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RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/9/2009 7:09:02 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		That was my first thought as well.  Hormonal based birth control can throw a woman's libido completely off in addition to all the emotional ups and downs.


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Ob/gyn to start with to have normal hormone levels checked; estrogen, testosterone, etc.

Oh, and what birth control is she using? Because if it's anything hormonal, then that's the most obvious suspect.


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(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/9/2009 8:17:23 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

Does anyone know the best type of medical professional to go to for help or guidance?

Sex therapist? Gynocologist? Urologist? Holistic medicine?


My first suggestion would be to see a Gynocologist to make sure all the plumbing is in good shape.  A complete check will also include blood work to check for hormone levels and other factors.  You can ask the gynecologist who you should see next, but if all checks out well a sex therapist might be in order.  That way any sexual problems can be addressed.  It might be that there is no real problem except the concern about sexual function itself. 

(in reply to DominantXY)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/9/2009 8:18:42 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Another thing I was thinking of.....if she has low self esteem at all, especially about her own body, she may be more worried about what you are seeing and feeling, (do I look silly doing this, does my ass look fat, are my boobs in my arm pits, can he feel the razor stubble and is he grossed out......etc etc ) and not able to really relax and enjoy the sex.

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(in reply to DominantXY)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/9/2009 9:24:28 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		so, everything "works"...just not how you'd like it to?  this slave knows the anguish...but only from the other side of the equation.
 
start with a check on the hardwiring (physical, hormonal stuff).
 
if that checks out ok, then move on to the software (mental processing of acts, etc.)  there could be sub-programs in there that were created a long time ago, that serve no purpose and could be uninstalled or modified.
 
also, be prepared...there is a lot that doctors DON'T know. 
 
for example, Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome is a form of female sexual dysfunction that was first documented by Dr. Sandra Leiblum in 2001, but has only recently been characterized as a distinct syndrome in medical literature.
 
best of luck to you!

(in reply to DominantXY)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/9/2009 6:03:26 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Were I a betting person, I'd lay odds on it being nothing physical at all.  That having been said, going through the motions to rule it out will likely be necessary to move forward from there.  A visit to the gyn and potentially an endocrinologist may be good bets. 
As others have mentioned, hormonal birth control can do HORRIBLE things to the female libido and orgasmic response upto and including making them go 'poof' and vanish. 
Worrying about it can become a negative feedback loop and that's probably a good part of what's happening.  Potential area for counseling if she wants to go the professional route. 
And, I saw that you've had 2 Hitachi magic wands.  I own one and it's like a freakin' jack-hammer.  I'm pretty sure it decreases sensitivity rather than doing anything assistive for achieving orgasm.  Plain ole cheap vibrators (One of the only times you'll ever see me advocate low-end sex toys) rock; you can get several for not a lot of money and experiment with different frequencies.  And, if you and/or she find one that works really well, buy extras of the same model. 
Best wishes, 
  Davan

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(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/10/2009 7:43:22 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		If I didn't know better, the OP could very easily be describing me! 
Out of curiousity, why is every so quick to discount a physical problem?    A while back I read an article about a device that could increase blood flow to the clitoris.. Sort of an intermittent, electrical pussy pump that had just been approved by the FDA for use in the United States by prescription only. 



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(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/10/2009 10:19:58 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Being that she can orgasm easily alone, and not with a partner, I would say it's a waste of time and money to have blood levels of hormones checked, ob/gyn visits, endocrinologists (!).  If she had difficulty with orgasm with a partner AND alone, sure, but only with a partner?  That just doesn't seem to make sense to say that it could even BE a hormonal problem.

However, I would certainly advocate a visit to the ob/gyn, if only to say, "I can orgasm easily alone, but have always had difficulty with a partner, and this has always bothered me. What can be done/who can I see to work on changing this?"


Cali


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(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/11/2009 11:18:16 AM   
DavanKael


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Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

If I didn't know better, the OP could very easily be describing me! 
Out of curiousity, why is every so quick to discount a physical problem?    A while back I read an article about a device that could increase blood flow to the clitoris.. Sort of an intermittent, electrical pussy pump that had just been approved by the FDA for use in the United States by prescription only. 




Hi, BSB < waves! >  Long time, no talk; hope all is well with you!  :> 
There are 'clit and pussy pumps' on the market in the US that you can buy/order from your local sex-toy emporium.  These go from very basic (Inexpensive) to more complex, motorized, and more expensive.  There are even some that have different tubing and attachments that allow you the option to use the main unit for pumping a penis, penis and balls, breasts, nipples, a vagina (The overall area), a clitoris. 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/11/2009 3:02:33 PM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Most likely everything is okay but if there is a question its definatly worth getting it looked at by a Doctor. After the doctor if everything looks okay then
you might want to consider therapy if she has any past emotional abuse issues as well as getting into Tantric type stuff as well as reconditioning and hypnotherapy on the holistic side.  They also have a female version of viagra (not 100% sure if its release yet)  There is also electric implants which is rather extream because it causes a woman to orgasm until its shut off (connects directly to nerves which reviews say that is way over the top incredible).
To be honest with you though,  I have dated and been with older woman all my life and I have never known a woman under thirty to be all that orgasmic... under 25 is usually just plain frustration over 40 is Damn! For 50 or so then you should purchase hearing protection and you might want to wear protective clothing for your back. In short, as hard as it may be to believe... woman just totaly kick ass as they get older.  

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/11/2009 9:52:44 PM   
crazyredhead1957


Posts: 189
Joined: 12/10/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: T1981

I would be curious to know, though, what IS the average  length of time a woman has clitoral stimulation before she orgasms? Just to satisfy my own morbid curiosity......



For me it's about 30 seconds and i'm a rapid repeater.

