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starting a munch - 2/28/2009 7:22:37 PM

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My munch didnt want me

and I really want to be in one so I'm just gonna start my own.

Any tips?

I figured we could meet at a park near here. Do you think I need someone to help me come up with ideas for topics and run it? or should I just do it on my own?

better question, how do I hide it from my parents? I live with them, and they dont judge me for being fetish but they certainly do not approve and think its a bad influence on me. we might have words about this. they let me go to the other munch but they werent wild about the idea. and they knew I'd been asked to DJ a "munch meeting" - um it was a play party but there is no way in hell I'd ever tell them what one of those is. minimal details, my friends, its a strictly need to know thing. (I'm in my twenties btw)

so I'm all excited. where do I start?

< Message edited by zombiebabe -- 2/28/2009 7:25:38 PM >

RE: starting a munch - 2/28/2009 7:45:33 PM

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why didn't your munch want you?

(in reply to zombiebabe)

RE: starting a munch - 2/28/2009 7:55:09 PM

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eh, rather not get into that.
do you have any tips?

< Message edited by zombiebabe -- 2/28/2009 8:36:13 PM >

(in reply to lilgirl2008)

RE: starting a munch - 2/28/2009 10:12:40 PM

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Starting a munch is the same method as starting a religion (or cult). Get a few people excited and have a first small shindig. Then urge them to persuade others to come. Then tell them aliens have made you their emissary into the D/s world.

This will be harder with a "competing" munch that has decided its best if you don't attend. I won't make any assumptions, but either they are rude jerks or you are not tolerable in a munch setting. (Unless they specialize in something, like a leather family much to which you don't belong, etc.)

Reconcile why the last one didn't work before moving on, potentially into the same mistake.

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RE: starting a munch - 2/28/2009 10:19:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zombiebabe
eh, rather not get into that.
do you have any tips?

Don't invite anyone from that munch.

(in reply to zombiebabe)

RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 12:43:29 AM

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Joined: 8/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zombiebabe

My munch didnt want me and I really want to be in one so I'm just gonna start my own.

Any tips?

I figured we could meet at a park near here. Do you think I need someone to help me come up with ideas for topics and run it? or should I just do it on my own?

better question, how do I hide it from my parents? I live with them, and they dont judge me for being fetish but they certainly do not approve and think its a bad influence on me. we might have words about this. they let me go to the other munch but they werent wild about the idea. and they knew I'd been asked to DJ a "munch meeting" - um it was a play party but there is no way in hell I'd ever tell them what one of those is. minimal details, my friends, its a strictly need to know thing. (I'm in my twenties btw)

so I'm all excited. where do I start?

Um... perhaps by slowing down. The scene is a pretty political and judgmental place. You may have experienced this by your exclusion.

Instead of doing a traditional "munch", which could be construed as competition by the "A" type personalities you might be dealing with at the other munch group, maybe try something more informal- like a holding a small RSVP only coffee gathering.

Just a suggestion, based on my own experiences. Neither my partner or I really like scene politics- so that was one of the ways we dealt with inter munch/club/event politics was to build our own small, private, and non political community.

It works. With the exception that there may not be a lot of singles in attendance.

(in reply to zombiebabe)

RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 1:04:25 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

Starting a munch is the same method as starting a religion (or cult). Get a few people excited and have a first small shindig. Then urge them to persuade others to come. Then tell them aliens have made you their emissary into the D/s world.

This will be harder with a "competing" munch that has decided its best if you don't attend. I won't make any assumptions, but either they are rude jerks or you are not tolerable in a munch setting. (Unless they specialize in something, like a leather family much to which you don't belong, etc.)

Reconcile why the last one didn't work before moving on, potentially into the same mistake.

All Hail the Munch Leader Ubertard, lovingly trained in the Old European Houses by slaves bred into the lifestyle from a lineage traced back to the time before Christ. Yes you too can worship at the altar of the Munch Leader. You too may be enlightened!

With enough meditation, you will be able to see past his career clerking at Walmart, his rusty 1976 Oldsmobile Cutlass, and his aversion to being anywhere near law enforcement. You will understand that his being is transcendent. That in fact he is the doorway, in the truest sense, to the "Old Ways". You will accept his training and guidance. You will self actualize serving the One True Munch! You will know, that the Old House of Leroyism, of Bavaria, has sent their emmisary unto us!

Be enlightened...

Thus sayeth the Munch Leader... so say we all!

(DISCLAIMER: Not all munch leaders are morons, in fact the majority work very hard. As for the others- This is satire: "the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly")

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 4:41:42 AM

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umm, for fear of sounding all old guard leather....

http://www.sensuoussadie.com/articles/shadowstartingmunch.htm

good advice and step by step for what has worked since the start of munches.

