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RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 6/30/2009 10:12:27 PM

GreedyTop

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*hugs*

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Post #: 41

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 7/1/2009 2:29:53 AM

allthatjaz

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Sends a big hug too.
You gave him the benefit of the doubt for a while but you were right to eventually follow up your suspicions.

I hope you can move on to find an honest man and happiness because thats the least you deserve.

Maria

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Post #: 42

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 7/1/2009 4:22:13 AM

agirl

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Your weekly play dates are for a distraction and because you still love him?

agirl

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Post #: 43

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 7/1/2009 4:36:20 AM

CatdeMedici

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Your weekly play dates are for a distraction and because you still love him?

agirl

No, I got the impression that "He" was over and this was with others in the community ?

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Post #: 44

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 7/1/2009 5:08:15 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Your weekly play dates are for a distraction and because you still love him?

agirl

No, I got the impression that "He" was over and this was with others in the community ?

The impression I got from this comment.....

"My heart is still reeling. But 4 weeks on, I am continuing to submit. I am not proud."

...was that she's continuing with HIM...No mention was ever made about *others* at all, nor that she had dispensed with him.

But you never know....lol

agirl

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Post #: 45

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 7/1/2009 5:15:51 AM

sublimehonesty

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I've closed my Kitty account, and set up a new account...hence the different log in name.

No, no others...still him...I can't disconnect that quickly. I'm trying to disentangle myself. I have never been a "casual player" it's not an option for me.

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Post #: 46

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 7/1/2009 5:26:19 AM

agirl

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I understand *disentangling*.

With regards, agirl

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Post #: 47

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 7/2/2009 2:37:21 AM

SirLexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitty4Maitre

If he is married, he has lied. A big fat hairy lie too. Instant deal breaker. I could not, would not ever be the other woman

Listen to your own gut reaction to the prospect of the scenario that eventuated my dear. By continuing to play you validate the illusion the he so cruelly perpetrated upon you. If he had any scruples whatsoever, and it seems as though he doesn't, he would have set you free because a Dominant has that kind of responsibility thrust upon them every once in a while: to wit to end a D/s relationship where it would be more detrimental to the sub if it were to continue. It is not as though he has stopped playing with you and offered to support you through your health issues as a friend. By continuing to play with him I believe you are playing with fire.

Lexx. xoxoxox

Only three things matter in D/s. Absolute trust, pure trust and ultimate trust.

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Post #: 48

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 7/2/2009 3:19:52 AM

Goddess2002

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I'm so sorry...what a crummy thing to find out. I know the feeling about having difficulty disentangling fromsomeone you have feelings for...a lot of times we do this because we're still mourning our hopes of what we thought we had or our dream of what we wanted, rather than the person himself. To me the whole crux of D/s is trust...he's not a Dominant, just a jerk who hid behind the label to get what he wants.

At this point ask yourself why you are allowing him to continue to have a hold over you.

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Post #: 49

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 7/2/2009 5:53:14 AM

angelikaJ

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I too understand the difficulty of disentangling from him.
However, I think you will find a clearer path to happiness if you can stop seeing him.

Is it going to hurt?
Of course.

But you are killing off a part of your soul everytime you see him.

You deserve much better than to victimize yourself that way.

(((hugs)))

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Post #: 50

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 8/23/2009 4:44:30 PM

Demanding1

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Hello sublimehonesty,

I am amazed that I'm actually posting a reply on this thread. I usually just read them and go on to the next. I have read this entire thread from beginning to end and have found myself going through stages in thought and reaction. Initially I was saying to myself "give the guy the benefit of the doubts and go with the flow"; then when the discovery was made I said "hang the guy upside down and castrate him"; but what has prompted me to write a reply is your desire to continue to see him on a weekly basis because "you cannot disengage yourself". Dear, you should ask yourself what it is you are afraid of. The guy has proven himself a liar, fraud, and a fake in many ways. You also stated that you cannot be the other woman however it seems that you are very willing to be so at least once per week. Do yourself a favor - take your head outta your duffel bag and start thinking about what you really need and desire! Break it off with him completely and leaving you no way to come running back to him when you are feeling lonely. If you don't you are setting yourself up for a world of more hurt in the future. I apologize from the bluntness of my speech but it is my thoughts and feelings. Good luck

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Post #: 51

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 8/23/2009 6:49:02 PM

krikket

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Just because a man is dominant, calls himself master, does not give him the automatic right to be secretive and sneaky! Period.

Holey moley..well said. i just may needlepoint this on a pillow and put it in a place of prominence in my home..lol. (i especially liked the Period.)

krikket

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Post #: 52

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 8/23/2009 8:44:15 PM

dreamerdreaming

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I refer you to my original post (page two of this thread) back in March. There's a lot of extrapolation in it- but with the given information, it was my best guess at the time. I stand by it.

Kudos to you for the update, and for sticking around here, and for your honesty. I wish I had been wrong, that this guy was married. But c'mon- you're a smart girl. You knew. Its just hard to face. Be strong, and move on. You did say right in the beginning that being married was a deal- breaker. Leave it.

This man used you. Would have been fine if you had been properly informed, so that you could make a willing decision to engage with him on those terms. Now you're informed. So now, you are making an informed decision, every time you continue to see him. You are not being true to yourself, according to the standards you said you had in the beginning. That's gotta feel almost as crummy as his original deception, to you. But that's a crummy feeling you're giving yourself. Stop it.

Leave it. You'll feel better! Get angry with him! He deceived you! Don't accept the crumbs from his table.

You're better than that! You deserve soooo much MORE than he can give you!

Where's your self-respect?

Summon whatever dignity, and whatever strength you have, to end this. This man is taking advantage of you, and you're letting him. If low self-esteem is the cause of you're acting this way, then you need to take action to pump it up. For yourself and your children, take some positive action ASAP. I recommend seeing a social worker or some kind of counselor, or getting some group therapy. Don't wait. Do it now.

I am so sorry this turned out badly for you! I hope I haven't been too harsh. I am here to help. I think you are a good, and strong person. Decent, and worthwhile. Worthy of an outstanding dom. Take some time alone with yourself, and spend some time with your kids... Enjoy being single for a while. When you're truly happy single, that's when the right dom for you will present.

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Post #: 53

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 8/5/2015 8:27:38 PM

loyallymarried

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Hello - a post post script! I made it. I am the original poster and have been absent for many years. But I'm married now to a wonderful, dignified, intelligent man. He is my soul-mate and yes it is corny! I met him not long after I ended it once and for call with the loser from this thread all those years ago.

He is also my dominant and I his submissive. Dreams do come true

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Post #: 54

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 8/6/2015 5:53:19 PM

DesFIP

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Congratulations. It's always wonderful to hear about a happy ending.

And welcome back.

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RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 11/27/2015 4:50:02 PM

mistressgenesis

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Figure out what you want from him.

Is it reciprocated love? I doubt this will happen.

Is it honesty? You already know he is lying. You can either ignore it, or confront him.

Whether he has a wife or is single, you are his secret playtime. I doubt that will change.

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Post #: 56

RE: A fresh pair of eyes... - 11/27/2015 4:51:18 PM

mistressgenesis

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I don't know why this didn't show in the feed until after I posted, but congratulations!!!