RE: To dominate or submit? (Full Version)

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PAboipup -> RE: To dominate or submit? (4/1/2009 5:11:04 PM)

I submit only to Daddi C. Otherwise, I'm all Top.



ThoughtfulSwitch -> RE: To dominate or submit? (4/2/2009 1:10:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25

But lets see. I'm in love with my Dom, because I'm in love with the one I submit to. I can love a submissive, but i'm not in love with my subs.
Ever experience that?

I think that a possible reason is that sub is a bit like a pet you care for. My Mistress once told this to me and, as time passed by, I understood her.
They are beneath you and usually follow your commands like a well trained pet. You are in control and (after a while) you will know how their way to react on you as well as their deepest wishes. This is a very intimate relationship, but, as far as I half-baked switch can say, there are less secrets and challenges.

Your DOM/ME is usually more untouchable than your sub, more "mysterious". As you don't make the rules with him/her, there may be more challenges, more interesting things that you will never know. - And this is kinda base for love. To get to know a person step by step and to spend your time together without always knowing what happens next.

In short: With your DOM/ME it is less like playing with your pet, but exploring the unknown. And that's much more exiting.

Only my opinion; perhaps because I usually tend to submit. Especially to women, with men I tend to dominate.



Aneirin -> RE: To dominate or submit? (4/4/2009 4:28:11 AM)

My belief is that we are drawn to people for a reason, of all the people in the world we are drawn to very few. Now my understanding is that the people we are drawn to have something for us, they are there to enable us to learn. What one is with that person I believe to be a natural interaction, they may be dom, they may be sub, they may even be somewhere in between, but their interaction with oneself increases their knowledge and you yours.

My personal take on switching, is that I can be dom to one or some, and sub to another or others, and I keep the interaction on a person by person basis, not switch within a relationship. As I am a natural being, I prefer to allow nature to augment my interactions.



HalloweenWhite -> RE: To dominate or submit? (5/7/2009 4:43:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25

Which do you enjoy more to dominate or to submit? or both?



I expect M/most'll say they don't have any  real preferance, otherwise they wouldn't like doing both.



HalloweenWhite -> RE: To dominate or submit? (5/7/2009 4:53:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25

Which do you enjoy more to dominate or to submit? or both?



I expect M/most'll say they don't have any  real preferance, otherwise they wouldn't like doing both.


Now I've actually read the replies I realsie I was completely wrong-people do have preferances. Y/ypu lean something new everyday :).



sammears -> RE: To dominate or submit? (5/12/2009 8:12:07 AM)

I'm new to the switching thing, only because i've discovered more of a leaning towards domming!  but I have experienced subbing and enjoy it (still do) but find these days I'd like to be more in control and especially like the spanking part not had much expereince beyond that though!



sophia37 -> RE: To dominate or submit? (5/15/2009 7:13:59 PM)

I find Aneirin's post to be pretty compelling. "My belief is that we are drawn to people for a reason, of all the people in the world we are drawn to very few." My experience has been just that.

This part is something I need to keep in mind, "Now my understanding is that the people we are drawn to have something for us, they are there to enable us to learn." I think that too, is true. Altho like I said, that's a thought that's hard to keep in mind as we go thru life. But I can say that I have replied to people that what I value in them is that they teach me things just by them being them.

This part I think is also true but difficult to read by the way the poster wrote it. I notice myself being different with different people. So, "What one is with that person I believe to be a natural interaction, they may be dom, they may be sub, they may even be somewhere in between, but their interaction with oneself increases their knowledge and you yours."

And because of the way that person is, I become a certain way, when I am with that person. I like that really. Its a pleasure to become comfortable within yourself in different roles. Its a relief in lots of ways as well. Since with one person, you may have to dominate more than you like. Or with another you might submit more than is you. When you find someone where you can acheive a blance between both submission and dominance, then that's a relationship you find yourself cultivating for a long long time. 



azropedntied -> RE: To dominate or submit? (5/18/2009 11:54:23 AM)

Depending on what I need and who it is that is also near .in short YES to both as both are a part of me .