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RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 5:05:58 AM

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For a guy who has never been to a munch...or so you have said here...

How do you come to terms with giving advice...on starting one or even going to one?

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 6:37:53 AM

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Not sure what a munch is where you are, but where i live a munch is simply a vanilla style get together. There's no organising topics or themes, just pick a place, announce it and whoever turns up turns up. Not hard really. Can be a park, a cafe (will need to think about booking tables in advance if lots want to come along) or a pub. The only criteria you need is to be outgoing and able to talk to a vairty of people, as everyone turning up will look to you to make them feel welcome. If you do need topics, the basics are always good, like when did you first know, what led you into the scene, what do you do for a living....

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RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 8:19:32 AM

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Don't start your munch the same night at other munches and parties in the area. That way people won't have to choose between the two.

Make sure the restraunt has an area where you can talk privately. Most munches are vanilla in nature, however you don't want the restraunt to get mad at you for scaring other customers away.

Call the restraunt ahead of time to confirm your reservation.

Talk to the people at the munch and make sure they tip the staff well and treat them with respect.

Don't bad talk the other groups in the area.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. If I come up with more, I'll be back, In the meantime. Good luck. Running a munch can be hard work, but well worth it in the end.

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to zombiebabe)

RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 9:43:26 AM

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From: Apple County NY
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If the one you aren't invited back to has older people, then why not consider a TNG group? That way you will not be considered as competing or sour grapes, just looking for something different - people of your own age group.

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RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 11:53:33 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThundersCry

For a guy who has never been to a munch...or so you have said here...

How do you come to terms with giving advice...on starting one or even going to one?

That's a good question, because you're right - I haven't. That said "munch" is a pretty vague term. I've seen it used for meetings of 3-50+ people, in a living room or diner booth to a rented hotel conference center. Regardless of size, the origins can only be "people wanting to get together." It's not a complicated attractant. People love to talk shop and converse with other hobbyists, especially if the hobby is a way of life. In this regard, I have been to munches. Munches about religion, ethics, law, video games, anime, ren-fest-enthusiasm, body building, jewelers and jewelry, economic matters, politics, fashion, addiction, model trains - to name a few.

What you may have figured but didn't know about me, I give advice with only theoretical knowledge. Sometimes experience clouds the issue. While theories are primarily concerned with explanation, the real world is often clouded with "because" and "that's just the way it is." I'm not a big baker, in fact, I really only use the bags of pre-mixed stuff. That said, I have given fantastic advice about baking. A friend was trying to duplicate a mass marketed cookie and struggled with texture and shape. That requires advice of an expert baker... Or someone who decided to learn what each component of the cookie does. Turns out they needed double-acting baking powder and a lighter brown sugar for more lift and less browning.

Of course, all advice should be cross-checked against known data, and taken with suspicion of unknown motives or ignorance.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to ThundersCry)

RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 12:13:09 PM

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I won't make any assumptions, but either they are rude jerks or you are not tolerable in a munch setting. (Unless they specialize in something, like a leather family much to which you don't belong, etc.)

No, theyre a cult. Like I know the practice of harsh exclusion is really common in cults, and they also have A LOT of the signs http://www.prem-rawat-talk.org/forum/uploads/CultCharacteristics.htm
I was confiding in someone about the reasons I no longer go to a place where all the members go, this private discussion became public and yeah.
See, major cultic red flags right there. They cant tolerate anyone trashing their associations and group activities.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 12:23:25 PM

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From: in servitude
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Hi there!

i started 'my' munch purely because i figured Greenwich was a pervy place which just cried out for somewhere we all good go. Granted there are other munches in the area, but not close enough to really tread on anyone's toes, that i would be very careful of.

Make yours different to the others folk could go to. Do a little research by going to other munches (obviously not the one you got barred from) to see how they do it and what works/doesn't work. i have to say here, that before setting mine up i only went to two, but i always say that gave me a fresh approach...!

Be very aware that more often than not, folk go to several different munches and your reputation is important. You are the munch host (i prefer that to leader) and you are looked upon for guidance and what you say and how you act gets around and noticed. i do not pretend to be experienced, or all knowing as i most certainly am not, but that does not stop folk from assuming so. Never pretend to be something you aren't.

Be as welcoming as you can be without suffocating people. Always notice when someone new comes into the room and make sure you go over to them. It is a good idea to have name badges so that conversations can flow, but also because it means you are more likely to remember a name if you have watched someone write it. i say watched, because there is no possibility of spelling mistakes if they write it themselves lol!

You don;t need a theme, just let folk turn up. You will find that people are just happy to have somewhere regular to go to that they can natter about their fetish or the school run with like minded folk. It is fun sometimes to do something special though - we did a secret cupid at Valentines.

