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RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 5:23:51 PM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
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Aynne,
i have no idea what You are referring to... Nor do i really want to. What i do know is my friend Bear is no longer here and that makes my heart very sad.
Very sad indeed,
Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 81

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 5:25:45 PM

purepleasure

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Sometimes feelings get hurt, and everyone reacts in the way they are most comfortable with, with their own emotions. I have no business in telling anyone else how they should feel or react to a particular post. If my feelings happen to get hurt, it's up to me to deal with it.

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 82

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 5:27:09 PM

purepleasure

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

AND I still miss Bear. Which is for me to deal with. That is all.

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to purepleasure)

Post #: 83

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 5:33:03 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Aynne,

I appreciate the spirit of your post. However, I am here because I miss my dear friend, Bear. He is the one I care about... his feelings, his emotions, and his great big heart.

I count myself as one of the lucky ones who still talks to him daily via other means, including the phone. The details of all the rest are not for this or any other public board, in my opinion. This is about loving a friend with your whole heart, as I do my buddy, Bear.

Respectfully,
Red/DRH

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 84

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 5:38:00 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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Best wishes and warm thoughts for Bear! :>
Davan

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May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

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-Me

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(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 85

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 5:43:35 PM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
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Thanks for getting it Red. I dont think Kali understood what I meant, and that is ok, pure too. I like both people involved, and I was not there, and I am not publicly taking any sides and I am sure that Bear loves and appreciates this thread. All I meant I guess is that why can't it just stay positive to missing Bear without hurting the other person, especially for those of you that don't since they are a member of this community here too, that is really all I meant. I would never ever tell anyone who to miss and who to make a tribute thread too. I guess I have been the vicitm of what I percieved to be ganged up on and it hurt. A lot. I just dont like to see that, that 's all. Maybe it just beings back memories, who knows. I like the spirit of missing your wonderful friend, but not everyone knows the backstory, well even those of us that have been told it, because really unless you were there, how could you? I certainly don't claim to at all. I just hate when people get there feelings so hurt they need to leave, Bear included. Same thing happended with Potty a while ago. It just stinks. I think we are all a great group of people and all I really meant was love Bear and miss him and all that, but I bet it can be done without hurting others. I don't know, I'm emotional tonight, forgive me if I offended anyone, I really didn't mean to. You are all wonderful people.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 86

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 5:44:56 PM

MoGa

Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/25/2008
From: Hellizona!
Status: offline

quote:

It really is a shame when some people can wreck it for others.

I have to reply to this..

You know I think the world of everyone on here..but I have to say that no one can wreck anything or make anyone do anything that they do not want wrecked or that they do not want done.

I could have easily left the forums after my "calling out" was done..but I chose NOT to..because I was not going to allow one person to wreck things or make me leave some place I enjoy being.

Bear left because he wanted to leave. Simple as that. He chose to leave for his own personal reasons, I am respecting that, as we all are. I will miss him too..I think the world of him, and he knows it. I hope that one day he will return and feel comfortable to do so..until then, I will continue to chat with him on Fet or on yahoo.

But to respond to this..each of us is responsible for our own decisions..and accountable for those decisions. I don't believe in placing blame on anyone else for mine or anyone elses decision to leave or stay here.

<Hugs> Red, I have missed talking to you!

Actually, I have missed talking to a number of you. But I have not been in a good enough head space to be on the forums. My choice.

<Big bear hugs to Bear>

<Hugs to everyone else!>

MoGa

_____________________________

Founder Of My Own IN-Crowd
Lady H's Biggest Fan
DIVA *Per Cali*
The Other Bossy One *Per Tulip*
Official Pimpette

Music Is The Universal Language. Let's Communicate!

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 87

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 5:50:26 PM

DarkFury

Posts: 264
Joined: 4/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

I know better than to do this but I have to say something. Pure I think you are so sweet and nice, you too DRH, but does everyone know both sides of the story? I am sure you do Red, but judging by pure's comment I don't think she might, please correct me if I am mistaken. * I am, a lot. I just think it sucks when the other person he is having this issue with is still on here and is a lovely person too, and it probably hurts them to read this and feel so hurt of left out by everyone that they assumed were their friends. I mean does everyone know for certain one is right and one is not? That could indeed be the case, I wasn't there obviously so I have no idea, but even though I have no doubt this thread was started with the best of intentions, two people are hurting not just one, and sometimes that fact gets lost, that's all.

I hope I didn't upset anyone, I just felt like one person is being villianized while another being exalted and without visual proof of what happened I guess I wouldn't be so quick to blame, that's all. Again, I didn't put this here to start anything, I just know that there are usually two sides to very story and the truth usually lies in the middle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

I hope whatever/whoever caused him to leave falls into a big vat of Raid and gets sick or worse.

