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RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 1:00:50 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangedesire
nor am I dominatrix-pretty. 

Don't fucking do that to yourself.  Please.  I attended a fetish party in Houston a year ago.  While there, I met a prodomme in her forties.  At one point in the party, the topic of corsets came up, and she laughed and said, "I gave up corsets 60 pounds ago."  She had regular clients, and charged for her services.

Skill, confidence and compassion for what the other person wants are a lot more important than a hot bod... even for horny men.



Truer words never spoken.  Blessed be.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 1:23:56 PM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

IndigoMystry wrote:
... the wider majority of alleged "male subs" are, as Lockit says, wankers, posers, fakes.

Excuse me but Lockit said no such thing.  She merely said that the majority of men who E-mail her out of the blue are wankers, posers and fakes.  That's not remotely the same thing.

Almost all the mail I receve here that isn't from friends is from women calling themselves "Dommes" who want to scam me.  Would you like to think about how hard you'd be on my case if I declared that all the women on this site are just scammers?

The point is that only the wankers and the scammers send these types of mail.  A wanker is very likely to send you mail; other users much less so.  Receiving mail from wankers tells you nothing about how non-wankers behave and tells you nothing about what proportion of users here are wankers.  Making such conclusions is known as "selection bias" by statisticians.

beeble.


_____________________________

Kita's owned slutpet.

(in reply to IndigoMystry)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 1:33:39 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
LOL... okay... I said wankers... and most the email that comes that isn't friends... is from wankers.  I never met a fake wanker or poser wanker.  At least not to my knowledge.  I have however gotten mail from those I considered wankers who may have been confused about the relation between submission and wanking.  If that makes them a fake or poser or anything else.. I don't know.. but they are wankers or trolls to me.  And they are all too real to be fake! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to beeble)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 1:54:52 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
Strangedesire,

Upon reading your OP, it behooved me to read your profile before replying.  Why is it submissive men write to you asking for professional sessions?  There are probably a myriad reasons.

Some submissives don't read profiles and send introductions to *any* dominant they find.  A sub-category are submissive types who read and understand a profile, but ignore it anyway.  They see something in a profile that catches their attention (pictures, the personality, a specific fetish or fetishes, etc.) and even though a caveat excludes them from replying, they reply anyway.  Both of these groups use the "conquer by saturation" approach - the ideology being that if one throws out enough hooks, eventually someone will bite.  Sometimes a profile is too good not to reply to, even when, as the reader, you don't quite fit what the author is looking for.  So people reply in the hope that perhaps they might be the one exception or that the author will be more flexible than they've stated.

I'm guessing at least a portion of these demographics fit your questions and analysis.  (i.e. envisioning CM as a menu of potential dominatrices, many women doing BDSM for money and this slanting reader's viewpoints, and the presumption that perhaps every woman involved in BDSM, if given the chance, will take money in exchange for services.)

My supposition may be entirely incorrect though.  What I can almost guarantee you is this:  the quality of your profile and how you present yourself attracts people.  Shakti summarized my thoughts very nicely when she wrote:  "As for what submissive/masochistic men find appealing about your profile; I would hazard a guess that they are attracted by the unmistakable stamp of intelligence, the clearly articulated desires and expectations, and the absolutely unambivalent and unapologetic sadism that you profess".  I'll expand this by adding, if you'll pardon the phrase, you seem to be a complete, intelligent, communicative, physically and emotionally attractive, sexy, and extremely well balanced package.  And, you write very well, further upping your sexiness factor considerably.  You'd be equally endearing to invite for tea, to the theater, to a debate, out on a walk, or to a bondage/pain session.

By the way, I loved your profile.  It's brilliant in so many ways, not the least of which is you've communicated what you're looking for without coming across as overly self-focused and domineering.  There's a big difference between domineering, and dominance and sadism.  The prior isn't remotely attractive.  The later, when combined with the right degree of humanity and seemingly innocent "hurting men turns me on; I like to hit men; I like the noises that they make, the whimpers and sobs and gasps", is sexy as hell.  You're this later case this is why submissive boys are knocking on your door, even those that don't fit your criteria.

