softness
Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TPEowners2serve
Here's another problem set for you experienced sub/slaves,
Is it your unquestioned assumption that you WILL UNDOUBTEDLY be used for some physical sexual satisfaction of your Dom/me and (duh) that's WHY you are here in the first place?
Countering that, would you ever be searching on CM if you'd be limited to a chaste service? (Meaning, you'd never be sexed by Dom/me, but may masterbate or be used by others at Dom/me's discretion/command)
Ok so sex is really really really (did I say really) something I want in my life ... as much as is humanly possible. But then I am young and superficial and still pumped up from teenage"fuck- everything-that-moves-until-it-stops-moving-then-once-more-to-be-sure" hormone onslaught. For sex to statisfy me it doesn't have to be all that kinky ... sweaty energetic and vigiourous yes ... kinky .. not so much. At university I had at one stage 2-4 fairly regular fuck buddies and then whoever else followed me home from a night out. I was having sex several times a day, occassionally with several different people .. even then I never reached the stage where I would or could honestly say .. ok I've had enough. So I accepted at a fairly early age that seeking sexual exhaustion was not a dragon I could ever catch by chasing. Sex therefore is not a priority, it is however an important component. I can and have been in BDSM dynamics where sex was of actually a fairly low priority that have been very happy indeed.
I would not enter into a committed relationship if sex was off the cards. It's pretty simple. I would not be having my needs met by that relationship. I would become unhappy and displeasing, and then no-one would be getting their needs met. See how simple? I would, have and do consider more serious relationships where sex is lower down the priority list. It has still got to be on it though. If my physical needs are being met enough for me to remain happily in service then I can remain happily in service. What "enough" is would obviously vary. I am very physical person, contact is crucial for my contentment, physical affection and demonstrations of love would keep me very happy for a long time because they have more meaning than a sweaty fuck in a public toilet but eventually I would need that sweaty fuck. See ... still very simple.
I think people become troubled with and bogged down in having things set in stone. I know that sex needs to be present in the relationship for me to want to remain there, how often that sex is present - thats not something I know. When it became an issue, it would get discussed in a fair and mature open fashion. A good Dominant for me would understand my needs had as much right to be met as theirs and work with me to ensure we were both getting what we needed to keep the relationship healthy. A bad Dominant for me would not do that, not want to work together to meet both our needs, and would effectively nix the relationship.
Simplicity ... do what works, if it doesn't work, don't do it.
< Message edited by softness -- 2/18/2009 7:33:01 AM >
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proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family
veritas, respectus honorque in corio
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RE: sex-pectations... - 
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