(in reply to T1981)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/11/2009 10:12:48 PM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		I would not underestimate the power that feeling under pressure can have.  Heck, just about any man can attest to this.  It may not be pressure from the outside, perhaps a perception of such, and certainly internal.  I am sometimes rather slow to orgasm with a partner when I am tired, distracted, feel rushed, not physically comfortable, feeling gassy, you name it...there are sooooooooo many possible factors.  I have learned to recognize some factors, not all.  Hopefully she will as well.  If she wants to create change in her life, good on her, and good luck.

If you are looking for a referral to the health care providers in your area who are best at addressing the physical and/or mental factors, contact the human sexuality professors at your nearest University.

(in reply to crazyredhead1957)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/12/2009 4:53:17 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

If I didn't know better, the OP could very easily be describing me! 
Out of curiousity, why is every so quick to discount a physical problem?    A while back I read an article about a device that could increase blood flow to the clitoris.. Sort of an intermittent, electrical pussy pump that had just been approved by the FDA for use in the United States by prescription only. 




Hi, BSB < waves! >  Long time, no talk; hope all is well with you!  :> 
There are 'clit and pussy pumps' on the market in the US that you can buy/order from your local sex-toy emporium.  These go from very basic (Inexpensive) to more complex, motorized, and more expensive.  There are even some that have different tubing and attachments that allow you the option to use the main unit for pumping a penis, penis and balls, breasts, nipples, a vagina (The overall area), a clitoris. 
Davan


*waves back*  Hey there Davan!

I know about all the novelty pumps that are sold.  This one I am tallking about is FDA aprroved, available in the US by prescription only, and studies have shown that it is effective in increasing blood flow to the area (or so I have read).. But I don't remember the name of it!!

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/12/2009 5:13:15 PM   
sensura


Posts: 71
Joined: 2/8/2009
Status: offline 		I am also slow most of the time, unless I or we use a vib then I cum in 3 mins lol. I agree with the post about low self esteem. I used to worry about how I would look and would I taste good enough  smell good enough etc. I dont anymore as my Master always gives me positive reinforcement. He makes me feel desirable and sexy. He is very vocal and that helps unlike some men who are dead quiet while having sex. On that note, I am still not real fast but have improved alot. I think its more a mentality thing then physical.

sensura

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/12/2009 5:57:49 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

If I didn't know better, the OP could very easily be describing me! 
Out of curiousity, why is every so quick to discount a physical problem?    A while back I read an article about a device that could increase blood flow to the clitoris.. Sort of an intermittent, electrical pussy pump that had just been approved by the FDA for use in the United States by prescription only. 




Hi, BSB < waves! >  Long time, no talk; hope all is well with you!  :> 
There are 'clit and pussy pumps' on the market in the US that you can buy/order from your local sex-toy emporium.  These go from very basic (Inexpensive) to more complex, motorized, and more expensive.  There are even some that have different tubing and attachments that allow you the option to use the main unit for pumping a penis, penis and balls, breasts, nipples, a vagina (The overall area), a clitoris. 
Davan


*waves back*  Hey there Davan!

I know about all the novelty pumps that are sold.  This one I am tallking about is FDA aprroved, available in the US by prescription only, and studies have shown that it is effective in increasing blood flow to the area (or so I have read).. But I don't remember the name of it!!


It is the Eros CTD (clitoral therapy device)

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/12/2009 6:04:59 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I'm the same way... it's not that there's anything wrong, it's just the way I'm wired. 


Precisely.  It's not really 'dysfunction', considering that it's the overwhelming majority.  This exact thing is common to probably close to 99% of females out there.

Consider it like this.  When you masturbate, you can climax in what, 2 minutes probably, if you put your mind to it?  But when someone else is taking care of that for you, it can take a lot LOT longer, and sometimes just not happen until you take care of it yourself, yes?  No matter how wonderful it may feel when they're doing whatever it is they're doing.

Nothing is wrong with you in that instance, just as there is nothing wrong with her.  Welcome to the odd and wonderful mechanics of the human body.


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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/12/2009 6:11:50 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with most of what is already here, but would like to add another couple of ideas to the mix.  In my own experience, sometimes it is when it takes me the longest that you will have to peel me off the ceiling when I finally do have that orgasm and my partner will be rewarded with multiples and now (oh, I'm so excited about this!) squirting.  I used to just give up, but a lot of patience from my partner has made a massive difference in my responsiveness and my willingness to continue when even I am beginning to get bored.  The longer it takes me, the sweeter I know it will be once it gets there.

Another thought goes in opposite of the attempt at control mentioned in passing in an earlier post.  Perhaps, it is that she is needing some level of control placed upon her orgasm.  Since making her cum on command is clearly only going to make matters worse, maybe try delay/denial techniques.  It will also work on a psychological level that, since you are specifically telling her NOT to cum, then you are willing and desire to take all night long with her (and more perhaps ) and it may also bring out that desire in her for that dangling, yet forbidden fruit.  It is something to try.

Still seeing the ob/gyn and going from there is a good thing.  If all is well in the physical kingdom, she will be more open to the potential benefits of therapy (in my opinion, really the only major reason to even go through the physical eval given the senario).  A sex therapist can help in a more direct manner, but a regular therapist may be more apt to get to deeper things and help her work through them.  Select these professionals carefully and be willing to fire undesirable ones quickly.  She deserves the best after all!  Best wishes to you both!

lovingpet

(in reply to sensura)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: female sexual dysfunction question - 2/12/2009 6:57:38 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

When she masturbates, she can come fairly quickly, but with a partner it can take almost an hour of (indirect) clitoral stimulation.


She sounds perfectly normal...or as normal as 80% of women who do not orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation. 

(in reply to DominantXY)
Profile   Post #: 37
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