Subspace is a metaphor for the state the submissive’s minds and bodies are in during a deeply involving play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses. The mental aspect of BDSM also causes many submissives to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience. Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence. Deep subspace may also cause a danger in newer submissives who are unfamiliar with the experience, and require the dominant to keep a careful watch to ensure the submissive isn’t placing him or herself in danger. Many submissives require aftercare.

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ORIGINAL: Nillaspice

I came across this blog and felt it was good information and should be shared for the safety of the submissive  :)


What to do when Your submissive hits “subspace”
Author: SybilH.
Being a submissive, i always have envisioned Dom(me)s as being fully informed, all knowing, all seeing beings. Within this mindset was the preconceived notion that Dom(me)s are familiar with subspace. Having once seen a Domme have Dom-crash, i realized i was woefully uninformed about the emotional state of Dom(me)s after scening. i asked some questions, and tried to understand what i was witnessing. Recently, i became aware that Dom(me)s are probably equally as confused and unaware of subspace. To start off, many might be asking: What is “subspace”? Wikipedia states the following:

Subspace is a metaphor for the state the submissive’s minds and bodies are in during a deeply involving play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses. The mental aspect of BDSM also causes many submissives to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience. Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence. Deep subspace may also cause a danger in newer submissives who are unfamiliar with the experience, and require the dominant to keep a careful watch to ensure the submissive isn’t placing him or herself in danger. Many submissives require aftercare.

To me, the important part of that definition is the statement “process the experience.” A submissive does not hit subspace during each scene, unless Y/you are of the type to play very long and hard each time. So why does a submissive hit subspace during some scenes and not others? In my experience, subspace occurs when a nerve, of some sort, has been hit. The physical pain might have been very intense for the submissive, causing subspace. However, emotional pain or intensity can also cause a submissive to enter subspace. BDSM is a journey that a submissive and Dom(me) take together. Sometimes, a submissive may enter into a scene knowing that she or he has emotional issues through which she or he must work. Perhaps the submissive told the Dom(me), but more likely nothing was said. It might come as a shock, then, for the Dom(me) to see the submissive enter into deep subspace after a scene. However, it should always be seen as a compliment to the Dom(me). The Dom(me) has allowed the walls to come down for the submissive, so that the submissive may truly see inside and begin to process their internal workings. i would like to stop for a moment and reassure Dom(me)s that this internal process is not always a painful or sad one. While pain, sadness, guilt, anger and other such emotions are often associated with intense feelings, the same can be said about happy emotions. The devotion a submissive feels for their Dom(me) can be as overwhelming as any depression. People today are not expecting happiness, and sometimes happiness can be hard to feel. A Dom(me) should work through happy feelings just like sad feelings, and be there for Their submissive. Having explained a bit what subspace is, now what does a Dom(me) do when They have noticed that the submissive has gone off into subspace? The most important thing to remember is that the submissive is an altered state of thinking. DO NOT allow the submissive to make serious decisions on her / his own. Think of the submissive as a small child - take in their wants and wishes, but make sure the ultimate decision is for the benefit of the submissive. When in subspace, a submissive will often ask for more pain. This should be a red flag to Dom(me)s. Do not allow the submissive to talk You into giving them too much pain or causing them harm. A submissive will often crave more pain, because they like being where they are. Do not allow them to push themselves too far. Subspace for some is an intensely personal journey. As such, some submissives prefer to be alone. If Your submissive needs alone time, set up a safe space for them. This might be a cage, a puppy bed, a pillow fort, whatever makes them feel safest. Give Your submissive the time to process their emotions, while checking in with them every so often. For others, subspace is a very needy, social time. The submissive will need affirmation of their connection with the Dom(me). They will want physical touch, praise, etc. If Your submissive feels this way, set up a situation where they can rest at Your feet or by Your side. Pet their hair, hold their hand. Anything to affirm You are there and care for them. A final note: some submissives, upon entering subspace, become non-vocal. Personally, i am unable to form any real sentences. If this becomes an issue with Your submissive, simply start asking Your submissive yes or no questions. For example, do not ask them “What do you want to eat?” but rather give them two options. Again, keep in mind that a submissive in subspace is processing intense emotions. This means they often do not know what they need. If You have just scened with Your submissive, insist that he or she eat something and drink something. Make sure they rest. Lastly, make sure You are protecting Your submissive during subspace. It is a fragile time for them, albeit a great one. Make sure they stay protected and safe, so that they can make this journey within themselves. Ultimately, Your submissive will return. The length of time depends upon the intensity of the subspace. After they come back, it might be good to discuss with them what caused them to go into subspace or what they learned from subspace. After scene journaling can be a great way to communicate, to get down the thoughts and emotions brought up along the journey.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nillaspice

I came across this blog and felt it was good information and should be shared for the safety of the submissive  :)


