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a question for other masochists -- - 2/28/2009 9:02:13 PM

RainydayNE

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do you ever get carried away?
i've never really been able to openly explore my interest in various "sensations" until meeting my Dom and i think that, while accepting this side of me is good, i should also learn to reign it in. =p or atleast not get so carried away, so that i can effectively let him know what's going on with me.
how do you learn to keep it under control?

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RE: a question for other masochists -- - 2/28/2009 9:14:56 PM

ExKat

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To be honest, I get to a place where I couldn't tell him if I noticed the house was on fire. Lucky for me, Ex doesn't break his toys and I don't bruise.

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RE: a question for other masochists -- - 2/28/2009 9:16:10 PM

Juliannadelion

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From: circusofthedamned
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RainydayNE

do you ever get carried away?
i've never really been able to openly explore my interest in various "sensations" until meeting my Dom and i think that, while accepting this side of me is good, i should also learn to reign it in. =p or atleast not get so carried away, so that i can effectively let him know what's going on with me.
how do you learn to keep it under control?

That depends on what you think carried away is, lol....... I love it when my Lord beats me bloody. (got the pics to prove it!

) I rely on him to know when and what my limitations are because if truth be told, when I am in subspace, and so deeply into what he is doing to me, there is a definite possiblity that I would allow him to beat or choke me to death with a happy little smile on my face.

Part of what makes our relationship so special, is that he loves me enough to not let me get carried away to that point - and that's a beautiful thing.

For me, being a severe painslut/masochist means letting go, of not having any limitations and allowing him to explore the limits of my body as he sees fit. And when the line is crossed from painful to blissful, when every lash feels like never ending bliss, when the blood runs down my flesh, I am at my happiest and most content.

I wish you the very best of luck in exploring this side of yourself, I hope you enjoy it and no one ends up in the hospital.

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RE: a question for other masochists -- - 2/28/2009 9:37:42 PM

RainydayNE

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i guess what i mean is if something hurts in a way it wasn't meant to, but that in itself is interesting. =p so you just don't say anything because you're too busy being interested, if that makes sense? being a masochist is kind of complicated in a way.
this wasn't a serious "play" thing and there wasn't really subspace involved (i did have a mild altered state kind of caused by the thing that happened - endorphins i guess)

this is difficult to articulate...

like, hm...
i think i just mean... in situations where you're not in another state of consciousness, even if you're not even doing something sexual, how do you confine the masochism?
i've gone off to lalaland where i lost touch with reality, he is very good at noticing when something weird happens, and he did notice in this case even though i couldn't talk and explain what happened

how do you get yourself to go "this is cool but stopping wouldnt necessarily be bad, either"

i'm really just figuring out how i react to certain things and i think this was just really intersting/confusing to me =p haha

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RE: a question for other masochists -- - 2/28/2009 9:46:09 PM

RainydayNE

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Juliannadelion

there is a definite possiblity that I would allow him to beat or choke me to death with a happy little smile on my face.

see i think this is what is interesting/confusing to me =p i think i'm coming to terms with this about myself, and i've never had to really THINK about it

quote:

ORIGINAL : Juliannadelion
Part of what makes our relationship so special, is that he loves me enough to not let me get carried away to that point - and that's a beautiful thing.

For me, being a severe painslut/masochist means letting go, of not having any limitations and allowing him to explore the limits of my body as he sees fit.

see, in this case, i let myself go and wound up somewhere he didn't want me to go. and that's the issue i'm thinking about -- i think i'm a different sort of person than I THOUGHT i was. =p and i'm really starting to learn exactly what my responses to things really are. and i don't think it would make sense for me to expect him to just be able to figure stuff out when i dont even have anything figured out. or atleast not like i thought i did.
i'm finding my personal definition of what masochism is, and i think it isn't even what i thought it was in the beginning. =p
i think i should probably write some junk down and talk to him about it in person.

< Message edited by RainydayNE -- 2/28/2009 9:47:16 PM >

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RE: a question for other masochists -- - 2/28/2009 9:47:17 PM

Juliannadelion

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From: circusofthedamned
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There is nothing wrong with that sweetness! I wish I had a good answer for you.

I just have never been interested in trying to control myself where that was concerned. I am a true hedonist at heart and if a little bit is good, a whole lot of it must be GREAT!

There are lots of masochists here, so I am sure someone will wander in with some good advice, I'm just going to get you injured, lol......

I do hope you find the answers you seek.

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RE: a question for other masochists -- - 2/28/2009 9:50:14 PM

RainydayNE

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Juliannadelion

if a little bit is good, a whole lot of it must be GREAT!

that iiiisss... very true =p very.

