submissive or subservient (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

Anastasia25 -> submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 2:54:47 PM)

There is a vast difference in submissive and subservient. Anyone care to elaborate?

I speak to those who say they are shy and introverted around their Dom. Doesn't that qualify as being subservient?

And...does anyone care to elaborate on how their submissiveness builds confidence.



simpleplan2 -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 2:57:54 PM)

I've always had a lot of confidence so I don't feel the need to build it.  In fact, I have plenty to spare.  As far as submissive and subservient goes...well, subservient means excessively submissive, but that sounds subjective to me.



Anastasia25 -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:14:03 PM)

nothing wrong with excessively submissive...that qualifies as slave and is an honorable title to be earned...which doesn't mean you are your Master's doormat in the negative sense of the word.
there's a difference between Slavery and Slavehood. One is consensual, the other is not.



simpleplan2 -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:20:07 PM)

I didn't say there was.  I only mentioned that I think the term "excessively submissive" is subjective.  What I might think is excessive, someone else might think was just the right amount.  I don't get into labels much.  I think anyone can call him or herself whatever s/he wants.  If both parties agree and it makes them happy, it's all good.



CalifChick -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:25:51 PM)

I wonder if I should contribute something, or if this whole thread is going to get yanked anyway...

IMO, just as "domineering" and "dominant" both describe who is in charge, the words "subservient" and "submissive" both describe who is following.  In both cases, the first term describes a situation by force; the second term describes a situation by choice.  IMO.


Cali



simpleplan2 -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:28:16 PM)

Thanks Cali.  I was starting to get weirded out. :)



T1981 -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:30:03 PM)

Perhaps the topic can be salvaged.....though I can't answer for the submissive v.s subservient thing (I do imagine there is a difference. I haven't the slightest clue of what that might be.)

As for submissiveness and confidence? For me, being submissive can be a challenge at times. I'm talkative to a fault, so being quiet can be quite difficult. Anytime I manage that is a boon to my confidence, knowing that I did something that doesn't come to me easily. The same goes for enduring particular humiliations - it breaks down yet another wall of self-held control in my own soul, and the fact that I not only endured but got through it and pleased my husband also helps my confidence. That sort of thing.

EDIT: I'm wondering if this thread will get yanked, too...hmm.....



oceanwynds -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:31:08 PM)

Yes, wasn't sure about posting either here. I do agree with Califchick explanation.




Sundance879 -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:34:43 PM)

Hey! I'm learning a o lot about this new adventure... U have a hell of a lot of smarts, knowledge from where U speak. Thank U, John. Sundance...



oceanwynds -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:36:45 PM)

I was talking to a friend of mine a couple week back about my submissiveness. She mentioned how it can be empowering. I not sure in my case if was about confidence, but more of a peaceful feeling within me. I am at peace in serving most of the time. From that point, I feel very strong. It is from this point that I am able to serve others be it Sir or be it through my work. The best way to descibe what I feel is an overflowing cup of being me, which embarks on gratitude.



ALAstella -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:37:41 PM)

Perhaps the OP would care to elaborate first and reveal to all us desperate subbies another morsel of One Twue Wayism.

However I'm not holding my breath, seeing as the OP would rather insult others than elaborate.

I came into WIITWD to be myself. If I wanted to come up with one size fits all definitions and piss other people off, I would have become a parking enforcement officer.

However...

stella



oceanwynds -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:39:54 PM)

Anastasia
By the way thank you for starting this post.:)

oceanwynds



Anastasia25 -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:42:53 PM)

No problem. I don't say much, because I would rather know how you think. The question is open to your personal interpretation.
As Buddha said "to those who always speak, they only learn what they already know."



Anastasia25 -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:46:15 PM)

However, I will agree that submissiveness is empowering, namely that you are in a state of complete trust of self and another to be able to substitute your will with their own. And to be completely trusting, you have to have a certain degree of inner confidence.
Subservient would be that you are doing things for the other person because you have to, not because you get to.



feydeplume -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:47:05 PM)

And...does anyone care to elaborate on how their submissiveness builds confidence.

Well for one thing, I only have to worry about the opinion of one person so i don't get bogged down in worry about "will they like me or accept me" That makes for a kind of confidence.



Anastasia25 -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 3:59:43 PM)

How does submissiveness build confidence?
Lets see...
You are washing the floors, thinking..."will he notice? does he like it? omg, he doesn't notice...he doesn't care about me...I'm doomed etc. etc." = The submissive is focused on self and on gratification, where if I do A, I will get B.
so if the Master does not notice, the submissive's confidence in self will decrease. You can call that subservient.
Or

The other scenario would be, the submissive is washing the floors thinking, "Master will have a clean house and he will not have to wash the floors himself, so he has more time to relax." In the latter scenario, you are not focused on your own gratification, so you are not disappointed if he does not notice your work. And if he does, that will add to the confidence you already have.



feydeplume -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 4:11:22 PM)

subservient:
compliant and obedient to authority
implemental: serving or acting as a means or aid
slavish: abjectly submissive; characteristic of a slave or servant

Submissive:
inclined or willing to submit to orders or wishes of others or showing such inclination
one who submits; Meekly obedient or passive
slavish: abjectly submissive; characteristic of a slave or servant

I think the first definition of each gives more room for discussion. there is a marked difference between "inclined or willing to submit to orders or wishes of others" and "compliant and obedient to authority". 


Wait is this another way of having the doormat debate?




oceanwynds -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 4:12:20 PM)

quote:

Subservient would be that you are doing things for the other person because you have to, not because you get to.


it is in having to do x, y and z , that empowerment enters the picture. It is the purest form of doing. I am doing not because i get to, or i want to, or i dont want to, none of these play in to it. I am just doing.



Anastasia25 -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 4:13:06 PM)

Maybe..I haven't read that one.



Anastasia25 -> RE: submissive or subservient (2/2/2009 4:15:12 PM)

But you are doing with the well-being of the other in mind. And because he/she allows you to do those things for them, you get to do them.



Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.0625