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Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/7/2009 3:20:24 AM

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What would be your top reasons for wanting a slave/submissive in your life ?

Is there anything that you find unattractive about owning a slave/submissive (bad habits that you dont want) ?

Can a dominant fall in love with another dominant (Domme) is this common or insane to pursue a D/D relationship ?
Is this dangerous and not recommended ?

RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/7/2009 4:07:12 AM

Kana

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What would be your top reasons for wanting a slave/submissive in your life ?
1-You have to be kidding right?
I mean, aside, from the sex and the service and the fact it fills one of my core needs...

Is there anything that you find unattractive about owning a slave/submissive (bad habits that you dont want) ?
2-If she has a habit that drives me crazy, and I cannot train her out of it, I better take a good look in the mirror before I start blaming her.

Can a dominant fall in love with another dominant (Domme) is this common or insane to pursue a D/D relationship ?
Is this dangerous and not recommended ?
3-Sure you can. I have Domme friends, one or two I have been attracted too in the past.
I even slept with one once-an awful experience.
We didn't have sex, we had a civil war in bed, each trying to take control.
Sexually, it just didn't add up and that sounds like a disaster to me.

Just my experience, as always.

(in reply to zero69u2)

RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/7/2009 4:59:01 AM

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actually thats a good question - pity im not qualified to answer - but im interested in what different people might say in their different ways

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RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/7/2009 5:18:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2

What would be your top reasons for wanting a slave/submissive in your life ?

Because having them in my life would be fulfilling in some way.

quote:

Is there anything that you find unattractive about owning a slave/submissive (bad habits that you dont want) ?

I would be hard pressed to own someone who did not want to develop spiritually and emotionally.

quote:

Can a dominant fall in love with another dominant (Domme) is this common or insane to pursue a D/D relationship ?
Is this dangerous and not recommended ?

What would be dangerous about this? People love who they love.

Master Fire

_____________________________

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(in reply to zero69u2)

RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/7/2009 5:28:20 AM

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The question could just as easily be reversed: Why would a slave want a Master in her life? Would there be habits that she would not like? In the slave's position it is more difficult to change the bad habits of a Master than the other way around.

In the best Master/slave relationships both are getting pleasure and fulfillment from the arrangement. It may include sex, various tasks, or some type of sado-masochism. It can range from sessions only to marriage and a lifetime commitment.

One of the best things about this lifestyle is that it doesn't matter if the choices you make are common or unique. What is important is that you and your partner(s) are getting what you need from it. Of course you can fall in love with a Domme. There are profiles of Dom/Domme couples who look for someone to be a sub to both. One slave can fall in love with another, but since most slaves crave not just pleasing their partner but some form of control it could be difficult.

If you don't think that you really want a slave then by all means don't take one. For most slaves to flourish they need to feel appreciated for the things that they do for their Master. There are some exceptions to this rule but they are rare.

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RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/7/2009 5:33:01 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2

What would be your top reasons for wanting a slave/submissive in your life ?

The reason I have a slave in my life is becasue when pursuing a relationship I prefer men and women who will not be constantly battling for power within that relationship. I am the leader, and they are the follower. I dont want someone I have to break to be that, I want someone who will be happy in that position from the beginning.

quote:

Is there anything that you find unattractive about owning a slave/submissive (bad habits that you dont want) ?

Self centeredness, close mindedness, and a superiority complex all really bother me in slaves I have previously owned. Just because someone is the Alpha doesnt mean the can be the dom when I am not around, though some have thought that was their place.

quote:

Can a dominant fall in love with another dominant (Domme) is this common or insane to pursue a D/D relationship ?
Is this dangerous and not recommended ?

I have been in very successful D/D relationships as long as the lines are drawn in the beginning. Like I said with why I prefer submissive partners, as long as there will not be a struggle it works out fine. Dangerous? Theres the potential for a dangerous relationship with D/s ones as well, it isnt the role, its the person. Love doesnt tend to check titles before it happens, your chemistry with another person regardless of a lot of factors about them, works in mysterous ways.

DV

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(in reply to zero69u2)

RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/7/2009 1:04:09 PM

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Answering for Val cause I can....

quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2

What would be your top reasons for wanting a slave/submissive in your life ?

I'd assume that most people are looking because humans tend to like being in relationships (of varying kinds of course) and this happens to be their prefered style. Val sort of... stumbled into this when we got together.

quote:

Is there anything that you find unattractive about owning a slave/submissive (bad habits that you dont want) ?

