Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed)

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Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/13/2006 12:31:15 AM

Posts: 231
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: New England
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So.. i was reading this other topic: are You uncomfortable using racial humiliation?
Or rather, i was reading it again. It's an old topic but it was revived. And... in reading and responding to it again, it made me wonder....

If you are fat (if you do not struggle with weight issues responding doesn't exactly make sense) do you like being humiliated about that?

Do you like being called a "Fat Cow".. or a "Filthy Pig" or a "Hungry hungry Hippo" or a "Elephant Slut" or "Jumbo" or "Shamu" or... something like that...? Does it turn you on for your partner to call you that? What if your partner is physically fit? If they are physically in great shape... have a Hollywood body.... would you still feel comfortable with them insulting your weight during a "sexual" scene...?

How would you keep from letting the real life hurt of being treated bad go away during the scene? i mean... surely if you go to a restaurant and you're overweight... and perhaps your treated badly.... maybe given some "back booth" area even when you ask to sit at some window seat... or maybe you were mistreated in clothing stores.... and having to generally deal with unpleasantness directed at you (occasionally - or frequently) about your weight... Or if as a child you were harshly teased.....

how, once you were in private with your partner... would you be "okay" with them humiliating you about your weight or body...?

How would you seperate those "bad feelings you feel when strangers in public are jerks to you because of your weight" from "me and my partner are just playing".... ...? (sorry that's worded poorly)

How would you keep yourself from worrying about how they really saw you...? Surely you wouldn't want to be with someone who really thought of fat people as "lardos" or "porkers" or whatever... right?

Like i said in the other topic.. i admit.. i am very emotionally sensitive about a lot of things... so i can't even imagine someone directly humiliating me about some physical part of my body... ....but.. really i'm trying to understand.. though perhaps poorly (sorry i'm a slow learner - and i really don't have much experience with BDSM).

As an aside.. i don't think fat people are mean-things. i struggle with some weight issues too.. so please no one think i'm a jerk... just.. i was trying to give examples... that's all.

< Message edited by ragdoll -- 1/13/2006 12:34:27 AM >

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/13/2006 2:50:34 AM

Posts: 112
Joined: 9/30/2005
Status: offline

Hi ragdoll

My Dom is not into verbal humiliation even if He tried, He is not into it and i do understand

. He knows me and the fact whenever get called some names, i go berserk on the person calling me names......I am extremely sensitive about my weight and body.

ropesubby

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/13/2006 4:42:40 AM

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Joined: 11/7/2004
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My Master personally would never humiliate me in a way that would cause emotional harm.

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/13/2006 5:02:26 AM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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My first thought was that if it's 'in the scene' it's not something that is necessarilly meant, so, you shouldn't take it personally.

My second thought was if this is something you are sensitive about, and could seriously be hurt over, then, it never should have been/ or be/ used in the first place (or again.)

Lots here don't mind being called (the naughty s-word) but, generally, they already KNOW they are NOT, and the domly type does too.

But, to bring up something that hurts you like that, (imo) in the place and context that it was, is wrong.

I would let him/her know, and, if it happened again, I would seriously re-evaluate the situation.

hugs,

Christina

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/13/2006 5:16:52 AM

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i think this is a great question ragdoll. i've always wondered about the humiliation kink.

i can't help but to think that it's just GOT to be damaging. i'm hoping i'm wrong though. i'm hoping it's somehow liberating for the submissive. like a play rape scene ... i can see how that might be empowering for a submissive to know that she is doing this willingly, that it excites and pleases her, and that ultimately she can stop the scene if need be.

and for some reason ... i've noticed that humilation is more a kink with male subs. i wonder why that is.

personally, i am very turned off by any form of humilation. i'm just too sensitive for that. i like to be and feel humbled by a Master and by that i mean ... kneeling, serving, being called sexually taboo nic names (slut, etc.), and generally, being dominated ... anything that makes clear our positions in the relationship. but anything past that, to me, feels mean and abusive.

i hope that the submissives who enjoy and get something out of being humiliated do respond to this thread. inquiring minds want to know.

humbly,
sunshine

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/13/2006 6:12:38 AM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ragdoll
If you are fat (if you do not struggle with weight issues responding doesn't exactly make sense) do you like being humiliated about that?

The same way I like being humiliated by anything- I love it and hate it :)

It's actually hard to humiliate me over my weight...which is why it's so intense when someone actually manages.

quote:

Do you like being called a "Fat Cow".. or a "Filthy Pig" or a "Hungry hungry Hippo" or a "Elephant Slut" or "Jumbo" or "Shamu" or... something like that...? Does it turn you on for your partner to call you that?

