need a command before I will follow it. 

Remember that gaining someone's trust takes time and they need to know that you care for them to some extent even if you are meeting for only one session.  Romance doesn't need to be involved, but caring enough for them to make sure that they are safe and get some fulfillment from the session does.

Being inexperienced don't forget to talk about safe words.  The first thing I would do during a session is to have my sub strip and do a physical examination of them looking for any bruises or cuts.  I would ask them to tell me if they had any ailments that I should know about, and review the safe words with them.  (I used yellow light and red light for ease of remembering.)  Any toy that was new to them I would explain and tell them that they only got the explanation once so they needed to pay close attention.  I would review with them what they had told me that they wanted from a session, tell them ideas that I had on top of that, and make sure that they were comfortable.  You can drop some of these things once you become more experienced but it is a good way to start.





littlewonder -> RE: Is there ever a preference for an inexperienced Master? (1/30/2009 7:43:29 PM)

Search for someone that you connect with on a human being level, not on a title level.

Everything else will fall into place.



SirMIkeSD -> RE: Is there ever a preference for an inexperienced Master? (1/30/2009 7:55:17 PM)

I see you are in San Diego, there is a group on Fetlife for San Diego and Club-x (http://www.clubxsd.org/) is gateway pan-sexual group that is very active in the area with monthly workshop, meetings, socials, play parties, etc. There are many great people in the group, there is also a local group for younger people gen x or something like that I am too old so don't know the details on that, but once you get out in the community many of the members are also Club-X members.

If you have any questions, message me.
Mike



Leathersandals -> RE: Is there ever a preference for an inexperienced Master? (1/30/2009 8:32:18 PM)

Thanks for the responses so far.

To be honest, I don't see myself joining "the scene" at this point, for both personal and professional reasons. Perhaps in the future. It is good to know there are these types of clubs in the area if I do decide to go. Thanks for the heads up mike.

Maybe I'm just trying a bit too hard, and I should try what littlewonder suggested. It's how I found myself in my first experience.  I think I might have been a bit put off by the need for an "experienced master" in some of the profiles.

I can see myself starting out with someone who is vanilla during everyday life, and kinky behind closed doors. Eventually moving into more extreme territory.

Thanks guys.







Focus50 -> RE: Is there ever a preference for an inexperienced Master? (1/30/2009 8:38:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Search for someone that you connect with on a human being level, not on a title level.

Everything else will fall into place.

And there it is - bullseye!
 
If you're actually seeking a mature relationship that embraces a D or M/s dynamic, it'll work a whole bunch smoother if there's mutual connection and chemistry at *all* levels between both of you.  There is no Master or slave for much of the everyday life most of us lead - just another couple trying to make your personal relationship work but with the specific differences mostly kept private (depending on the couple)....
 
OTH, if you're looking for a chunk of meat to accommodate your dick or whim whenever the mood strikes you, expect to hit exponentially more barriers and pitfalls in your "search".  The average sub will give an inexperienced dom/me a chance if you at least present as human and grounded moreso than a posturing arsehole....
 
Focus.



Lordandmaster -> RE: Is there ever a preference for an inexperienced Master? (1/30/2009 9:07:41 PM)

 I would gladly pretend to be inexperienced if there's someone who prefers that...



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