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lovingpet -> RE: advice please (3/14/2009 5:51:57 AM)
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It is fine that he wants you to participate in such an act, but it is his responsibility to make sure that you are not put at risk in the process. This has been discussed in my relationships and I made it clear my partner would garner and show me all the clean test results of everyone who would be participating. If he was not willing to do this, I bluntly said I would not participate. You need to have a very serious talk with him. As always, communication would solve quite a bit of this.
Further, let's just call a spade a spade. This is not a NEED for your Daddy. It may be high on his wants list, but that is not the same thing. As a general rule of thumb (not for everyone, I know), I tend to go by a pecking order of things:
1. Subbie's needs: After all, if they are not met by the dominant, the submissive is at risk of not having these vital things. These are things like food, shelter, health, and emotional/psychological needs. I am sure this list could be expanded somewhat. They are things that may determine whether or not a submissive lives or dies.
2. Dominant needs: Why secondary? This is only because, the dominant is not at the mercy of someone else for these things. I put the needs of those under my care first in a family circumstance, and this is similar, in my view.
3. Dominant wants: This is kind of the point of the dynamic. It is not about abandoning all common sense and putting both wants and needs aside just to please. Certainly these wants can wait, but they will need to be tended to at some point. They are met in a way that both have their basic needs recognized.
4. Submissive wants: See the above.
Like I said, this is merely a guideline and an idea I have gleaned off these boards from others. It is also makes sense to me logically. Your health is not really up for his disposal if he values his property. Your job is to figure out a way together to meet his want and insuring the protection of your very real needs.
lovingpet
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