No that would just make me laugh.

quote:

What if your partner is physically fit? If they are physically in great shape... have a Hollywood body.... would you still feel comfortable with them insulting your weight during a "sexual" scene...?

That makes it even BETTER.

quote:

How would you keep from letting the real life hurt of being treated bad go away during the scene?

Scene space is not rational space. I would understand that I was being taken on a mindfuck, I would be reassured and "brought back to reality" afterwards.

quote:

i mean... surely if you go to a restaurant and you're overweight... and perhaps your treated badly.... maybe given some "back booth" area even when you ask to sit at some window seat... or maybe you were mistreated in clothing stores.... and having to generally deal with unpleasantness directed at you (occasionally - or frequently) about your weight... Or if as a child you were harshly teased.....

I was harshly teased as a kid. But I love humiliation. All of your ideas, if done in certain ways, would work me up fabulous. If done in other ways, would bore me to tears. And if done in other ways would just piss me off.

how, once you were in private with your partner... would you be "okay" with them humiliating you about your weight or body...?

quote:

How would you seperate those "bad feelings you feel when strangers in public are jerks to you because of your weight" from "me and my partner are just playing".... ...? (sorry that's worded poorly)

Hmm first off, this would rarely happen. People much prefer to mind their own business. The ones who ARE jerks would either add to the humiliation or just be ridiculous because I would know they have no clue and no authority over me.

quote:

How would you keep yourself from worrying about how they really saw you...? Surely you wouldn't want to be with someone who really thought of fat people as "lardos" or "porkers" or whatever... right?

I would do that by knowing the reason we got into the relationship had nothing to do with what goes on in a humiliation scene, and time and trust.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 1/13/2006 6:15:16 AM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/13/2006 6:43:56 AM

Posts: 231
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: New England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshine333

i think this is a great question ragdoll. i've always wondered about the humiliation kink.

i can't help but to think that it's just GOT to be damaging. i'm hoping i'm wrong though. i'm hoping it's somehow liberating for the submissive. like a play rape scene ... i can see how that might be empowering for a submissive to know that she is doing this willingly, that it excites and pleases her, and that ultimately she can stop the scene if need be.

...well.. i can understand some humiliation.. i just don't understand what i guess i'd call "humiliation about real things".. or "true humiliation".. like... someone calling me a slut or something... it wouldn't "hurt my feelings" in a -true- way -every- because there isn't any part of me that worries that i really am a slut. So i can kind of safely "play along" with that...

but in areas where real and true "insecurity" exists.. i can't even begin to fathom how someone can find something pleasureable that they might have an "insecurity" about out in day to day life.... and i guess that's the kinda humiliation i can't quite grasp...

Althouuuuuuuuugh... the response of LuckyAlbatross helps...

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

What if your partner is physically fit? If they are physically in great shape... have a Hollywood body.... would you still feel comfortable with them insulting your weight during a "sexual" scene...?

That makes it even BETTER.

quote:

How would you keep from letting the real life hurt of being treated bad go away during the scene?

Scene space is not rational space. I would understand that I was being taken on a mindfuck, I would be reassured and "brought back to reality" afterwards.

thanks for your entire response.. i always enjoy the way you answer questions (and feel in-awe because we are basically the same biological age... but you are clearly far more experienced and knowing than i am about all of these things..... and i guess it's encouraging to read your words.... :)

....can i ask you something else...?
What if the person didn't "bring you back to reality" after? or.... would that never happen...? i mean... in most humiliation scenes.. or play times.. (or whatever the proper word is) ...is it normal for the dominant person.. or the person doing the humiliating to help bring the one who was humiliated back to a good mindspace afterwards...?

...i guess... i my head i didn't actually think of that either. i mean.. i just kind of assumed the humiliated person was sorta... left in "limbo" in that humiliated headspace and stuff....

< Message edited by ragdoll -- 1/13/2006 6:44:21 AM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/13/2006 6:53:19 AM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ragdoll
thanks for your entire response.. i always enjoy the way you answer questions (and feel in-awe because we are basically the same biological age... but you are clearly far more experienced and knowing than i am about all of these things..... and i guess it's encouraging to read your words.... :)

Aww thanks, trust me in many ways I'm just as average and ordinary as any nearly 26-yo-chica. You are the one asking the very good questions. I wouldn't have good answers without them.

quote:

What if the person didn't "bring you back to reality" after? or.... would that never happen...? i mean... in most humiliation scenes.. or play times.. (or whatever the proper word is) ...is it normal for the dominant person.. or the person doing the humiliating to help bring the one who was humiliated back to a good mindspace afterwards...?

