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A bondage "problem" - 3/9/2009 6:50:09 AM   
Ihmenjo


Posts: 12
Joined: 6/18/2007
Status: offline 		After stupidity, I realize, wow, there is a much BETTER place for me to post this... now I just have to find the Moderators and request that my other post be deleted.

I have a girlfriend who has decided to pursue a lifestyle relationship with me.  Recently, however, the topic of bondage came up.  Now, normally, this would not be a problem, but safety is a major issue here.

She has lower back problems.  It's not severe to the point of being disfiguring or anything like that, but it is bad enough that she needs to limit lifting things such as heavy objects and such.  As I previously said, safety is a major issue here.  I want to be as safe as possible and ensure that she doesn't get injured or hurt because of something stupid that I do.  A slight problem is that I like complex bondage.  I really enjoy bondage, in and of itself, as an art form, rather than something sexual (though, certainly, it does have it's own sexual undertones!!).  I already know that I'm going to avoid hogties and any sort of tie that will force her back to contort, so I've been researching a lot of upper-body ties that involved the arms as well as a few different ties that pertain to the legs.

I was wondering if anyone had any tips or similar experiences, as I'm very new to the real life world of bondage.  Yes, I've seen many a tutorial on how to tie someone as well as formulated a few of my own ties, but I wanted to know if anyone could give me suggestions and other sorts of general advice. 

< Message edited by Ihmenjo -- 3/9/2009 6:52:31 AM >
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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/9/2009 8:20:27 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I would think that consulting with her back doctor regarding movements/positions/durations that are acceptable would be a good idea.  I think it would be ideal if you can be open with the doctor about your plans. 
Best wishes, 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to Ihmenjo)
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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/10/2009 10:43:25 PM   
cagliostro


Posts: 128
Joined: 12/29/2007
Status: offline 		It depends a lot on the actual problem.  Some people have spinal problems that can pinch nerves even when they're not contorted.  Other people have persistent nerve problems that result in abnormal sensation, such as excessive pain under slight pressure.  Sometimes it's the discs separating the vertebrae.  They can be inflamed or easily irritated.

My best advice is just talk a lot.  If she feels anything abnormal treat it just like any other safe word and stop.  The back is a tricky piece of anatomy, so you never know what's going to hurt. 

(in reply to DavanKael)
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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/10/2009 11:20:45 PM   
aravain


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Joined: 8/26/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

I would think that consulting with her back doctor regarding movements/positions/durations that are acceptable would be a good idea.  I think it would be ideal if you can be open with the doctor about your plans. 
Best wishes, 
Davan


quoted because it's the best advice you're ever going to get (I'm getting deja vu... have I said this about something DavanKael said before?)

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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/11/2009 2:47:05 AM   
Vendaval


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Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Ihmenjo,
 
 to the Forums and it is good to have someone asking the pertinent questions before rushing into action.
 
You have some sage advice here about consulting with her back doctor to which I will add learning the basics of back anatomy would be a very good idea.  You do not mention if the injuries are bone, disc, soft tissue, etc?


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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/11/2009 5:28:05 AM   
mistoferin


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Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I'd recommend books/videos by the Two Knotty Boys. There are even a few free instructional videos by them out on the web. They have many intricate designs that should satisfy your desire for complex artistic bondage and many that should cause no issues for people with back problems. Give them a look.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 3/11/2009 5:35:25 AM >

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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/11/2009 6:27:30 AM   
UndreamtHeaven


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Joined: 12/3/2007
Status: offline 		One last suggestion, if you are uncomfortable talking with your/her doctor. Find a mentor, some one who has  quite a bit of experiance and ask them to teach you. It was one of the best decisions I ever made and being completely open with my doctor. Before I try anything new on my boy I always prep by asking about the dangers. The real power in all of this comes from knowledge.

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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/11/2009 7:00:24 AM   
SavageFaerie


Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I have bondage issue, not realted to back problems althought I do have soft tissue damage to my shoulders and neck. Mine are more of a mental variety.

BlackPhx has been slowly conditioning me and one thing he does not matter the pattern oh how much he does it he uses slip knots so if there is a need to get me out fast it only take some pulls and Im out.

This is part of his conditioning me to bondage which he loves, and wanting to please him I would like to get over this. So far its been successful.

So you might try that, it might alter the look of the pattern somewhat but it would allow you to proceed knowing that if she starts hurting you can get the bindings off quick.