He can't stand submissives/slaves who can't/won't function on their own, won't work, wouldn't tell him if they were unhappy, have the "matyr" complex and take their submission too seriously.

quote:

Can a dominant fall in love with another dominant (Domme) is this common or insane to pursue a D/D relationship ?
Is this dangerous and not recommended ?

I wouldn't call it common from my experience but I do know that it happens. For some people it works and for others it doesn't. If the people are honestly in love and willing to do what has to be done to make things work... Well I'm a romantic would say give it a shot!

Edited because I misunderstood a question

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 3/7/2009 1:05:55 PM >

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(in reply to zero69u2)

RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/7/2009 7:18:42 PM

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Thanks for the responses.. I just asked out of curiosity.. to see what other people's reasons are for wanting a submissive and what they look for and don't look for in a submissive.

I think D/D relationships for me only work in the plutonic sense... Have met several D's who i enjoyed their compainionship and could definately see again in a going out together sense.
but did'nt go to bedroom with them because I felt a personality clash of control would arise and we both dont want to have our control tested or space pushed upon.. I think it can be great friendship though for going out in a more vanilla sense.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/8/2009 2:35:30 PM

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From: England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2
What would be your top reasons for wanting a slave/submissive in your life ?

I've never had anything else. Long before I knew what BDSM was, long before I had heard of it, I had come to the realisation (with help from an ex) that I always behaved in a dominant manner with the woman in my life. Sometimes she didn't like it (hence that particular ex) but most times my attraction to a woman stems from her willingness to submit to me, demonstrated in some way or another.

quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2
Is there anything that you find unattractive about owning a slave/submissive (bad habits that you dont want) ?

If I'm being picky, everyone has things I don't like about them (including myself). With a woman who is my acknowledged sub or slave, it is up to me to sort that out. Which leaves the only thing unattractive about her is if she resists (as opposed to merely reacts against) attempts to change her.

quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2
Can a dominant fall in love with another dominant (Domme) is this common or insane to pursue a D/D relationship ?
Is this dangerous and not recommended ?

I have had dominant women who are submissive to me. So long as they drive themselves in the right direction, they have been a joy. It would not make sense for me to deliberately seek a dominant woman who did not want to submit to me - as friendss or business partners, we could get along but not domestically.

(in reply to zero69u2)

RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/8/2009 2:56:41 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2
Is there anything that you find unattractive about owning a slave/submissive (bad habits that you dont want)

I remember the first time I washed up upon the shores of CM. I once had the notion that folks out here were pretty much the same as their "vanilla" counterparts with a twist. The more time I spend out here the more I have been swayed to a different belief.

There are exceptions to every rule but to make a sweeping generalization, which I love to do, one must consider the thought that there are a butt load of really fucked inividuals in pursuit of this thang. Many of these damaged knucklefucks have reached this "need" based upon some pretty tumultuous and horrid events that have transpired within the course of their lives.

It's fucked up. I am also sure it is on both sides of the CM coin. I just don't want built in toxicity within my relationships. It is hard enough to traverse these waters when you got the majority of your fuckducks in a row.

That's all for now.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 3/8/2009 2:57:11 PM >

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RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/9/2009 10:53:17 AM

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From: The Brink of insanity.
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quote:

What would be your top reasons for wanting a slave/submissive in your life ?

Though I have and have had submissives I prefer slaves. As for Top reasons?

10. I cannot fathom living life without seeing a woman at My feet.
9. It's great coming home after work to a house with a naked woman in it.
8. The blood rush after a strong session affects Myself as much as it does the slave.
7. The bonds created can last beyond the collar.
6. Who doesn't want a live in maid?
5. Being there for My girl when she needs Master.
4. Making new toys with My hands is a great hobby and keeps Me off the pipe.
3. A slaves flesh is like looking at a clean canvas before the beauty is brought out.
2. Being Master means you never have to admit your wrong, even when I am wrong I am still right. (chuckles)
1. The aerobic workout you get from flogging your slave is intense!

quote:

Is there anything that you find unattractive about owning a slave/submissive (bad habits that you dont want) ?

