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RE: Narrow Mindedness - 9/13/2004 8:41:22 PM

cellis

Posts: 25
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

I am more submissive than dominate but I do consider myself to be a switch... a poor excuse for one but a switch none the less... I have experienced the prejudices of being bisexual and not lesbian as well.

Sad when you think about it.... there is a gamut... a wide range and there should be room for us all.

Hello cellis, I had a couple of comments.

submissive is an adjective, dominate is a verb. The word you are looking for is dominant. :)

Secondly, I am not sure I think it is sad as an infinitive. The problem, to me, is that too many people are slaves to their preconceptions and unable to think outside their minds
and consider that perhaps (*shocked look*) other people might actually be DIFFERENT than they are. For myself, I find the only real emotion I can come up with is a sense of pity for people trapped in their assumptions and preconceptions.

"I used to be disgusted, now Im just amused." Elvis Costello.

Good luck in your journey, cellis.

Sinergy

I did not know that one had to have perfect grammar to post here.

I am not perfect... but I would never presume to pick a part someone's post as you have done with mine.

I overlook such small things... Like is just too short...

(in reply to Sinergy)

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Post #: 21

RE: Narrow Mindedness - 9/14/2004 12:20:58 AM

newflowers

Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline

Laura,

Perhaps you could try "thank you for letting me know. the next time i am in need of an unsolicted and ignorant opinion, i'll be sure to look to you."

Well, that may qualify as bitchy, bitchy but appropriate.

newflowers

(in reply to Laura)

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Post #: 22

RE: Narrow Mindedness - 9/14/2004 6:57:05 AM

cellis

Posts: 25
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: newflowers

Laura,

Perhaps you could try "thank you for letting me know. the next time i am in need of an unsolicted and ignorant opinion, i'll be sure to look to you."

Well, that may qualify as bitchy, bitchy but appropriate.

newflowers

You almost made me spew this morning!

(in reply to newflowers)

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Post #: 23

RE: Narrow Mindedness - 9/14/2004 9:44:36 AM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

It was a while ago now but I wrote something along the lines of 'I learn more from sites with open minds'.

cellis, Sinergy was pointing out a common error. If you're into BDSM, D/s etc you should learn the spelling to save yourself from looking like you don't know what you're talking about. Of course, it all depends on what kind of person you're looking to meet here. There's never a short supply of hngs and newbies. The newbies are welcome to come and learn/ explore. If you chose not to learn that's your own difficulty.

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Post #: 24

RE: Narrow Mindedness - 9/14/2004 8:15:39 PM

cellis

Posts: 25
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Laura

It was a while ago now but I wrote something along the lines of 'I learn more from sites with open minds'.

cellis, Sinergy was pointing out a common error. If you're into BDSM, D/s etc you should learn the spelling to save yourself from looking like you don't know what you're talking about. Of course, it all depends on what kind of person you're looking to meet here. There's never a short supply of hngs and newbies. The newbies are welcome to come and learn/ explore. If you chose not to learn that's your own difficulty.

I know the difference and was careless... sometimes my mind is faster than the eye...

But... for your benefit... I did not find that those comments had anything to do with openmindedness or learning...

I don't care to go into this any further in this thread... that is not the purpose of the thread.

If any one cares to discuss my "poor choice of wording" then pm me...

Otherwise... why I am here is my business...

(in reply to Laura)

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Post #: 25

RE: Narrow Mindedness - 9/15/2004 7:22:21 PM

WayHome

Posts: 237
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline

All this talk about prejudice and people stating that they don't let trolls and small-brains get them down made me think of something a black man on TV said many years ago (I forget who)

He said that biggots never bothered him. That people filled with hate lived in the world they deserved and he could always dissmiss them. What got under his skin though was subtle racism. The little things from people who he interacted with daily and who were often close--co-workers, clerks, friends, etc who didn't hate blacks or even think of themselves as racist, but who made certain assumptions that, because they were small and often unintentional, were also intractable. That's what got him down.

I suspect it's the same for any "group" that is the object of prejudice. It gets old being in a conversation with other humans and then seeing a glint of a small prejudice that undermines the dialog and chips at your humanity, but defies confrontation.