Goddess2002 -> RE: To dominate or submit? (5/19/2009 2:49:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

I find Aneirin's post to be pretty compelling. "My belief is that we are drawn to people for a reason, of all the people in the world we are drawn to very few." My experience has been just that.

This part is something I need to keep in mind, "Now my understanding is that the people we are drawn to have something for us, they are there to enable us to learn." I think that too, is true. Altho like I said, that's a thought that's hard to keep in mind as we go thru life. But I can say that I have replied to people that what I value in them is that they teach me things just by them being them.

This part I think is also true but difficult to read by the way the poster wrote it. I notice myself being different with different people. So, "What one is with that person I believe to be a natural interaction, they may be dom, they may be sub, they may even be somewhere in between, but their interaction with oneself increases their knowledge and you yours."

And because of the way that person is, I become a certain way, when I am with that person. I like that really. Its a pleasure to become comfortable within yourself in different roles. Its a relief in lots of ways as well. Since with one person, you may have to dominate more than you like. Or with another you might submit more than is you. When you find someone where you can acheive a blance between both submission and dominance, then that's a relationship you find yourself cultivating for a long long time. 


So true...there is one person on this planet I feel naturally submissive to...and I feel naturally dominant to everyone else. It's taking awhile to become fully comfortable with that,though....but as I do it's becoming a beautiful thing.



new4u2useLincNE -> RE: To dominate or submit? (5/24/2009 10:41:57 PM)

I'm new and have no experience, but I've always thought of myself as a Sub. Recently I was involved in some phone roleplay where I was the Dom and discovered that I really enjoyed it. But I think most of the time that I'd rather be the Sub.



AltIntelligence -> RE: To dominate or submit? (5/26/2009 9:05:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25

Which do you enjoy more to dominate or to submit? or both?



Totally depends on the person.  I find my domineering nature comes out more easily unless there is a Woman who grips me tightly.  Then She can squeeze me into submission.



danly -> RE: To dominate or submit? (5/29/2009 6:01:53 PM)

I really enjoy both.  I am intrigued by all the different types of switches there are out there.  When I first started reading posts here it seemed like switches who were submissive to one person but dominant with others or predominantly took on one role were the most common, but its good to see how many different types of switches there are out there.

I tend to be more dominant only because most girls I have encountered tend to be more submissive and more vanilla so I being dominant is about pushing their boundaries and trying things that they like but probably wouldn't have suggested, so in this way I can see where some switches would be dominant with some people and submissive to others based on their partners natural inclination.

The lack of time spent on the submissive side makes it all the more intriguing to me.  I have even thought about trying to find a mistress and becoming a full time submissive and going through some kind of training just to explore that aspect of it, but I think I would miss my dominant side.

I think my ideal situation would be to find someone where we took turns.  One of my favorite things to do now is to play games or make bets where the winner gets the loser for the night, but I like the back and forth.



Linc87 -> RE: To dominate or submit? (6/3/2009 1:44:04 PM)

Both. It typically depends on your mood though, your partner's mood, and your outgoing personalities stacked against each other. Also depends on what you have in store for your partner or vice versa - creativity is fun. 



Puc -> RE: To dominate or submit? (6/9/2009 1:32:07 AM)

Is it just me or are most of the replies leaning towards the submissive side? :-P

I prefer at the moment to submit to women and dominate men. I dont think I'd ever really enjoy submitting to men, though I would if my mistress required it. Regarding women, I enjoy both, but as I say, at the moment I prefer submitting.


Any particular reason for the question?

Puc



FlipFlip -> RE: To dominate or submit? (6/14/2009 3:04:56 AM)

From someone who has only just discovered BDSM i would consider myself a Switch with a heavy dom influence. 70/30 i think. As much as i like to dominate i still care about what my sub is feeling and i believe the ability to switch back and forth ends up in a awesome relation ship.

quote:

hardbodysub
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub


I lean heavily toward submissive, but it depends a lot on the other person. Her excitement and arousal creates mine. I would not enjoy being submissive to someone who didn't really get off on being dominant. I would not enjoy dominating a woman who really didn't like it.

i fully agree with this statement as well. Except i lean the other way. :-)



onlyfreelycaged -> RE: To dominate or submit? (6/14/2009 10:19:48 PM)

For me, it really depends on the who, as well as my mood.

if I've just had a really bad day, I normally want to be in charge.
if I'm felling insecure, I'd rather submitt..