This could all you to find easier what if comfortable with her and doesnt put her spine in a position of flaring up and hurting to much and you can adjust from there.

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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/11/2009 5:52:07 PM   
DavanKael


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Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

I would think that consulting with her back doctor regarding movements/positions/durations that are acceptable would be a good idea.  I think it would be ideal if you can be open with the doctor about your plans. 
Best wishes, 
Davan


quoted because it's the best advice you're ever going to get (I'm getting deja vu... have I said this about something DavanKael said before?)



Thank you, aravain!  :>  Much appreciated. 
It's my opinion that most medical practitioners really are more pragmatic than folks give them credit for...and, the ones who aren't need to get 'broken in' so that they can most effectively treat clients without judgments and biases.  There really is no new thing under the sun. 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to aravain)
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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/12/2009 2:09:20 PM   
Ihmenjo


Posts: 12
Joined: 6/18/2007
Status: offline 		Well, I'm being very careful... she has a complication due to untreated scoliosis that affects her hips (note to self: bad assumptions do come to bite one in the ass).  She's confident that she will have to deal with lower back pain later in life.  As for myself, I'm not one to complicate things, so as I said, I'm limiting her to upper body restraint and such. 

I personally love the marks from rope, but I'm also making sure that she's restrained loosely enough to be comfortable but they are snug enough to not cause any real pain and such.

I will take the advice to play it by ear, listen to her and such.  We don't have an actual safe word, but if she ever tells me to stop in the middle of a session, I will for whatever reason she need me to cease what I'm doing.  Additionally, I'm always keeping a sharp knife handy to cut her out if I can't untie her in time.

She trusts me, which I'm very grateful for.  I don't think there is much more I can ask for from a submissive or even a girlfriend, period.

(in reply to DavanKael)
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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/12/2009 3:22:11 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		May I suggest medical shears rather than a sharp knife.  If she gets freaked out and wiggles around uncontrollably, you may slice her up with a knife as you're trying to cut her free where-as, medical shears won't do that and will slice through the rope with expedience. 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to Ihmenjo)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/12/2009 5:06:23 PM   
EclipseAbove


Posts: 220
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		All I can add to all that has been said is you might want to consider forms of bondage that don't involve contorting the body at all.  Mummification is a great eaxmple of very heavy bondage that only requires someone to be able to lie down, something that most people have little trouble with.

(in reply to DavanKael)
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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/13/2009 3:46:06 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		if there nerves are pinched /damaged ..there can be loss of sensation in lower limbs, so she may not be able to tell you if she having problems ..so you have to be extra aware and keep checking colour/ temperature  to ensure no circulation problems she may have learn't what is normal  numbness for her .. the problem with many bottoms is they do not want to stop a scene  if their is a problem for fear of being viewed as a failure and disappointment to a top. 

She needs to have drilled into her head the notion that  failure to stop a scene if she is experiencing problems such as abnormal (for her) numbness is bad  and stupid as it could result in more damage and that she is failing you if she does not speak up as soon as problems start...


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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/13/2009 4:00:58 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		All good advice here and may I add that some submissives become more or less non verbal during a scene.  You have to be watching for signs of distress and the more means of non verbal communication you remove, the more vigilent you have to be.  Also keep in mind the amount of weight that is being supported in various positions.  Just because the back is straight does not mean you are not putting a great deal of strain on joints and on her back in general.  The first thing that comes to mind is a legs up position.  That is a lot of weight on a weaken back.

lovingpet

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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/14/2009 8:55:18 AM   
Guilty1974


Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

May I suggest medical shears rather than a sharp knife.


Too much qulaity diffrence in shears to trust them imo. If you're uncomfortable with knifes, I'd suggest a benchmad rescue hook from the climbing/outdoor sports shop. They are meant to be used for cutting rope near the human body. It doesn't get safer than that.

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RE: A bondage "problem" - 3/20/2009 8:06:50 PM   
Ihmenjo


Posts: 12
Joined: 6/18/2007
Status: offline 		Actually, that sounds like a wonderful idea, so I'll have to look into that benchmad rescue hook.

Currently, I'm dealing with learning exactly how out of practice I am when it comes to bondage, so for now, it looks like my more advanced ideas will have to wait.  She's very willing to work with me and trusts me greatly, so I'm grateful for both.

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