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Is love important in a relationship - 3/8/2004 9:21:10 PM

tweetygirl

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Do Dommes think love is important in a relationship. Do you need to love your sub and care about her. Or can you just have her and not love her. I am just curious what evervbody thinks.

Amanda

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 3/8/2004 10:26:21 PM

Estring

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Speaking for myself, I am always looking to have a loving relationship with any slave I am involved with. The level of trust and commitment in this lifestyle makes it crucial for me to really care for my slave. And having deep feelings for each other seems to make the D/s aspect even better in my opinion. And how could you not love that girl kneeling and kissing your feet?

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 3/8/2004 10:27:45 PM

Estring

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Ooops. I guess this question was for the female Doms huh?

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 3/8/2004 10:41:10 PM

tweetygirl

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the question is to everybody. I just saw Dominants in some chat rooms say love isnt important and just wanted to ask what people think i wanted to start a discussion Male Doms, Fem Doms, subs, slaves, or anybody can answer. I am just wondering if there is different feelings about this.

Amanda

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 3/9/2004 11:12:52 AM

Sylverdawn

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I dont think its a requirement.. service in its purest form is about commitment and duty.. on both sides.. I dont have to be in love with a submissive/slave and I certainly dont have to love a bottom to beat him.. but in a long term Master/slave relationship there has to be a commitment to it..and a recognition of the duties that the commitment makes on you.. I believe that it is more than likely that over time caring, concern and love grows.. but it doesnt ever have to be that romantic love ... so no I dont believe is a requirment to be IN love with your sub.

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 3/18/2004 10:15:44 PM

MistressKiss

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For me...being in a loving D/s relationship is like nothing else on the earth. It is wonderful to be able to share so many aspects of our lives with another person. I think that love adds to the dynamic and makes everything even more intense. It would always be my choice to be involved with a fellow kinkster that I also loved.

Note that I did not say "am in love with". I don't feel it has to be the flowery, romantic kind of love - the hearts and flowers thing. I would prefer, for me, that it was that, but just loving the person is also very rewarding. I love easily - I don't fall in love easily but I am good at expressing love to those I feel affection for.

On the down side, the breakup, if it happens, is hell for a long period of time. But, isn't that true with any breakup?

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 3/24/2004 6:26:37 PM

Blklitemushrooms

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In the relationships I pursue, love is essential.
The fun wouldnt be there without at least a little.

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 3/25/2004 9:15:05 AM

BlackGoddess

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I guess it depends on the type of slave ~ For example, I wouldn't want to love my toilet slave, but I would want to love my sex slave. Pain slut - no love; houseboy - love.

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 4/3/2004 1:11:34 PM

Mistress Mary

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quote:

Do Dommes think love is important in a relationship. Do you need to love your sub and care about her. Or can you just have her and not love her. I am just curious what evervbody thinks.

Amanda

Brings back that age old question "Whats love got to do with it?" In my experience most subs shy away from love or attachment so it is easier to "care" about them yes.I think that "love" is for more of a vanilla relationship.Why express "love" if it's not shared by both parties.

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[Deleted] - 4/3/2004 1:49:46 PM

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 4/3/2004 4:29:42 PM

iwillserveu

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Depends.

I can bottom for almost any woman. In that respect love is irrelevant.

I would need to "love" her to wax her floor or shovel her walk. (Sorry, snow is on my mind.) "Love" is in quotes because a "crush" or "puppy love" or another type of viewing her through rose-colored glasses would do in a pinch.

Besides, I'd have to love her. How much choice would a slave get? (I just have to pick the Mistress I'll love very judiciously.

)

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 4/3/2004 6:10:46 PM

inyouagain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tweetygirl
Do Dommes think love is important in a relationship. Do you need to love your sub and care about her. Or can you just have her and not love her. I am just curious what evervbody thinks.

Great question Amanda. There's a post in the General BDSM Discussion forum concerning Romance and Domination that you may find to be interesting reading.

Inyouagain

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 4/6/2004 10:34:58 PM

knees2you

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knees here~ unfortunately some Domms or Dommes are just looking for things like, money and don't care about love that is there way of humiliating a slave or submissve,

sincerely, knees2You

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 4/7/2004 1:59:27 PM

confusetheswede

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for master and slave realtionship, b/c that is permenant, yes love is needed. for the the dom/sub realtionship, it's not nessary because they are fucking and have no commitment.

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 4/7/2004 3:15:32 PM

SarcasticBitch

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I love my husband/sub deeply that's why I married him. I don't think it's necessary or even desireable to love someone you're just playing with though. You can care about them, you can feel compassion for them. Love is an emotion that should run deeper than casual play, or feeling for the person who comes in to clean your house and get spanked.

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 4/7/2004 6:58:38 PM

knees2you

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ok here's my take. i have met this Domme, {She prefers to be called Ma`am} and we are building trust first going twords Love. i look at a bdsm relationship 2 ways. subs in a stable, and single subs with 1 Domme or Domm. if You are Married better yet for the sub and Domme or Domm.

sincerely, knees2You

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if a snake bites before it is charmed there is no profit
for the charmer~

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 4/7/2004 7:56:45 PM

UtahGoddess

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I think love is essential in any interaction where you have to consider another person's wellbeing, feelings, buttons, baggage, etc...and where it is your intention to teach or train them. Even Topping someone requires some empathy and affection.

What is not reqired is "in loveness". I don't have to have that heart pounding, can't live without you...wanna spend my life with you ... kind of love to Dominate or train or guide you.

As for a permanant partner....yes, I believe "in loveness" is required.

Ms Sandi :)

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 4/8/2004 2:25:22 AM

tweetygirl

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only way i would sub for anybody is if there is love there. I wouldnt go thru all the stuff if there isnt love. cause being a sub would be tough without love. i figure might be same for dominant. but to be a sub and to serve somebody for love is one thing. but to serve somebody with no love and not get anything out of it i would never do.

Amanda

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 4/8/2004 8:47:59 AM

MistressDREAD

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your question is not complete tweetygirl as you dident address all of Us OTHER DOMMES whom have more then a sub relationship. This question to ME cannot be answered in My terms as a Dominant with out a definition of what kind of Love relationship you ask about to expand your understandings of a larger picture.
I love My Poly n BDSM Lifestyle
I love My fellow Lifestylers
I love My human posessions
I love to scene with other Lifestylers in a Group setting
I love My Dominants
however I am NOT
INLOVE with My Fellow Lifestylers
NOT INLOVE with My human posessions
NOT INLOVE with other Lifestylers I scene with
and NOT even INLOVE with My Dominants in My Life at times.
LOL did that clear up your need to know with a different point of view tweetygirl? ~smiles~

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RE: Is love important in a relationship - 4/9/2004 12:47:51 AM

MisPandora

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Amanda,

I think it's a personal thing, and it really depends on the nature of the relationship. I don't love a cleaning slave or someone who is tasked to do specific things for me. I may cherish them, or value their service to me, but it is clearly not a LOVE situation.

On the other hand, my personal slave -- with the sensuality, the devotion and the commitment I require, there must be attachment, there must be drive, there must be attraction and therefore, love is inevitable. It's an unbreakable chain around the heart.....

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Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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