I feel compelled to quote your second last paragraph because it's so clear, simple, and well stated.  You say a great deal about yourself by what you say and, as importantly, by how you choose to say it, as follows:

"My ideal submissive man is emotionally strong, intelligent, and unafraid of his own desires.  Physical beauty is less important to me than mental integrity, although I'm unlikely to form bonds well with someone a great deal older than me.  Basically, I want a good friend whose submission compliments my dominance and who can enjoy my sadistic side."

I dare say it'd be almost impossible for any submissive (male or female) not to be intrigued.

Elan.

< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 3/22/2009 2:00:33 PM >

(in reply to strangedesire)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 1:55:30 PM   
IndigoMystry


Posts: 34
Joined: 3/20/2009
Status: offline
Understood..and I did not infer that ALL the male-subs here are wankers or fakes.  I said the "majority", i.e. highest percentage in relation to the emails I receive/d.  What I mean by a "fake or poser" wanker is that they aren't necessarily into the lifestyle nor interested in a genuine relationship with a Domme.  They just want some cybering, etc. or "cyber/email attention" paid to them.  To me that's, yes, I admit it, fake and pose-y because there's no depth to what they're seeking.  And, as I have been told, I realize the "wankees" will probably disperse some once I'm off the "fresh meat" list LOL.  To those who are sincere in their choices and desires, committed to establishing a relationship beyond first-night stands (except for play dates LOL) -- I salute, respect, and metaphorically embrace you.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 2:28:43 PM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

IndigoMystry wrote:
Understood..and I did not infer that ALL the male-subs here are wankers or fakes.  I said the "majority", i.e. highest percentage in relation to the emails I receive/d.

Sure but my point is that receiving E-mails from wankers tells you nothing about the genuine subs.  This is precisely because a wanker is much more likely to E-mail you than a genuine sub.  The wanker sends mails to every Domme he sees (especially if she's new and her profile pic shows her wearing rubber and hot boots); the genuine sub only sends mails to Dommes he think might make a good match.  The majority of your mail is from wankers because wankers send an awful lot of mail.

The mistake you're making is to assume that an individual wanker is as likely to send you mail as a genuine sub.  If that were the case, 99% of your mail being from wankers would mean that 99% of guys on the site were wankers.  However, wankers are much more likely to send you mail so proportion of mail you get from wankers is much higher than the proportion of wankers on the site.

quote:

To those who are sincere in their choices and desires, committed to establishing a relationship beyond first-night stands (except for play dates LOL) -- I salute, respect, and metaphorically embrace you.

Yay! for metaphorical hugs!

beeble.


_____________________________

Kita's owned slutpet.

(in reply to IndigoMystry)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 3:21:40 PM   
scbndgsub


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
I think a lot of men offer to pay so that they do not really have to submit. The attitude people take is that if they pay for something they should get exactly what they want without having to be a true submissive.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 4:03:14 PM   
strangedesire


Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

I've experienced the vanilla equivalent on a couple of occasions.  It wasn't particularly that I was dressed as a prostitute or carrying myself like one.  But I was an attractive woman standing or walking alone on Davie Street on a Friday or Saturday night--and hope springs eternal, darlin'.  Sometimes when a man is in the market for an item and he sees the one he wants, he makes an offer--whether there is a "for sale" sign up or not.



I stand corrected.  I know that the presumption that women can be bought isn't specific to the BDSM subculture, but I suppose that it's easy to forget how common the perception of availability is in our culture in general.  I am rarely in areas where men go to buy sex, and I don't think that any of my male friends would find the idea especially appealing. 

Thank you, as well, for your kind words on my picture and my profile. 


_____________________________

On that other site as Exegesis.

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: "All women are pros" - 3/23/2009 4:29:01 PM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline
(fast reply)

Greetings,

So, ... the joke (and an off colour one at that) goes ...

Would you have sex with me for a million dollars?
Yes.
Well, now that we've established WHAT you are, lets negotiate the price.

Most men, vanilla or otherwise, believe that all women have their price. The fact that you are on a site that they associate with sex simply means that you have agreed to this presumption - well, in their minds at least - and now all that is left is the negotiation of price.

If you add to that the OP's assertion that she is new and her skill set is not fully evolved ... well, then it means a discount, right??

Men who make these kinds of requests are not worth the time or money it takes to write a response. The good thing is that for every moron out there, there is also a wonderful, submissive man who 'gets it'. Unfortunately they all live in a different part of the world - lol.

Good luck to the OP in her search.

Wickad

(in reply to strangedesire)
Profile   Post #: 29
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