Well bad habits can be worked through with proper training. We all have them and we all wish we did not. But what I find most unatractive in any sub/slave is misrepresentation or claiming they are something they are not. The most important thing in BDSM to Me is Discipline. Now granted not everyone has great Discipline but having at least a little bit is a major requirement to Me. When I see a girl claiming to be a slave and her mouth writes checks her ass cannot cover that is horrid. A slave is the most beautiful creature there is to Me. I see many girls who are just submissives or at best a woman with a fetish in the wrong territory claiming to be a slave cause they think it sounds cool. That is very unatractive and disrespectful to the girls who have endured much to lay claim to that title.

quote:

Can a dominant fall in love with another dominant (Domme) is this common or insane to pursue a D/D relationship ?
Is this dangerous and not recommended ?

Yes Doms can fall in love with each other and succeed in a relationship. I have seen it many times. The key in it is communication, understanding, and tolerance of needs. I know of two couples in particular that have been married for 15 years. One couple is a Dom/Dom who found the other couple who is sub/sub. And now, both couples live within the same household and the married subs are the pets for the married Doms. A one in a million scenario but still, if you want it bad enough and love each other. As long as you work hard enough you can get anything you wish.

Hope I helped. I wish you well.

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..................................................................DON'T!

(in reply to domiguy)

RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/9/2009 11:42:35 AM

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The previous replies were interesting. Thanks for the thoughts, and the laugh as well.

I do have doubts about the intent of the OP. However, since others have been good enough to contribute, I'll answer as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2

What would be your top reasons for wanting a slave/submissive in your life ?

Because having this life brings joy to Me. Granted, it brings struggles as well. The positive so outweighs the negative.

My boy is a service sub over and above all. It's one of his inner drives that I be happy with him.

My sub is also a masochist, who is an excellent match for My sadism.

My boy craves structure, which is a good fit for My love affair with protocol and ritual.

quote:

Is there anything that you find unattractive about owning a slave/submissive (bad habits that you dont want) ?

All people can have bad habits, depending on perspective. For example, My boy is a morning person. On the other hand, I am not. When he's here and not deployed somewhere, it's not unusual for Me to wake up with him banging around the kitchen, listening to "The Hamster Dance" (we now have a rule about that song) when I am still attempting to infuse enough caffeine for Me to open My eyes. Potentially, it sounds bad. The truth of it is, he's usually in that kitchen preparing My breakfast.

If you're asking whether or not I would change him, the answer would be no. For all that he is, there is no one that I want more on the other side of the kneel.

quote:

Can a dominant fall in love with another dominant (Domme) is this common or insane to pursue a D/D relationship ?
Is this dangerous and not recommended ?

Absolutely they can. Any person can fall in love with any other person, regardless of role. We are, in fact, people first. How common it is, I really couldn't say, because I have no clue of how the percentages work out when comparing the total number of kinky folks in regards to how many D/D relationships are out there. The same can be said of s/s couples.

My husband came to his Dominant side later in life through My introduction. I wouldn't want him to be submissive to Me because that is not his personality, nor the person I fell in love with.

I can't help but ask, why would this be "dangerous?" Would you hold the theory that two grown people don't know how to manage themselves in relation to each other if they were both D types?

I'm sure there could be issues if certain needs/wants couldn't be obtained by other methods. Casual play, poly, and other countless options abound.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to zero69u2)

RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/9/2009 12:53:44 PM

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From: Portland, Oregon
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2

What would be your top reasons for wanting a slave/submissive in your life ?

I really enjoy the dynamic and find it an easier way to express myself. I find that I can have relationships that don't start with a lot of false assumptions this way. Also, I'm a bit of a freak, and I relish having a partner who is a bit of a freak also. I love exploring a twisted mind. ("Twisted" used here as hyperbole; I don't find most things actually "twisted".)

quote:

Can a dominant fall in love with another dominant (Domme) is this common or insane to pursue a D/D relationship ? ? ...

Hmmm, I dunno!
I would guess there probably a way to work out anything though...

(in reply to zero69u2)

RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/9/2009 8:08:46 PM

dreamerdreaming

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My slave and I share a common goal: self-actualization, or self-realization. We are uniquely qualified to help each other bring our goals and dreams to fruition. Within our power transfer dynamic, we are enabled to become more and more ourselves with each passing day. To live the life that we were born for.

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(in reply to zero69u2)

RE: Slave/submissive for what reason - 3/9/2009 9:59:51 PM

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1))) building the trust so that i can explore the area's that most cant with the ocassioal partner,plus i'm a Commanding Prick.

2))) if i take a slave she doesnt have something i find unappealing,it may be a quirk,but thosw things are easily fixed.

3)) there is romance and love amonst all types,,we know alot of Dominant couples,,besides my pet who is a slave is also a Mistress to other women and right now she has 2.

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