Those journals..... (Full Version)

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infyniti -> Those journals..... (8/16/2004 5:46:24 AM)

Time and time again, I see a "requirement" of a relationship that the sub/slave keep a journal. Many, too many, times these journals must be posted on line for anyone to see. All rules of the Dom. I am missing the purpose actually.
Does this make the Dom feel better? I mean to share with his other friends, kinda like boasting about how wonderful he is in his own right? "Lookie what I can make her do?" Sorta thing?
I completely understand if a person wants to keep a journal. I have done so myself in the past. I even had a journal on live journal but it was something for me. Not a request of my Dom.
IMO.... many times these journals are openly posted because the Dom needs a serious ego boost. This sort of scares me as I really don't want someone using a single tail who has a large self esteem problem. Just doesn't sound healty to me.
If not for the ego stroking, then what is the reason? Humilliation? I don't buy it.
I feel private journals are an entirely different matter. They are between the sub and her Dom. The word here is " private".
I have to admit that on more than one occasion I have found myself reading the journal of a person that I don't even know out of curiousity, yet at times I feel that if I continue reading, I am somehow invading their personal space. Almost like going somewhere and seeing or hearing more than one really wants to.
For the record.... I don't keep a journal. I am in a collared RT 24/7 relationship. The Bruce asked me to remove my livejournal ( though it was very vanilla) as he didn't want the world learning our personal lives. We are very OUT in the community and locally about our lifestyle but he doesn't feel a need to state each detail of what happened in our days. This works for both of us :-)
Feedback?

peace
infyniti



afmvdp -> RE: Those journals..... (8/16/2004 8:48:09 AM)

I would imagine most those required to post online journals are in a form of online relationship, not in a hands on, real life relationship thus it is the only way for said "dom" to know what the sub is doing.



perverseangelic -> RE: Those journals..... (8/16/2004 10:00:00 AM)

I have a friend whose (realtime) dominant likes him to keep a journal, simply because it gives the submissive person a chance to try to focus his thoughts as they relate to the relationship. It was the friends choice to put the journal online, as he liked the idea of others (he approved) being able to watch his progression and possibly offer advice. To this end, he created a friends-only livejournal.

I know other realtime dominants who want their partners to have online journals for similar reasons. Paper journals are only visible to the people who can phsycially get the journal. Online journals can be widely available, but also (mostly) locked against total strangers.

So I don't personally see it as an ego booster for the dominant partner as much as it is for the submissive partner. I keep an infrequently updated livejournal that relates to my relationship, simply because I like to get feedback on "realizations" I've had.

I think some people are naturally more public than others, and like the feeling that others are reading about their life etc.



MrThorns -> RE: Those journals..... (8/16/2004 10:04:09 AM)

infyniti,

I have my slaves keep a journal, but I sure as hell wouldn't have them share it online. The reason they keep a journal is to simply be able to track their progress as a slave in service to me. They are aware that I may inspect their journal at any time...however...in 4 years, I have yet to do so. I keep a journal for myself as well. I think its very interesting to look back at the man I was...and to see the man that I am now.

A journal may also give a slave an outlet to resolve some problems. If she is angry, upset, etc...it's a much safer outlet to vent into a journal than to have a blow up on ones Owner.

~Thorns



ScorpioMaster -> RE: Those journals..... (8/16/2004 10:11:03 AM)

I am not really sure the reason for having the subs/slave posts her journals on line since I do not have the girls I am with to do so. I do require for them to do a journal for I find it easier for them to sort out their emotional and what they are going through. I will read every journal the send me but to require them to openly post on line it not my thing.



LadyBeckett -> RE: Those journals..... (8/16/2004 1:49:53 PM)

Those who serve me are required to maintain a journal online at http://www.livejournal.com. Their journals are not visible to the general public. Even as a free user, one can set up filters, and/or will have the option of public/friends only/private entries.



LadyShoshin -> RE: Those journals..... (8/16/2004 6:58:42 PM)

On LJ only the people on my friends list can read my journal. When it is something just for me, I click the private option, then only I can see it. I removed my last partner, his brother and his brother's girlfriend from my friends list just because I didn't want him knowing what is going on in my life and I don't want to know about his. It is up to you who sees or doesn't see your LJ.



LadyBeckett -> RE: Those journals..... (8/16/2004 7:26:17 PM)

I've been with LJ since 2001, and I love it there. Just recently I created a BDSM community journal Silk Intention. Which is Friends Only. There, as here, iwill keeps things interesting! [;)]



NightDaughter -> RE: Those journals..... (8/17/2004 8:14:23 PM)

My Master does not require that I keep a journal, I keep an online journal because I like shaing with people things that happen, or whats going on in my life but to also let them know any updates that I have made to my site or the like, since they might be interested in it.

Yes there is a journal that I am required to post to but that is mostly for people who wish to know when updates to Master's and my site has been made, and some other things that we both wish to make public. We both post to this journal, and we tell things like we see it. We both know that it reflects on us both, thus our journal is prity much business with some personal stuff as well.

I can say that a journal can be help when a relationship is new and starting out as it allows both to communicate where there might be problems etc, but I do not think that a journal is necessary for a relationship to work or continue, but open communication is totally necessary.

Personaly keeping a journal for your own thoughts and ideas is a good idea, if you choose to post it to the net that is your choice, if your dominant doesn't like it well that is between the two of you.



ADayintheLife197 -> RE: Those journals..... (8/18/2004 10:24:58 PM)

I agree that there are a lot of Doms out there who utilize a sub's journals as a source of personal pride or to gain, in his mind, some measure of respectability within the community. Obviously, this method often backfires; most of recongize this method as self-serving.

However, along with the additional ideas mentioned, there is another reason a Dom may have a sub keep an online journal:

If the sub were a novice, the Dom may be interested in having her share her experiences so that other Doms and subs can watch the evolution of a relationship...in other words, provide a teaching tool illustrating a method of training that others could follow. There may be ideas that Doms can use to approach his/her novice subs; there may be subs who may discover aspects of beginning training that they have not experienced. Personally, however, if I were to have sub keep a journal for this purpose, I would keep a journal as well, to provide depth and illustrate evolution on both levels.

However, this method still is quite subjective: how does one know if the sub and Dom are posting his/her thoughts without arbitration from the other party? How does one know if the experiences are accurate?

The preferable approach to providing a learning experience: keep the journal private. Then, post articles about the development of a Dom/sub relationship using the journals to provide anecdotes to back up any conclusions or discoveries.

Erik



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