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RE: My age does not define me. - 3/17/2009 5:05:37 PM

DomImus

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We're judged by age. It's often just a number but we are still judged by it. That's the way life is. You're a 22 year old woman and you are being judged as a 22 year old woman. Twenty five years from now you are going to be a 47 year old woman being judged as a 47 year old woman and you may wish at that time you were still a 22 year old woman being judged as a 22 year old woman. Enjoy your youth and quit sweating the small stuff.

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RE: My age does not define me. - 3/17/2009 6:22:11 PM

Vanityfull

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IMPO my age is a big defining thing about me, i am young now and dont have alot of generational millstones yet but when i am old and grey i am going to remember personal and world events that have happened in my life time. example jfk dying had no affect on me becuase i wasnt alive, i am told by alot of older people it was devasting, where 911 is gonna be more signifagent to me then say someone born 3/17/09. i have always been attracted to older people but my limit is around 7 or 8 years older, im humble enough to admit most 40 some yr olds know a shit load more of the world than me and the world experiance is too much a difference to have a balanced relationship. i am sure when i am 40 or so i will want someone who can remember and appreciate the same nostalgia as me.

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RE: My age does not define me. - 3/18/2009 5:39:27 AM

Lynnxz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirl85

I think I've decided that some people just didn't get around to growing up till their late thirties. No problem for them, but some people don't have time to screw around. ;)

At any rate, the ageist crowd is never going to change their viewpoint- it's a pointless argument that sucks everyone in occasionally.

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RE: My age does not define me. - 3/18/2009 6:04:46 AM

feydeplume

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Just a thought here, but age does define a person... to people that use age as an important screening factor. They use it on themselves (usually) as much as they do on others. Some people really DO care about AGE, not what you have done, where you have been, and if you have dealt with the baggage yet, but AGE itself.

SO OP age my not define you, to you, but it can and does define you, in a way, to some people.

My favorite new shopping buddy happens to be 13 and my regular lunch date buddy is 65+. Age is not a defining factor to me, unless i am interested in them in a sexual way. Then i just want to make sure they are legal. For friends, buddies, and all flavors of people i spend happy time with, age is generally not an issue, unless it is an issue to them.

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RE: My age does not define me. - 3/18/2009 7:02:38 AM

agirl

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It's not too difficult to appreciate people for whatever they have going for them, at ANY age.

I'm 51yrs old and my sprogs have areas of their lives where they are more *sorted* than I am.

Any wisdom, maturity, knowledge I have is related to me, my life and what I've done with it and not comparable to the sprogs lives.

I draw on them for the things they have a better grasp of, and they draw on me for the same reason.

I know what it's like to be a child, a teenager, a young adult, as MYSELF, not as them, but they don't yet know what it's like to be a wrinkly. I don't expect them to. I haven't lost a parent and my sprogs have. I really have no idea what it's has been like for them. They've known and felt things that I haven't. I deal with things with things differently to them because of my age etc..my way is sometimes more helpful and sometimes their's is.

It's perfectly possible to have your act together for where you are in your life at any given time.....I've had mine together once or twice intermingled with times when I haven't.

One thing I am certain of is .....that if someone wants to find something to bash you with at any age, they'll do so.

agirl

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RE: My age does not define me. - 3/18/2009 7:25:06 AM

hardbodysub

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LadyDread, I'm with you all the way on this. Once you've reached adulthood, age does not determine mental and emotional maturity. In regard to finding a play partner, dating partner, LTR mate, whatever, age matters very little to me. Mutual attraction and compatibility of interests and temperament are what count. I'd be thrilled to find a dominant woman your age who was interested in a sub my age.

There is a lower limit for virtually everyone, an age below which it is virtually impossible to really be mentally and emotionally mature, largely because the development and maturation of the prefrontal cortex isn't usually complete until early adulthood. Obviously, there's an experience factor as well, but the biological fact of brain development is one that you can't get around. As determined by both anatomical and behavioral observations, the PFC is fully developed by age 22-25. After that, age per se doesn't make much difference in mental and emotional maturity; differences are from experience and individual variations.

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RE: My age does not define me. - 3/18/2009 7:47:55 AM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirl85

And another note, Maturity is not knowledge. Knowledge is not maturity. A 13 year old girl who has been abused, has WATCHED as a family member takes their last breath, has been held to impossible standards by parents, has been more of a parent to her brother than his own father.... that little girl is going to be a hell of a lot more mature than a 25 year old who was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and has had everything handed to them in life.