BiSalemOR -> RE: To dominate or submit? (6/30/2009 5:40:15 PM)

I've always been what I would call dominant but its not the aggressive overpowering way. I guess passive dominant might be a better way of saying it. I've yet to have any submissive moments with a woman but have enjoyed tying women up and teasing them etc. After being with a few that were bi curious and seeing how much they seem to enjoy what they were doing and crave and lust it finally got me to thinking about being bi curious.

One thing that has upset me with this community is that dom/sub only has one meaning and they say my definition is wrong. There are still many that see that my idea of being sub as valid and agree that there are many definitions. The way I want to try being sub is the same way that a majority of women have been sub to men outside this type of community. They get down on their knees and suck a guy and submit their body to the guy. I'm sure there is a better way to put it but thats the best I can think of at the moment. I don't want spanked or ordered around or made to kneel at someones feet for hours etc etc. I do get excited at the idea of a woman playing a more dominant role while still being gentle and caring and teach me how to be sub but to learn to enjoy bottom. I've seen a few pics of women wearing a strapon and found them to look extremely hot and feel a part of me that wanted to submit my body to them. Same goes with guys, I like the idea of him gently seducing me into sucking him and to be taken by him. I have no desire to be feminized or crossdressed or cuckolded. I've never been submissive but think that I probably have it in me and would love to have someone coax it out and keep taking it further.

Even though this is a sexual thing to me I want to be taught that during those submissive sexual times to release my dominant side and to mentally be completely submissive. I so respect how the women I've been with seem to let their submissive side overpower them and drive their lust and need and I'm in complete awe of it and love the idea of the person I'm being helped to become submissive by to make it comfortable and yet push me into complete submission and the mental and physical pleasure drive me into that same submissive lust driven need.

I eventually hope to find a switch woman that I can have my dominant nights where she is submissive to me yet on other nights where I can only be submissive and she only the dominant one. I also fantasize aabout finding a guy that all I am is a submissive bottom, not switch or versatile or top. In both cases I fantasize that they want to push my submission and lust and need to a more and more deviant level. While I will always want my top dominant masculine time with women I like the idea of the person gets me to the point I want to be submissive bottom just as much if not more. To the point that if she brought home a guy unannounced for me to submit to and pleasure him then I would slip into that mode in seconds.

I have to say that having been straight and couldn't even look at a guy in a porno this is rather confusing but still very exciting to me and something I look forward to being a permanent part of me if I can ever find the right person and they can get me to enjoy it and want it more.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NYLass

I like to whip and be whipped.  When I was married, we alternated every night.   There was no power exchange or dom or sub.  Just a married couple who both enjoyed the endorphin rush.  




Goddess2002 -> RE: To dominate or submit? (7/2/2009 3:52:40 AM)

Don't know if it's true for others....but for me being submissive is a lot more work! Not that it doesn't come naturally, but it seems to really keep me on my toes. Hopefully I wasn't just becoming a lazy Domme...



Andalusite -> RE: To dominate or submit? (7/3/2009 8:40:27 AM)

I started out as a Domme for 5 years, my last relationship was as a submissive for 3 years, and I just entered a M/s relationship about a month ago. My other relationships were egalitarian kinky as top, bottom, or switch, and I'm perfectly capable of switching in terms of S/M and bondage within the same scene, with the same partner. I also enjoyed co-topping and being co-topped. Most people don't push my D/s buttons in either direction.



porcelaine -> RE: To dominate or submit? (7/3/2009 7:57:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25

Which do you enjoy more to dominate or to submit? or both?



right now i enjoy yielding more. but i find that i'm moving in a different direction switch wise and miss it in some respects. but i want to explore it in a different fashion instead. so i guess overall i like both. i wouldn't want to be without either if i had to choose.

porcelaine



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