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RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/15/2004 5:40:57 PM   
ScorpioMaster


Posts: 146
Joined: 3/30/2004
Status: offline 		I have been into bondage for so long I am not even sure what vanilla is like for every woman I was with I was able to tie up. I even was able to tie up both of my wives and even got them to love being tied up. So the concept for vanilla has been combining for me.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/15/2004 5:51:26 PM   
wyldhearted


Posts: 44
Joined: 5/17/2004
Status: offline 		A vanilla relationship simply doesn't work for me. It may seem tempting to walk away from all of this..heaven knows it isn't an easy path we have all chosen to walk. It doesn't take long to realise nilla isn't going to work in my life. I quickly scare them away with my desires, wants and needs.

Like someone mentioned earlier..we quickly become labled co-dependant or needy and in need of "help". It just doesn't seem to work out at all to blend the two worlds.

morgan

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/15/2004 7:12:02 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		I think it is useful to think of a distinction between vanilla and those who may not be aware of a BDSM "lifestyle" but still have the charisticics in them. For example, years ago before I knew about dominance or submission I had a girlfriend who was a self-described "pleaser"; these days she could have an ad here and describe herself as a service oriented submissive.

So I'll bet that Angelika's vanilla boys are drawn to her take charge energy, though they may freak when they discover the full extent of it. Similarly, the vanilla girls I date know I'm different (ok, some would say odd) and it will be an adventure, so when I get out the ropes and blindfold they like it. But, maybe it works for me because my interests are not so extreme compared to some other folks.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/15/2004 7:28:52 PM   
SherriA


Posts: 544
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wyldhearted

A vanilla relationship simply doesn't work for me. It may seem tempting to walk away from all of this..heaven knows it isn't an easy path we have all chosen to walk. It doesn't take long to realise nilla isn't going to work in my life. I quickly scare them away with my desires, wants and needs.


This resonates pretty well for me too. I can't see myself in a vanilla relationship. I was 14 yrs old and trying to get my sex partners to tie me up, spank me, and make me whimper. I always wondered why they wasted time sucking when they could BITE instead. "Vanilla" sexual relationships always felt like they were missing an important piece to me.

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-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

(in reply to wyldhearted)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/15/2004 7:35:59 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

Cooking is an immense pleasure for me and she appreciates it.

I don’t see this as reverting back to vanilla activities neither


I love to cook, although I don't claim "chef" status, lol. I also have a particular way that I prefer my tea, which varies according to what kind of tea it is. So rather than say, "if it's this kind of tea do it this way, and if it's that kind..." I just make it myself, and I will also serve whoever else is there. Vanilla? I don't believe we have any "Vanilla" around here.

quote:

"Vanilla" sexual relationships always felt like they were missing an important piece to me.


You said it, Sherri! LOTS of important pieces! lol

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/15/2004 8:38:57 PM   
theroebabe


Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline 		i think about taking a vanilla lover at some point if i dont find it in the d/s bdsm lifestyle.

however in reality i doubt i would. I decided once i became active in this chosen lifestyle that it would be as empty and unfullfilling as it was in the past so why bother.

Roe

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Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/15/2004 9:02:43 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		Howdy,

quote:


Sinergy~ will you please please come to grad school with me? <rapid batting of lids over large watery pleading (and sleep deprived) eyes>


*prepares to lull her under his spell with more Monty Python quotes*

Just dont ask me to do more homework.

quote:


Oops. Forgot you cook meat. O Travesty. <herbivorous pout>


Unless I am cooking Vegetarian or Macrobiotic.

Then I dont.

Sinergy

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"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/15/2004 10:33:56 PM   
MsSimone


Posts: 119
Joined: 7/15/2004
From: Chicago,Illinois
Status: offline 		Most vanilla men i meet are either scared by me or secretly kinky and intrigued that I am so open about my dominance and lifestyle. Vanilla men are like the ice cream :good tasting once in awhile, even for a short run but eventually you want some flavor to your ice cream! I get bored very quickly with vanilla men.

Ma'am

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www.chicago-mistress.com

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/16/2004 11:48:19 AM   
afmvdp


Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline 		My experiments in the Vanilla world are rarely beneficial so I normally don't bother anymore. Last large relationship I was in was rather directed in that way, actually tried to put this aspect of my life away in the closet for quite a while...problem is that you desire what you desire and you are fulfilled by what you are fulfilled by. Even when things like love or lust come into play if you have a need for things which you are not able to get from the dynamic of a relationship and the person it is with...well then your problem is quite evident. Who I am and how I live and who I am with is a direct corespondance to my nature. Perhaps this is different for switches or scenesters, but I can't just turn off who I am and the personality traits that I was born with. I was born a Dominant mentality and I really can't live any other way. So in response I need to find someone that molds with and is corespondant to what I need. Some of which just may be out of scope of the Vanilla majority.