Actually...she may not be. How about the 25 yr old born into the type of wealth you describe and used as a substitute when mommy is sick and the mistress is on her period? How about the 20 year old man who has spent the last 7 years trying to control his parents drinking and fighting while still trying to get through school with grades that help to ensure him entry into college along with the G.I. Bill he'll achieve from 4 yrs of service to Uncle Sam? The first example I gave you is of a former Ms. Colorado, the second example is me. My experience didn't make me any more mature nor did Ms. Colorado's...what it did was expose me to more adult things than I should have been exposed to at my age. My decisions, good as they sometimes were, were still tempered by my age, by what I'd learned from sources outside the home, and by the growth and function level of my cognitive center. Like it or not, the ability to make fully cognitive decisions, to fully process what is happening to us and what is likely to happen when we follow a chosen course, does not occur until somewhere between the ages of 24 and 26. That's not to say that a decision made at 18 will not be better than a decision made at 15 or...to go along the age vein stated here...that a decision at 18 might be as good as a decision at 23 but when you reach the age of 23, your brain will be able to process things better than the brain of a 13 yr old. Sadly, though the 13 yr old of your example has been through some adult experiences, the fact that her brain is not fully functional yet is likely going to make those experiences...in some ways...much more difficult to deal with and not only on a mental level. The relative immaturity of her emotional and physiological processes is going to have an effect also.

I've met a great many mature 21-22-23 yr olds. Many of them were making good decisions. But to say that their decisions were backed up by years of experience of dealing with life and ALL it has to offer would be an outright lie.

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RE: My age does not define me. - 3/18/2009 7:51:00 AM

ShaktiSama

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We've already had one serious blood-and-guts furball in the Mistress forum this month over ageism, so I'm not going to respond to anyone but the OP:

Your age does define you, unfortunately, in many parts of our society. Your car insurance rate will be set by your age, your ability to define yourself as "emancipated" if you chose to go to university will be set by your age, the responses of potential employers (positive and negative) will be determined at least in part by your age, etc.. And you will face prejudices all your life that are based on the age you happen to be at that moment--regardless of what the age is at the time.

This being said, ALL human beings are subject to limiting stereotypes and social expectations which are laid on us: we all belong to one "race" or another, we are defined by gender, class, occupation, nationality, etc.. If you find these social boundaries confining or uncomfortable, there is always a way to get around them in your own personal life.

Just...break the rules. Be the truth that makes a lie of the stereotype. People who attack you with their bigotry are not making a relevant statement about your maturity--they are proving their own immaturity. There is nothing more childish than prejudice.

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RE: My age does not define me. - 3/18/2009 9:27:17 AM

feydeplume

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The prefrontal cortex is "This brain region has been implicated in planning complex cognitive behaviors, personality expression, decision making and moderating correct social behavior." (Wiki)

Using the PFC as a determining factor of emotional and mental maturity is a bit odd really, since, by the time it is 'done', that means that it has stopped growing and is more likely to use habit rather than situation to dictate behavior. It is a totally valid way to measure maturity IF we assume that developing a habitual response or set of social behaviors equals a baseline of maturity and that habitual response is somehow 'better' than situational response.

Here is where the conversation veers into the moral/ethical growth of person and the mere physical growth of a person and that darned scale of morality...There are 7 (?) steps on the scale... *bangs head into wall*. AH! Kohlberg's stages of moral development and Carol Gilligan's Stages of Moral Development.

My rather rambling point is that yes, there is a lower limit for physical maturity of the brain, although the body continues to grow and chance (and there is new evidence that the brain continues to change as well), but that physical maturity is not always the best or even an accurate way to judge 'maturity' as a function of compatibility or value.

As i said, people use all sorts of criteria, based on internal and external data, to define all sorts of things about themselves and other people. Vague enough for ya? Geeze I think I need more coffee.... with that shopping buddy who has a new crush and just heard about a great new thrift shop.

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RE: My age does not define me. - 3/18/2009 9:54:45 AM

rulemylife

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirl85

Did you know the penis extends 4 to 5 inches into the body?

So THAT'S where the rest of mine has been hiding!

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RE: My age does not define me. - 3/19/2009 9:07:10 AM

goodgirl85

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Joined: 4/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirl85

Did you know the penis extends 4 to 5 inches into the body?

So THAT'S where the rest of mine has been hiding!