I feel it's good to have closure to humiliation scenes, even if they are done in vanilla settings. It can be nothing more than a soft smile, hug and "good girl" to signal that it's ok to relax again.

However, I have had a few humliation scenes that were fully in reality. They were harsh. They were sadistic. I didn't enjoy it at all and I did not go into a good mindspace afterwards. But that's what they wanted. I got over it myself by knowing that the relationship was strong and that the reason we got into it was not because of the humiliation. It takes a good sense of perspective.

quote:

...i guess... i my head i didn't actually think of that either. i mean.. i just kind of assumed the humiliated person was sorta... left in "limbo" in that humiliated headspace and stuff....

Someone who is good at it can put you in that limbo and make you dance along the line, anywhere anytime. And then they can plop you down on either side of the line as they wish.

But generally, unless the person is being sadistic or extremely clumsy and stupid, there should be aftercare and secure connectivity, just as there is after ANY edge play.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/13/2006 1:52:00 PM

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my weight yo yos up and down and i am very senestive about it. At this particular point i am at the heavier side but losing it again (10lbs so far). If someone says something about my weight it reallt bothers me. That is one of the fastest ways to drop me out of subspace. I don't have a master currently but i am not losing the weight to find one i am losing because i want to. So to abuse me because of my weight In MY and only MY case is a very cruel thing to do even in scene.

littleone

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/13/2006 3:11:09 PM

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Joined: 3/6/2005
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Humiliation, like everything suits some people and not others. I feel very much like sunshine on the topic. I usually make it clear to my partners that humiliation is not acceptable to me for many of the reasons outlined by others.

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/13/2006 4:39:52 PM

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I personally do not participate in verbal humiliation that attacks one's character or self esteem. I stay away from racial slurs, hwp references, cock sizes etc---I will use the word slut, boy, slave, whore--smiles, I just live the phrase, My manboyslutwhore

smiles

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/14/2006 2:31:56 PM

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Joined: 1/5/2004
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You know, there were a couple of interesting points here.

First, someone mentioned that some humiliation kinks seem more confined to male submissives, and i would have to agree that more men seem interested in this type of kink (at first look) then women. From my own personal experiences, male submissives often like rougher forms of humiliation. CBT, for example, is often tied into humiliation about the size of genitals; humiliation based on weight or fitness could be tied into general worthiness. A lot of men like to feel inferior to the women (or other men) they are submissive to, and things that follow along those lines tend to feed into those kinks. I think that that sort of humiliation play tends to fit in better with the more steroetypically male experience of the world (and again, i'm not at all trying to polarize anything based on gender, but just trying to voice some wandering thoughts).

But talking about more common humiliation kinks for women...it's still there. Being called a slut was a big thing for women until more recently, and i think in our culture (especially the BDSM culture) the word slut is actually kind of pretty now. It ties in with being sexy and responsive and heated and aware of your own body and unihibited and...there are other things too, like the idea that you're ultra easy, or that you'd have sex with lots and lots of people, but some of those thoughts go along with fantasies that women might have anyway, so in the bedroom, it's just pretty hot.

i personally know quite a few women (and men) who get very arroused by being humiliated about their arrousal over thoughts and situations.

But i guess i'm not really adding anything to the original topic. i would imagine that there are very few women who would be comfortable AND arroused with very aggressive humiliation based on their weight. Generally, women would either be very comfortable with their own weight and completely unnaffected by humiliation that plays off of it, or very sensitive about their weight and their body-image, and affected in a bad way by the humiliation. Society just isn't very kind to women in this regard.

If anyone (male or female or anything else) is into this sort of kink, could you describe what you like and why you think it affects you so much? That would probably be the most helpful thing to ask. i haven't seen anyone admit a real interest in it yet, so it might not be very common at all (especially among women).

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/14/2006 2:36:45 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Lots here don't mind being called (the naughty s-word) but, generally, they already KNOW they are NOT, and the domly type does too.

hugs,

Christina

naughty s-word?

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/14/2006 2:52:12 PM

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Joined: 12/4/2005
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I'm overweight. There, I said it. Admittance is the first step to recovery. :)

I'm really not overly sensitive about my weight. I feel comfortable with myself. In some ways I'm beautiful, in others I'm not.
That being said, I'd love to lose a few pounds. I'd prefer not to be overweight, but I am. I deal with it and move on.