Leto

(in reply to Sinergy)

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Post #: 26

RE: Narrow Mindedness - 9/22/2004 5:02:33 PM

ElegantFreak

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline

After reading a bit I had to give my two cents LOL so here goes. I agree with their is a balance in us all that we TRY to keep atleast some of us but I would also say that even the "Switch" leans more to one side either D or S. But I also must state being the Skitzo I am.

hehehe That it is a Thin line between the two

(in reply to Sinergy)

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Post #: 27

RE: Narrow Mindedness - 9/25/2004 6:12:47 AM

cynnacent1

Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline

i am in no way a switch or capable of topping, my submissiveness runs far to deep for that. However, as an open minded individual who would never be so ignorant as to believe i know exactly what others are capable of in such respects, or what makes them who they are, i would never attempt to label or judge. Not being a switch, i have no experience with offering the perfect reply to such, but when dealing with those types when i have felt a need to indulge in offering a bitchy comment, i have responded many times with the following:

"i will not pretend to know what your problem is, but i would be willing to bet it is difficult to pronounce. Does your HMO cover physcological analysis?".

or

"Your ignorance will be excused *this* time as i sometimes feel charitable in offering pardon to those who have an IQ of a two yet require a 3 just to grunt.".

or

"That's amazing. Now, if i were to give you a penny for any other thoughts you may feel a need to answer, .... ummm... i get change back? Right??".

i don't let the ignor-anus types get to me, i grab the opportunity to find the humor in it all when i can ( and then i block/ignore them).

< Message edited by cynnacent1 -- 9/25/2004 6:15:01 AM >

(in reply to Sinergy)

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Post #: 28

RE: Narrow Mindedness - 9/27/2004 9:07:40 AM

INSIDEYOURMIND

Posts: 483
Status: offline

I remember Andrew Dice Clay had a bit about bisexual guys, he used to say "What do they do, get up in the morning and flip a coin? Heads it's hairpie, and tails it's balls across the nose?" Do switches flip a coin and say, Heads its my red ass, or tails it's theirs?
I will continue to extoll the virtues of my Baskin Robbin's theory, with 31 flavors, there got to be one everyone will like!

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RE: Narrow Mindedness - 9/27/2004 12:30:42 PM

ElegantFreak

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/19/2004
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I would assume that comment is to me about the "cents" well all I can say is HOORAA cynnacent1! that is the way to "Take Control" of a conversation or even to "Dominate" the conversation LOL roflmao but I am sorry you are Submissive correct? LOL.

To note on the bisexual guy thing also (and this is just a question) if you masterbate does that make you bisexual or gay for you are having sex with the same sex (yourself) Hmmmmmmm I would say that is one to ponder. ;)

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)

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Post #: 30

RE: Narrow Mindedness - 11/1/2004 1:53:54 PM

AlphaGeek

Posts: 86
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: Charlottesville, VA, but in Orlando for a temp job
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Laura

As a Switch, how do you react to people who "don't believe in that concept"? Do you ignore it, does it offend you or do you have some great comeback?

In my observation, the people that rave about how being a switch is an invalid path often tout in their profiles how they are either a "Twue Dominate" or "twue submittive".

In either case, it is my belief that those naysayers haven't been around the real world block enough to go to munches/socials/play parties/etc and meet many people, otherwise, they would have probably encountered switches and been either enlightened or bonked on the nose. :)

What do I do? If they are asking reasonable questions, I'll discuss it with 'em. If they are simply saying that my path isn't "twue", I'll ignore them.

A_G, the 95% toppy switch.

(in reply to Laura)

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RE: Narrow Mindedness - 11/1/2004 11:07:47 PM

Thanatosian

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

quote:

To note on the bisexual guy thing also (and this is just a question) if you masterbate does that make you bisexual or gay for you are having sex with the same sex (yourself) Hmmmmmmm I would say that is one to ponder. ;)

I would think that would make you an autosexual or monosexual rather than bi or gay

Just my tuppence.

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Post #: 32

RE: Narrow Mindedness - 12/1/2004 9:09:29 PM

Oakfrost

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/1/2004
From: PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Laura

As a Switch, how do you react to people who "don't believe in that concept"? Do you ignore it, does it offend you or do you have some great comeback?

I had someone kind of rude on an email list and I did indulge in a bitchy comment. I wasn't too offensive but I was peeved. I really wanted to have the perfect comeback to that narrow minded cliquy-ness.

(I won't post the URL to his BDSM discussion board as that would only give him traffic).

Just ignore them. I have been a switch for quite some time. There are those who believe that they are always "Right" when there is no right or wrong in this scene. Just ignore them and know that they are mostly HNGs with no idea of the scene itself.

A true person in the scene knows that everyone has their preferences...and even if they can't understand it, they respect it.

(in reply to Laura)

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Post #: 33

RE: Narrow Mindedness - 12/14/2004 10:21:14 AM

srahfox

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
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Well, I'm a submissive.. sorry everyone I just wondered in. I have absolutely now desire to dominate someone else. However I am bi and have incountered the same problem. The straits think there is something wrong with me and the gays don't believe me. (I know, not everyone feels that way) I had to fight that with a friend who later became my first lover. I always just tell them I am what I am and if they don't like it... no one said I needed them in my life. How sad to walk around assuming everyone should fit into a little box. That thought was what kept me from even knowing I was Bi for so long. You have to be one of the other right??

(in reply to Sinergy)

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Post #: 34