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JRiddle -> RE: Self Bondage. (3/30/2009 2:06:19 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: marsman
I believe that one of the reasons that you "came up empty" in your search is because most responsible dominants will not recommend self-bondage to the general public.
Thank you for sharing. It makes good sense that any "Dominant" would not recommend self-bondage. If everyone did self-bondage, the dominants would not have anyone to bind. Jay Wiseman definitely points out that highly restrictive bondage and improper supervision is the biggest killer of bondage enthusiasts. However, blanket statements such as "no-self-bondage" are inaccurate.
Bondage varies in intensity and degree of helplessness. As one moves away from silk scarves with bow-ties to handcuffs, rope, or leather, the time required to release the bonds increases. Greater movement restrictions impair the ability of the wearer to remove the restraints. These factors pose the same risk during self-bondage as they do during play with a partner. The difference between self-bondage and properly supervised bondage is the risk mitigation. Gags require very close monitoring by a responsible party. The bound and gagged individual has the same risk of death when unmonitored regardless of how they became bound. If the gag was applied by someone else, the law has someone to blame in case of death.
Bondage always includes some risk. The level of acceptable risk is not universal. Why people do self-bondage varies. Jay WIseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook (copyright 2000, Greenery Press) says "As one bondage expert I interviewed for this book mentioned ' Men tend to tie themselves up because they do not have a partner, while women tend to tie themselves up because they do not trust their partner.'" Recently, through the local BDSM community, I have met several women willing to tie me up. Unfortunately, I still lack the trust required to allow them to bind me to the degree necessary to satisfy my bondage needs. Previously, I did not have a partner willing to restrain me. The need to be tied overrides the risk of playing alone for me. I anticipate that I will almost completely stop doing self-bondage when I attain a trustworthy play partner.
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