Nonetheless. I am self concious at times. I prefer to wear a corset and some lacy little skirt to nothing. I like having sex in the dark. I wear one of those wrap around skirt thingies at the beach.
I'm well aware that I wouldn't be able to deal with someone I love and trust humiliating me about my weight. Honestly, I wouldn't know how to react. I'd ceratinly fall out of the mood, I'd get defensive, then angry. It's definately not a turn on, I don't understand the appeal.

Ps.
ehlovindom----------- "slut"

< Message edited by Lenina -- 1/14/2006 2:53:35 PM >

_____________________________

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."
-Jareth

(in reply to lilyophelia)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/14/2006 3:17:39 PM

miticantenslaved

Posts: 195
Joined: 12/28/2005
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quote:

Ps.
ehlovindom----------- "slut"

yes, what lenina said...lol!

personally, i am not into humiliation. *ponders sadly* the Witch will never allow that. call miti "Fat Cow" and in the next week, Someone will be sporting Moobies the size of Anna Nicoles...*smiles innocently*

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four. [Interesting Times]

~miti

_____________________________

~If that which you seek you do not find within, you will not find, without *D. Valiente*~

(in reply to ehlovindom)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/14/2006 6:57:57 PM

Arpig

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From: Increasingly further from reality
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verbal humiliation is something I need to work on, my sub enjoys it, however she does not enjoy humiliation of the "fat cow" variety. We kkep it to the "dirty slut" variety, humiliation aimed at how one behaves is far less likely to actually hurt than that aimed on how one is put together, especially since so many women are disatisfied with theior bodies, despite the fact that they all look basically wonderful

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to miticantenslaved)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/14/2006 7:02:19 PM

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Joined: 1/23/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: miticantenslaved

quote:

Ps.
ehlovindom----------- "slut"

yes, what lenina said...lol!

personally, i am not into humiliation. *ponders sadly* the Witch will never allow that. call miti "Fat Cow" and in the next week, Someone will be sporting Moobies the size of Anna Nicoles...*smiles innocently*

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four. [Interesting Times]

~miti

WHAT?

First slut and now Moobies?

Someone needs their mouth washed out with soap, or perhaps a nice intense spanking....

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to miticantenslaved)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/14/2006 7:18:04 PM

miticantenslaved

Posts: 195
Joined: 12/28/2005
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quote:

WHAT?

First slut and now Moobies?

Someone needs their mouth washed out with soap, or perhaps a nice intense spanking....

oh dear.

You obviously did not read miti's post in "Humour" titled..."Confessions of a Witch and slave"

make a particular note of item #6, i believe....roflmao

*blinks innocently*

"Modern," said Granny Weatherwax, with a sniff. "When I was a gel, we had a lump of wax and a couple of pins and had to be content. We had to make our own enchantment in them days."
"Ah, well, we've all passed a lot of water since then," said Nanny Ogg sagely. [Wyrd Sisters]

~miti (the always-innocent bystander)

_____________________________

~If that which you seek you do not find within, you will not find, without *D. Valiente*~

(in reply to ehlovindom)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/15/2006 12:25:51 AM

Posts: 198
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

If you are fat (if you do not struggle with weight issues responding doesn't exactly make sense) do you like being humiliated about that?

I am overweight....i love humiliation scenes.
There are times Master will call me "slut pig" during a humiliation scene.
Does it bother me....NOPE!
There are also times Master tells me that he is very glad that he has found the
perfect slave for him.

Peace,
cathy

_____________________________

Happiness is like peeing your pants: Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth
~Unknown

(in reply to ragdoll)

RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/15/2006 8:25:36 AM

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: miticantenslaved

quote:

WHAT?

First slut and now Moobies?

Someone needs their mouth washed out with soap, or perhaps a nice intense spanking....

oh dear.

You obviously did not read miti's post in "Humour" titled..."Confessions of a Witch and slave"

make a particular note of item #6, i believe....roflmao

*blinks innocently*

"Modern," said Granny Weatherwax, with a sniff. "When I was a gel, we had a lump of wax and a couple of pins and had to be content. We had to make our own enchantment in them days."
"Ah, well, we've all passed a lot of water since then," said Nanny Ogg sagely. [Wyrd Sisters]

~miti (the always-innocent bystander)

you are referring to this? http://www.collarchat.com/m_237533/tm.htm

quote:

6) Punishments: the Witch is NOT allowed to cause Master to quite strangely put down any Instrument of Punishment that He may have in His hand while looking at U/us. (miti shudders and will NOT discuss the Droopy Paddle spell)

Now why would you want Master to spank you strangely? Or do you mean have a strange Master spank you? Or have your Master spank a stranger?

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to miticantenslaved)

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