The more you do the easier you will find it. When i started the Greenwich munch i was totally and utterly terrified of talking to people i didn't know... Now i am alot less terrified lol!

Oh, and one huge thing. Have someone on hand to help you. My munch co-host had some bad news and had to resign last month. He has left the scene altogether. Without his initial help however the munch would not have been so successful and besides you need someone to huddle with, in the middle of that room, before the start so that you can worry about folk not coming lol! My Master has been a huge help and i have merged Him into being my new co-host so seemlessly that He hasn't even noticed lol! Honestly, it really does help to have back up. We have about 40 people each month and i couldn't have meaningful convos with all of them if i was on my own lol!

i wish you huge success, it's very exciting and well worth it!

gabrielle x

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 12:29:09 PM

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I think most people are missing the main points here.

The other Munch didn't want her so she starting her own and wants to do it in a park.

TNG Munches are a good place to start but starting a Munch because you want a place to go is the wrong reason to start a munch. if there is no community desire for a new munch you will be spending a lot of time by yourself.

Perhaps the reason the other munch did not want you (Which even you refuse to discuss) is a valid reason and you should take a look at that.

Public Munches can get UGLY and public places even when nothing "Wrong" is being done tends to draw attention to you and your group.

THINK BEFORE YOU ACT. Starting a Group out of a resentment is just an immature thing to do.

Steel

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(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 12:34:23 PM

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Its not resentment. I was mad but I'm over it now. I love the idea of munches and the other two here arent in my area, and I'd like to connect with these bdsm people.

I refuse to discuss it because I dont know if any of them are on this forum, cause there are a lot of members here from my city and there are only two munches I know of.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 1:33:01 PM

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If you want to start another munch, and your area is small it is going to difficult. As some have said don't have it on the same night as another munch. And maybe gear it towards a younger crowd. If you don't have a Next Generation group in your area you might want to think about having it a 30 and under crowd. Something that is different from the other munches. I find it hard to believe a munch would "exclude" you unless you said or did something that would make them want to do that. Usually they want more memebers not exclude people.

It is hard to start a new munch. A friend of mine and I started one in our area and it has been struggling since it started. Advertise in chat rooms that are for your geographical area. Get into some of the yahoo groups for your area and cross post about your munch there. You will have to get people interested and wanting to come out. Also if you are a newbie and trying this, it is going to be difficult. Usually people want someone who has some experience in the lifestyle. Good luck.

(in reply to zombiebabe)

RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 1:44:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilgirl2008
It is hard to start a new munch.

i disagree. You need to be committed and on top of things. You need to advertise and you need to be friendly. None of those things apart from the commitment thing is hard. Oh, unless you mean finding the balls to do it in the first place......yes, that was hard lol!

quote:

Also if you are a newbie and trying this, it is going to be difficult. Usually people want someone who has some experience in the lifestyle. Good luck.

Again, sorry but i have to disagree. With only two year's experience i consider myself to be very much a newbie and yet people are flocking to the munch. We have been going for five months and are getting 40+ folk each time. You do however have to have a market to fill. If there is no market, or not enough room for more competition then yes, you will struggle. i will not be resting on my laurels however, i am constantly selling the munch to anyone who will listen lol!

You could also say that it is unusal for a slave to be running a munch, but doesn't that go to show that anyone can do it??

gabrielle x

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to lilgirl2008)

RE: starting a munch - 3/1/2009 2:04:23 PM

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Look guys, it doesn't matter why the other munch decided to not have her. If you've been in the scene for any length of time, you'll know that some groups are run on a level of maturity that rivals a high school clique. Besides, this is EXACTLY how a local community gets built up: One group builds to a certian level, then begins to piss off the people who whom they feel "aren't exactly what they wanted in their circle." Boom! The "dumpees" go off an start their own group, which grows, until they get large enough that they too begin pissing people off... and so on, and so on... BDSM groups split, grow, and split again... like aomebas.

You want to build a munch of your own? Look into resraunts that are local to you that have backroom meeting spaces. That way, you can have your munch, good weather or bad. Don't sweat the parents. Tell them that you are going to a meeting of local art lovers... (take a sketchpad, and a few charcoal pencils as cover.) You're meeting them for lunch and you call it "snack and sketch." Ta-Da! A harmless lie that avoids any number of questions about your personal life. If you want to play afterward, you'll need to see if anyone attending can host, since I doubt your parents will sit still for that. It's either that, or you all chip in $20, and rent a hotel room for the evening. (preferrably one of those "executive condo" style establishments.)

Considering that the shit economy is forcing a lot of young pervs to move back in with their parents, this could become more and more common in the years to come. Some of my friends in Japan have this sort of thing down pat. But at least there, they have an entire industry devoted to "dating hotels." Once again, the US falls behind in social needs.

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

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