"If you're worthy"

"If you're worthy" (Full Version)

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Missokyst -> "If you're worthy" (2/8/2009 9:12:56 PM)
Ok.. was on the other side seeing if I had any mail (lol don't know why I rarely do).. and I see something along the lines of this in a profile. I will take you .. if you're worthy. Normally I let things pass but that's the third time in a week that the first profile I see, has a similar line. I tend to see things from a couple viewpoint so I may be lost here. But when you see that phrase.. or put it in your own profile, what does that mean to you? Kyst

catize -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/8/2009 9:21:02 PM)
It means I think of that Bill and Ted movie scene!

Lynnxz -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/8/2009 9:23:56 PM)
It's an eyeroll... someone's a little full of themselves. throatcheck

NuevaVida -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/8/2009 9:55:58 PM)
It means I move along to the next profile. I can see wanting to find someone suitable. But this "if you're worthy" smacks too much of chat room antics. And while I can understand some may have this viewpoint (and they're entitled to have it), I can't personally enter into a relationship feeling less than what I am. Since I spent too great a part of my life thinking very little of myself, those words strike something negative in me that I'd rather not go back to.

aravain -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/8/2009 10:01:42 PM)
~FR~ Hah[:D] I think "Oh for heaven's sake, this guy again?" It always shows the same one...

Missokyst -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/8/2009 10:08:42 PM)
yep, struck me the same way. I wondered if it was just my irritation trigger. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida Since I spent too great a part of my life thinking very little of myself, those words strike something negative in me that I'd rather not go back to.

BondageBarbieX -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/8/2009 10:14:59 PM)
I don't mind it when I see that...why take someone unworthy?

BitaTruble -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/8/2009 10:16:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst Ok.. was on the other side seeing if I had any mail (lol don't know why I rarely do).. and I see something along the lines of this in a profile. I will take you .. if you're worthy. Normally I let things pass but that's the third time in a week that the first profile I see, has a similar line. I tend to see things from a couple viewpoint so I may be lost here. But when you see that phrase.. or put it in your own profile, what does that mean to you? Kyst It's the flip side of that song by the Ego'dom'inacs I want a worm. I just use it as a weeding process because neither of those float my boat but there is a lid for every pot and we're all entitled to set any standard (or no standard at all) to what we seek.

iSyllogism -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/8/2009 10:45:38 PM)
It's code -- "I will take you .. if you're worthy." >>> "I'm full of myself."

sravaka -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/8/2009 11:30:35 PM)
To me it means: only one side is entitled to judge, while the other side is comprised of so many cans on the shelf waiting to be shopped by any twit who happens to be in the store. No thanks.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/8/2009 11:46:41 PM)
Cat I think you mean Waynes World

MissMorrigan -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/9/2009 1:01:41 AM)
I have no issue with people if degradation is a kink of theirs, what I do have issue with, and I encounter it a lot, is when male submissives write to me and refer to themselves as 'worthless' as being some kind of standard viewpoint. The majority of the ones I have talked with and they run into the hundreds over several years profess that they have come to adopt that attitude as a result of talking with so many 'dominant' females who require this. I can't speak for the 'other side' (I'm not referring to the kind that requires the aid of a medium, either) but I'm assuming that there are just as many 'dominant' men that instill into naive female submissives that submission equates to a lack of self worth and they should consider themselves fortunate to have such an uber dom take notice of them. Ugh!

DesFIP -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/9/2009 3:49:18 AM)
Means he has a chip on his shoulder. And I don't need that to deal with. Obviously we all want someone compatible with us in all sorts of ways. But someone standing there, fists balled, glaring at everyone daring them to "prove they're worthy" is someone with a lot of undealt with issues. And I'm not planning on being his unpaid therapist.

catize -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/9/2009 4:35:07 AM)
Yeah! That's the one I was thinking of---thanks!

MissMorrigan -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/9/2009 4:40:06 AM)
I like to come down on the side of positivity and hope that, as with many male submissives, the doms are speaking out of ignorance rather than actual belief - and could be due a re-education/training programme of their own. quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Means he has a chip on his shoulder. And I don't need that to deal with. Obviously we all want someone compatible with us in all sorts of ways. But someone standing there, fists balled, glaring at everyone daring them to "prove they're worthy" is someone with a lot of undealt with issues. And I'm not planning on being his unpaid therapist.

CatdeMedici -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/9/2009 4:58:04 AM)
*<note: this is not meant for all, as there will always be some who use this for the good, however, My humble experience has not shown that to be the case for the masses>* I wish I could totally agree with you on this one--ignorance, yeah, I'm there for some, however, I see this more in Doms and Dominas who have discovered this proclivity to unleash their arrogance, stupidity, latent domineering ways in an effort to secure or procure some hapless opposite into a "relationship". Human nature when told "you aren't" has a tendency to jump to the challenge and work overtime to say, "by gawd, I am"---its what I call a passive challenge--these people don't give a damn how many they go through as long as they get their rewards.

MissMorrigan -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/9/2009 5:13:48 AM)
I can't disagree with you on any of that, Cat. People will always find abuse when they seek it. I have also witnessed (via the boards on this site and on others)/encountered personally relatively inexperienced dominants who have fallen into the trap of the fanciful stereotypes which are bandied around by the media and some circles within the scene ("You are not a submissive until you SUFFER and earn my worthiness"). As with any relationship, it starts with two persons and it's up to each individual to become as informed as they possibly can before deciding if that's the kind of relationship they want to be involved in.

chezzy71 -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/9/2009 5:26:36 AM)
Worthy??What is this???The BDSM equivalent to the five and dime??Anyone on either side of the coin should feel more than worthy..if you make a mistake..oh well..try harder not to make another or the same one.And if it is indeed your pathology to feel worthy..then nothing i say can make a difference.I feel worthy all the time..heck just ask me.But to me at the end of the day,i would rather feel wanted more than worthy.Like beauty,i do believe it is in the eye of the beholder.

hardbodysub -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/9/2009 5:28:43 AM)
"Prove to me that you're worthy" is extremely common in profiles of female dominants. It always sounds pretty uber-egotistical to me. If I'm not interested in someone, for any reason, I don't consider them "unworthy", but merely not a good match.

CaringandReal -> RE: "If you're worthy" (2/9/2009 5:35:43 AM)
What's ludricous and midly annoying about that statement is that the "if you're worthy" guys almost never give you any reason to believe that they'd be worth proving worthiness to. Their profiles and initial emails are usually utterly devoid of any relevant information about themselves or their interest in you: information that would inspire curiousity in a sub or a desire to learn more, let alone a desire to serve and prove worthiness. They do not indicate in any way whatsoever that they understand submissive women or how best to control them. That blatent lack of... "proof of concept" suggests unintelligence masquerading behind blustering. It also suggests a passive, unoriginal "copy-cat" follower sort of personality which is very unattrative in a male dominant. So many men on this site use that phrase "If you're worthy!" as their hook that seeing it in yet another profile makes me wonder if all some of these guys know how to do is to go around copying and pasting from each other's profiles. The lack of any original ideas or in their self-descriptions suggests this is very much the case. And all of this is reminicent of herd behavior, not leader behavior. A smart dominant, in my expectation, would save the "If you're worthy" phrase for a time when it will do the most good.

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