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3 bulls. - 3/19/2009 7:58:23 PM

YourhandMyAss

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Three bulls heard; that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and thus a discussion began.

First Bull: "Boys, I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we all agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know where this new bull is going to get HIS cows, but I not giving him any of mine."

Second Bull: "That says it for me, too. I've been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we've agreed are mine. I'll fight 'im till I run him off or kill 'im, but I'M KEEPING MY COWS."

Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and you guys have only let me have 10 cows to "take care of". I may not be as big as you fellows (yet) but I am young and virile, so I'm going to keep all MY cows."

They no sooner finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the biggest Son-of-Bitchin-Bull these guys had ever seen! At 4700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point.

First Bull: "You know, it's actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our new friend."

Second Bull: "I'll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I'm certainly not looking for argument."

They look over at their young friend, the 3rd bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting.

First Bull: "Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."

Third Bull: "Hell, he can have ALL MY COWS. I'm just trying to make sure he knows I'm a bull!"

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RE: 3 bulls. - 3/19/2009 8:24:29 PM

Arpig

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RE: 3 bulls. - 3/19/2009 9:33:31 PM

SteelofUtah

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I LOVE this joke and tell it offten.

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RE: 3 bulls. - 3/19/2009 11:24:52 PM

SurrenderForMe

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LOL

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RE: 3 bulls. - 3/20/2009 12:48:13 PM

YourhandMyAss

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The picture and the caption was kinda funnier:)

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RE: 3 bulls. - 3/20/2009 1:57:07 PM

hlen5

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In another pasture.....

A young bull and an older bull were grazing at the top of the hill. The younger bull looks down into the meadow and sees the herd of female cows and their calves feeding and walking around.

Jr. turns to the Sr. bull and says "Man, look at all those hawt cows down there! Let's run down there and each have our way with one of those cows!! "Sr. looks at Jr. and says, "No son, let's walk down there and fuck them all."

Edited for typos.

< Message edited by hlen5 -- 3/20/2009 2:02:51 PM >

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RE: 3 bulls. - 3/20/2009 5:48:10 PM

vincent63

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this isnt a joke,actually its a true story,,,as some of you might have read im originally from jersey, then moved to texas going on 9 yrs ago, now im living in florida,,well, dove hunting is a big thing in texas, and it was my first dove season..my boss called me one saturday afternoon and asked me if i wanted to go, i said sure, so he gives me directions where to meet him...first off, he has his springer spaniel with him to flush the doves from cover, only problem is, she has allergies to grass and hay and can't smell a single thing in this field so she stays by his side the whole time, so much for a flushing dog,,,second, we've been hunting for about 2 hours, gotten a couple doves, and he tells me to go on the other side of this fence and he'll flush towards me, well, i look at this fence and there's about 200 head of cattle with the biggest horns ive ever seen,,,i tell him he's nuts, he's gonna get me killed, no way am i going inside a fenced pasture with that many bulls in it,,well, he drops his shotgun and starts roaring with laughter,,im staring at him like he's an idiot until he calms a bit and can actually draw enough breath to talk,,he tells me hey yankee, those aren't bulls, those are cows,,i tell him no way, cows don't have horns,we've got cows in jersey,ive seen them. even worked up close with them, and cows don'thave horns, bulls do,he then looks me dead in the eye and says man, them are longhorns, welcome to texas

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RE: 3 bulls. - 3/22/2009 11:44:35 AM

Andalusite

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Big cattle breeding operations which focus on AI usually use other bulls as the teaser/mount animal instead of cows, because bulls can support more weight, and because some of them don't even keep cows on the premises.

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RE: 3 bulls. - 3/22/2009 11:52:51 AM

YoursMistress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

Big cattle breeding operations which focus on AI usually use other bulls as the teaser/mount animal instead of cows, because bulls can support more weight, and because some of them don't even keep cows on the premises.

artificial intelligence? are they running simulations, not simulations? lol

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RE: 3 bulls. - 3/22/2009 12:13:35 PM

Andalusite

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AI as in artificial insemination, not cyborg cows.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 3/22/2009 12:14:01 PM >

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RE: 3 bulls. - 3/22/2009 8:18:33 PM

hlen5

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How depressing would that be to be the fluff BULL???

< Message edited by hlen5 -- 3/22/2009 8:34:35 PM >

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RE: 3 bulls. - 3/25/2009 7:54:31 PM

NightTigress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

Big cattle breeding operations which focus on AI usually use other bulls as the teaser/mount animal instead of cows, because bulls can support more weight, and because some of them don't even keep cows on the premises.

learn something new every day, thanks for that

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