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hardbodysub -> RE: Something I'm wondering about regarding the male-to-female ratio here (2/28/2009 7:30:59 PM)
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quote:
I think the numbers matter more if you are lazy, not clear about what you want and are not clear about who you are. If a man has done some work on himself, is willing to invest the time, and truly works toward understanding dominant women as he approaches them, the numbers begin to mean very, very little.
It's obvious that the numbers matter less to one who's done his homework than to one who hasn't. But if the numbers are highly skewed, "very, very little" is a an exaggeration.
As I said before, it's no different from a job search. When the economy sucks, and there are tons more people seeking jobs than there are jobs available, you have to work harder to find a job you want. Whether the numbers matter a little or a lot depends on just how bad things have gotten. When the numbers are so bad that there are 1,000 very qualified applicants who have done everything they are supposed to, everything they can, to make themselves stand out in the crowd, the numbers matter.
The quote above does raise a couple unintended issues. My initial thought was about how obvious it is that a sub has a better chance of attracting a domina if he does his homework, and to wonder why people feel they need to constantly harp on it. It seems to me that only a complete moron wouldn't understand that without having it repeated time after time. If dominant women get a lot of messages from guys who haven't got a clue, do you think those guys spend any time reading and learning on these forums?
But pondering the phrases about a man doing "some work on himself", and working toward "understanding dominant women" got me thinking a bit, wondering if there might be a misconception on the part of the women. I don't think "understanding dominant women" is precisely what a man should be trying to do, because dominant women aren't a homogeneous group. They are different individuals with highly contrasting preferences. Understanding the dominant woman HE is interested in is a much better use of a man's time and effort. This relates directly to doing "some work on himself". Clearly, a man needs to offer what a dominant woman is looking for, and if he doesn't, he should work on that. But if he's focusing on what dominant women supposedly want generally, rather than on specific dominant women, it's not clear that he's doing himself any favor at all. He may be giving himself an excellent chance to attain a relationship that isn't what he really wants.
Again, I'll use the job search analogy. You can take a shotgun approach, and spread your efforts over a large number of job opportunities, or you can focus on one, or a few, that you'd like the most, and put all your effort there. You can try to make yourself look generally attractive to a broad range of potential employers, or you can decide what you want, learn as much as you can about that specific company and/or job, the people doing the hiring, and tailor your approach and your qualifications to fit what they want. If your focus is just on landing "a" job, rather than "the" job you really want, you might not be happy with what you get.
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