(in reply to MsSimone)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/16/2004 12:04:59 PM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline 		I don't think that I could, even if I wanted to. I'm too out front with what I am, I think. It's probably the way that I look, or my general demeanor, but I think I can say with little fear of contradiction that every woman that has gotten within a stone's throw of me in the last decade knew what kind of man she was approaching.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 8/16/2004 12:05:46 PM >

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Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/16/2004 12:27:35 PM   
theroebabe


Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: afmvdp

...problem is that you desire what you desire and you are fulfilled by what you are fulfilled by. Even when things like love or lust come into play if you have a need for things which you are not able to get from the dynamic of a relationship and the person it is with...well then your problem is quite evident.


I totoally agree with you, i do not see in my life that this is a choice i have made. to me it is a way of life and it is a need. The need is not going away any time in the near future that i can see, so why waste my time and anyone elses when it is doomed to fail.

Roe

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to afmvdp)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/17/2004 12:37:07 AM   
MistressZanthia


Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline 		Nope, just can't do it. Tried it once after discovering who I am, and I couldn't go back.

And God forbid having to explain any of it to them. Forget it, generally a lost cause. They are mainly terrified of their sexuality and compartmentalized into little boxes of "sex is only this way, anything else out of the ordinary makes you bad". It's our puritanical background in America... which is so off base... read the "History of the Wife" oddly enough Puritan women had the right to divorce (yeppers, actual law) if hubby didn't satisfy her bedroom needs... don't know who fucked up the history, but our country had the Puritans all wrong.

But I don't generally have casual sexual relationships or dates either. Just say "no" to 'nilla. Eek. The mere thought of repressing myself to appease someone else turns my stomach.

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~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to theroebabe)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/17/2004 4:17:49 PM   
WayHome


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline 		I actually prefer vanilla. Bryer's all natural vanilla with the little flecks in it is my favorite flavor. I'm not a fan of "French vanilla" though (my French ancestors do understand) and I ocasionally will add some chocolate sauce.

One a more serious note, I can do "vanilla" and sometimes do. I really like going down on a woman and vanilla women tend to appreciate and enjoy that a lot more than the subs I experience and so it's a good way for me to get an oral fix without messing up my "dom energy".

What I really can't stand is "virgin". A vanilla who is in touch with her needs and knows her way around her own body and mine is fine, but some clumsy schoolgirl with more hangups than passion is something I can't handle. I'm not interested in "curious", I want hungry.

I have all sorts of relationships where my roles are very different, but my primary romantic relationship, the one with my wife, the love of my life, will never be vanilla (Ok, never again. It did start out that way)

(in reply to MistressZanthia)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/17/2004 6:00:49 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Glad to hear I can't screw up your tea, M'Lady.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyBeckett)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/17/2004 6:06:16 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		OK, If a vanilla woman said to me, "Please, please let's make mad passionate love." and I had nothing else going on I'd have a one night stand. The problem comes with the "relationship". D/s is a relationship. I don't want a vanilla RELATIONSHIP. Vanilla sex is just another type of exercise, and no, I would not scare her by asking her to hold this key.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/17/2004 8:10:15 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: afmvdp
Perhaps this is different for switches or scenesters, but I can't just turn off who I am and the personality traits that I was born with. I was born a Dominant mentality and I really can't live any other way.


I actually don't turn off my dominant nature. I am still me. I am however dominant whether I have a cane, crop or strap in my hand or not. What most vanilla boys remark is that I'm in control of my own pleasure, which apparently is something they don't run into often. It usually ends up being a huge turn on for them...

I have not had a long term vanilla relationship in... 11 years. But I am single at the moment and I enjoy the freedom of it. I also enjoy the company of intelligent men and women and am very social. So now and then I end up in a vanilla situation and I make the best of it. It usually ends up being quite pleasant.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to afmvdp)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/17/2004 8:12:17 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
I would not scare her by asking her to hold this key.


I gather this is not the key to your heart... ;)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/17/2004 8:16:12 PM   
afmvdp


Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline 		So it's just a matter of looking for short term satisfaction rather than long term relationship then? In that case, sure, I indulge in the random vanilla chick I happen to meet from time to time but that rarely comes to play into anything more than that.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/17/2004 9:29:55 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: afmvdp

So it's just a matter of looking for short term satisfaction rather than long term relationship then?


Hence the title of the thread... A scoop of vanilla now and then ;)

Or chocolate... I'm actually testing out a theory for LadyBeckett...

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to afmvdp)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: A scoop of vanilla now and then - 8/17/2004 11:51:01 PM   
afmvdp


Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline 		You mean I'm actually supposed to take the title of the post or even it's content into consideration before replying first? Hold the train here when did this change? haha ;)

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 40
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