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RE: a question for other masochists -- - 2/28/2009 11:34:49 PM

silkncarol

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I suppose it would depend on your idea of what "carried away" meant.......
For myself, yes i've gotten carried away.....where i've been so far out there during play that my Dom stopped the scene...even with my reassurances i was fine..or so i thought at the time. There wasn't any pain, it was just a great warmth and i was so diggin it, i would have been happy if he'd beat me to a bloody pulp.
I trusted him to keep me safe when my judgement was impaired and he did just that.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: RainydayNE

do you ever get carried away?
i've never really been able to openly explore my interest in various "sensations" until meeting my Dom and i think that, while accepting this side of me is good, i should also learn to reign it in. =p or atleast not get so carried away, so that i can effectively let him know what's going on with me.
how do you learn to keep it under control?

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RE: a question for other masochists -- - 3/1/2009 5:15:30 PM

pinkwind

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Frankly i don't rein in the masochist, i let the old girl have her head, hopefully following natural tangents safe in the knowledge that i have a man who, no matter the temptation, has control over the Sadist.

my place is to give, and that means everything, it isn't for me to control but to open myself up to whatever happens, enjoy for the most part, endure all else, explore all.

< Message edited by pinkwind -- 3/1/2009 5:16:19 PM >

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RE: a question for other masochists -- - 3/1/2009 7:32:32 PM

RainydayNE

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hmm... i think i may've misworded what i was trying to say.
i'm talking about situations where pain is not intended nor even the goal. when you're NOT involved in s&m.
when you risk injury to yourself and risk his future enjoyment of you because you're too interested in something that wasn't supposed to happen.
if that makes sense?

i don't bother trying to control the maso when the time is right, but i also think at certain times she can cause more harm than good?

< Message edited by RainydayNE -- 3/1/2009 7:34:06 PM >

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RE: a question for other masochists -- - 3/1/2009 7:55:11 PM

pinkwind

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i have a hard time keeping myself in check ordinarily, and i do have a tendency to overdo things physically when i am focused on experiencing, enjoying a certain activity that has grabbed my rapt attention.

With what ails me the damage that i do myself only really becomes apparent hours, sometimes days later, when i frankly am unable to walk. There are times when i take myself off for a 4 day tourist trip, say to London, where i have a hotel to go back and flop out in between day trips and the evening's theatre run. Travel day one, day trips out and evening entertainment on days 2 and 3, travel back on day 4. By day 7 i am completely wiped out.

Point is i know it's going to happen, so to hell with it, i go balls to the wall, do as much as i can, immerse myself in the whole experience of the place, meet folk, go to dinner, walk the length of the South Bank book hunting and people watching, cram in as much as one little old lady on crutches can, deny that fatigue is perched on my shoulder, try to be whole for a while.

So no, i don't really try to rein myself in at all, just live life and pay for it later, have spurts and then days and weeks of pain and immobility, and some decent memories, things to look forward to doing and seeing.

People think i am cracked in the head, but when most days are clouded by pain meds any escape from the norm is so welcome, despite the damage, it's almost vital that i don't stop doing what i do to stay energised.

< Message edited by pinkwind -- 3/1/2009 7:56:43 PM >

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RE: a question for other masochists -- - 3/1/2009 8:00:06 PM

RainydayNE

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well you definitely have a good point in the fact that reigning yourself in at all doesnt' have to be done anyway =p
i've been thinking about it off and on today and i think that it may not necessarily be bad to the let the maso go as long as i understand what's going on
and i think i'm really just starting to understand it =p
as long as everyone has fun and everyone is consenting or whatever, it's fine

there's a part of me that's overly (heinously) concerned with "what ifs"
i think i say "what if something bad happens" atleast ... three times a day? which... eh

i'm wondering if my concern over it is part of my "old self" trying to overshadow the "new self" that is just starting to come to the forefront? i dunno

i suppose this is what journals are for, oui?

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RE: a question for other masochists -- - 3/1/2009 8:11:43 PM

pinkwind

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Personally, spending time wondering "what if" wastes valuable time that could be better used experiencing life. Shit might happen, then again it might not, we all have to live with that, but you make value judgements and trade offs, and then get down to the task of living.

Once you get the measure of what actually does happen when you let yourself live you tend to start building mechanisms to help cope into the future, it happens despite yourself, it's automatic to an extent, self preservation.

Remember, humans have instincts, even after so much evolution, and you can and should learn to trust them to help keep you whole. If you don't you will end up having a safe but rather unfulfilled life.

EDITED to add that letters to self can be a help!

< Message edited by pinkwind -- 3/1/2009 8:13:12 PM >

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RE: a question for other masochists -- - 3/1/2009 8:14:38 PM

RainydayNE

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkwind

If you don't you will end up having a safe but rather unfulfilled life.

indeedily, this is what i'm coming to realise.
i guess i was raised to always seek safety, even if it isn't REALLY safety, but what... self-denial maybe?
this whole "issue" is rife with ideas i haven't quite got words for yet.

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