RE: a little bird in a blizzard

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: a little bird in a blizzard

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RE: a little bird in a blizzard - 2/7/2009 9:00:42 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilah333

Ah,,but life is so empty without an owner and a collar!

It's understandable that you feel this way right now. You are in the midst of a grieving process.

My mother once told me something that has rung true for me as I've aged and matured. She said "You are ready to enter a new relationship when you are perfectly happy being single. Then you know you're entering it for the right reasons". I honestly think there is a grain of truth in that.

Juliet basically otherwise said everything that needed to be said. It's a brilliant post and I hope you take her advice to heart.

Good luck and best wishes.

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Post #: 41

RE: a little bird in a blizzard - 2/7/2009 4:22:57 PM

MyWorldCT

Posts: 98
Joined: 1/23/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilah333

Ah,,but life is so empty without an owner and a collar!

As everyone else.. I pick this to quote... however, you did ask a Master, so here it goes....

If it was not meant to be, then it was not meant to be. Yes, you will go through the stages of grief (Kubler-Ross.. google her.. it is very enlightening when you are within those stages.

If he has decided to move on, then you must move on. I am sure you have had other relationships (both BDSM or Vanilla) and you are still here. I know the pain of loss, but do not let it overtake me. You should not either.

This may sound cold and lacking sympathy, but it is pain and it is part of life. Grieve, get your "life" back in order, find a job, find friends in RL, and move on. Some men are idiots, so get over him and find one who is not.

I am sorry you feel this way, but be bigger than your "issues" and pain, don't let them win.

You were selected to be someone's slave once, and will be again. Do NOT walk backwards in life, keep looking at the road ahead.

Chin Up! Eyes Front! Smile! Walk Forward!

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Post #: 42

RE: a little bird in a blizzard - 2/7/2009 10:32:37 PM

sintyl

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/28/2009
Status: offline

When you think of your previous owner, remember to think of yourself too.

Without you, he could not be who he is. But without yourself to rely on, where do you stand?

Remember who you are. Concentrate on the little things that make you happy. Fight the small battles in life to make things better. Like concentrating on your future job. That's a small battle you can take on as a task every day for a few hours, making phone calls, preparing letters, etc. Long term, a job will make you more stable and happy until you find another master. Short term, it will give you the tasks you need to help you fade the memories of recent past.

You can use other tasks, I'm just picking one to focus on as an example. I wish you the best and happiness.

she told me that late
one autumn day
when she was at her lowest,
she watched a squirrel
storing up nuts for the winter
one at a time

he would take them to the nest
and she thought if that squirrel
can take care of himself
with the harsh winter coming on so can i.

once i broke my problems into small pieces
i was able to carry them,
just like those acorns,
one at a time.

Take all your problems
and rip ‘em apart

Carry them off
in a shopping cart
and another thing you
should’ve known from the start
the problems in hand
are lighter than at heart

be like the squirrel, girl

White Stripes - Little Acorns.

< Message edited by sintyl -- 2/7/2009 10:37:10 PM >

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Post #: 43

RE: a little bird in a blizzard - 2/24/2009 4:29:27 PM

lilah333

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/1/2009
Status: offline

Well, I thought I would send in an update since I almost died from this broken heart.

Things have gotten easier and better for me. I did meet a new person, but going very slowly. I still cry every day and wonder what went wrong. I did send him a brief e-mail asking to sort it out and to give it another chance. I didn't hear back.

I try not to think about it too much and little by little move away from his ownership. I still miss him very very much.

The things that helped me the most were doing the total opposite of the assigned tasks. That was great advice.

I also keep busy with my life and friends.

Thank you all for the love and help!

~L

_____________________________

Buy the ticket take the Ride

-Hunter S. Thompson

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Post #: 44

RE: a little bird in a blizzard - 2/25/2009 3:10:50 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

Just a question lilah, if you are still crying everyday and that messed up still, do you think it is fair to be getting involved with someone new already??

The only reason I ask is that I found from personal experience, is that if you are still that distraught over losing someone, you can't give the new person an honest chance for the main part of you heart and mind are still on the person from the past.

I tried to get back on the horse to soon so to speak and I realize looking back it was extremely unfair to the 2 guys I tried it with. I really had absolutely no desire to be with someone other then the person that was always on my mind.

Think about where your head and heart space is still before getting someones hopes up just so you can say. "Oh crap, I'm sorry but I'm really not ready yet"

Good luck

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Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

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Post #: 45

RE: a little bird in a blizzard - 2/25/2009 3:19:40 PM

DavanKael

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Joined: 10/6/2007
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akisha raises a really good point.
Op: Almost died? Really?! Okay, every time I've seen the title of this thread it irks me; strikes me as such victim-driven melodrama and now you almost died from the relational loss and, though you are with another, you still cry everyday?!
Counseling. Yes, counseling with a counselor who can tolerate reeeeeeeallllllllllllly dramatic clients.
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 2/25/2009 3:38:32 PM >

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May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

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Post #: 46