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MichMasochist -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/21/2006 8:59:31 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: brokenhallelujah
For me, one of the most fulfilling -- and challenging -- aspects of embracing BDSM as part of my lifestyle, was the degree to which it makes one think about H/his or H/her sexuality. And although for me intercourse is part of that equation, it's the right hand side of the equation. In other words, the physical consummation of the intimate act is the resolution of many other factors that go into place before that act can occur.
Fetish and kink tend to make one aestheticisze sexuality. To express it in well-thought out, more eloquent fashions. So much of the human sexuality that we observe is so primal, so immediate, as if thought and feeling were somehow subservient to satisfying that animal urge to copulate. The rituals that I observe in my kink-oriented sexual moments act as brakes, of a sort, that require a certain degree of mindfullness about the interaction.
BDSM is not, for everyone, about sex. It can mean different things to different people, address different needs, express different needs. To me, it IS about sex because it IS the way I experience intimacy most completely with another. But there's so much more internal dialogue and negotiation that has to take place before that intimacy can occur.
Wow, I can relate to your words
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