What to do when Your submissive hits “subspace”
Author: SybilH.
Being a submissive, i always have envisioned Dom(me)s as being fully informed, all knowing, all seeing beings. Within this mindset was the preconceived notion that Dom(me)s are familiar with subspace. Having once seen a Domme have Dom-crash, i realized i was woefully uninformed about the emotional state of Dom(me)s after scening. i asked some questions, and tried to understand what i was witnessing. Recently, i became aware that Dom(me)s are probably equally as confused and unaware of subspace. To start off, many might be asking: What is “subspace”? Wikipedia states the following:

Subspace is a metaphor for the state the submissive’s minds and bodies are in during a deeply involving play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses. The mental aspect of BDSM also causes many submissives to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience. Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence. Deep subspace may also cause a danger in newer submissives who are unfamiliar with the experience, and require the dominant to keep a careful watch to ensure the submissive isn’t placing him or herself in danger. Many submissives require aftercare.

To me, the important part of that definition is the statement “process the experience.” A submissive does not hit subspace during each scene, unless Y/you are of the type to play very long and hard each time. So why does a submissive hit subspace during some scenes and not others? In my experience, subspace occurs when a nerve, of some sort, has been hit. The physical pain might have been very intense for the submissive, causing subspace. However, emotional pain or intensity can also cause a submissive to enter subspace. BDSM is a journey that a submissive and Dom(me) take together. Sometimes, a submissive may enter into a scene knowing that she or he has emotional issues through which she or he must work. Perhaps the submissive told the Dom(me), but more likely nothing was said. It might come as a shock, then, for the Dom(me) to see the submissive enter into deep subspace after a scene. However, it should always be seen as a compliment to the Dom(me). The Dom(me) has allowed the walls to come down for the submissive, so that the submissive may truly see inside and begin to process their internal workings. i would like to stop for a moment and reassure Dom(me)s that this internal process is not always a painful or sad one. While pain, sadness, guilt, anger and other such emotions are often associated with intense feelings, the same can be said about happy emotions. The devotion a submissive feels for their Dom(me) can be as overwhelming as any depression. People today are not expecting happiness, and sometimes happiness can be hard to feel. A Dom(me) should work through happy feelings just like sad feelings, and be there for Their submissive. Having explained a bit what subspace is, now what does a Dom(me) do when They have noticed that the submissive has gone off into subspace? The most important thing to remember is that the submissive is an altered state of thinking. DO NOT allow the submissive to make serious decisions on her / his own. Think of the submissive as a small child - take in their wants and wishes, but make sure the ultimate decision is for the benefit of the submissive. When in subspace, a submissive will often ask for more pain. This should be a red flag to Dom(me)s. Do not allow the submissive to talk You into giving them too much pain or causing them harm. A submissive will often crave more pain, because they like being where they are. Do not allow them to push themselves too far. Subspace for some is an intensely personal journey. As such, some submissives prefer to be alone. If Your submissive needs alone time, set up a safe space for them. This might be a cage, a puppy bed, a pillow fort, whatever makes them feel safest. Give Your submissive the time to process their emotions, while checking in with them every so often. For others, subspace is a very needy, social time. The submissive will need affirmation of their connection with the Dom(me). They will want physical touch, praise, etc. If Your submissive feels this way, set up a situation where they can rest at Your feet or by Your side. Pet their hair, hold their hand. Anything to affirm You are there and care for them. A final note: some submissives, upon entering subspace, become non-vocal. Personally, i am unable to form any real sentences. If this becomes an issue with Your submissive, simply start asking Your submissive yes or no questions. For example, do not ask them “What do you want to eat?” but rather give them two options. Again, keep in mind that a submissive in subspace is processing intense emotions. This means they often do not know what they need. If You have just scened with Your submissive, insist that he or she eat something and drink something. Make sure they rest. Lastly, make sure You are protecting Your submissive during subspace. It is a fragile time for them, albeit a great one. Make sure they stay protected and safe, so that they can make this journey within themselves. Ultimately, Your submissive will return. The length of time depends upon the intensity of the subspace. After they come back, it might be good to discuss with them what caused them to go into subspace or what they learned from subspace. After scene journaling can be a great way to communicate, to get down the thoughts and emotions brought up along the journey.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PommeDeMonSang

thank you for posting this because this might have just helped me figure out why i am so quiet other than pleasure moans and such during scenes. i have been told before that there have been times that i should have safe worded but wasnt aware enough to do so. THANK THE GODDESS that im blessed with a wonderful Master that when He senses it He starts forcefully asking if i need to call mercy or not and usually by a few times im back around to sorta mutter it and we stop. now i know and Master and i can talk further about this.

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ORIGINAL: crazyredhead1957

i know this is probably a silly question, but what is "Dom-crash?"  Is that kind of a "Dom-space," like subs have sub-space?  What happens with it?  i want to make it better for Him.