Pure, can I just say that I think you're sick and twisted and that I find that extremely hawt.

Aynne......you have cmail.

~bear's cub~

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 88

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 5:52:47 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Dear MoGa,

I agree that we are all personally accountable for our actions and reactions. However, there are times in this life when the actions of another can make us so miserable or uncomfortable that we feel we have no other option at the time than to leave. It's the whole notion of "fight or flight" - some people just don't feel like exerting the energy and just need a time out.

Hugs,
Red

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to MoGa)

Post #: 89

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 5:53:12 PM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

i'm not trying to be a bitch here.... i am also not trying to be stupid. Unless i've missed some of the posts on here i don't know wtf people are referring to. And guess what? i don't give a rats ass.... Maybe it's because me cmail isn't working and my cell phone's been dead all day but i have no idea what the hell some of You are talking about. i feel like everyone is talking about some shit but, no one wants to just own up to it. Good. Great. Don't freaking care what happened. Don't want to freaking know what happened. i have no idea what the intention was behind the OP who created this thread creating it...i chose to post on here because i miss Bear. It's not some secret conspiracy to 'out' this other person....or 'run off ' this other unnamed person.
Kali
*edited to add* i'm a conspiracy believer as much as the next person in my woodshed with no window. But, i think the danger comes in when ascribing ill intent or bad motives when their are none.

< Message edited by Kalista07 -- 4/2/2009 5:56:59 PM >

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to DarkFury)

Post #: 90

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 5:59:22 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

*peeks into Kali's bunker*

(are you in the militia, too)

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 91

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 6:02:12 PM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

^
Red ^kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 92

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 6:02:28 PM

MoGa

Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/25/2008
From: Hellizona!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

Dear MoGa,

I agree that we are all personally accountable for our actions and reactions. However, there are times in this life when the actions of another can make us so miserable or uncomfortable that we feel we have no other option at the time than to leave. It's the whole notion of "fight or flight" - some people just don't feel like exerting the energy and just need a time out.

Hugs,
Red

I am hoping it is just a time out :) But I have to stand behind what I said. I love this place and one person damn near ruined it for me. He slaughtered me in a thread and I am still feeling the burn of that. But I happen to think that yall are worth coming back for. Maybe in time, our Bear will come back and this mess will be behind him and the other involved, who I happen to like just as much.

Huggies!

MoGa

_____________________________

Founder Of My Own IN-Crowd
Lady H's Biggest Fan
DIVA *Per Cali*
The Other Bossy One *Per Tulip*
Official Pimpette

Music Is The Universal Language. Let's Communicate!

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 93

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 6:04:54 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

^
Red ^kali

No, No, No... you got it all WRONG!!!!!

I am the Red One... You are the Blonde!!!

Therefore... the correct post is:

Kali --- Red

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 94

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 6:07:22 PM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

*sigh* Red....Red....Red....Red.....Red.

Of course You are right. You are the {EVIL} Red one...i am the {INNOCENT} blonde one.

Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 95

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 6:13:26 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

*FR*

Since many of us here aren't "in the know" the facts for us are pretty simple: we miss Bear.

But even if we knew every detail about the whys of his decision it would not alter the fact that we are missing him and we feel sad about that.

It is understandable that some people might want to blame someone or something for this.

We like our sorrows to have a context.

And sometimes we wish we could effect a remedy when someone we love is evidently in distress.

It seems to me that Bear did not go much for personal drama, and perhaps we could respect his apparent wish for peace and just be here to love and support one another in our collective missing of him

edit: to reflect that this was not directed at anyone in particular.

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 4/2/2009 6:18:07 PM >

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 96

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 6:14:32 PM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

Kali that is just it though, I absolutely *don't* think anyone is doing any of those things. Relax. I got a bunch of cmails telling me different sides to what happened and both people are hurting and no way am I dragging it out here either, But I do give a rat's ass I guess to the point of this unneccesarry anger when my post was said with genuine concern and kindness. Not to blame anyone for outing or running anyone off. May I gently suggest that you read my last post and really get what I was saying> I think they are both hurting and it sucks to miss a friend, I feel for you. You did not need to rip my head off. Especially when I was mature, calm and just reflective in my post. Is that so awful? I know you are upset for missing Bear and you should be you were close, but I did not say anything negative about either of the people involed and I would not, it is not my place and that behavior at a certain age just looks pathetic and mean. I have days like this too Kali, but please don't project it on me when all I was doing was trying to maybe make some kind of point regarding compassion. A good intention I thought.

I didn't ask to be privy to this in my cmail, anymore than you are unaware of it all I guess. What matters to you is you miss your dear friend and I'm sorry, that has to hurt. I hope you feel better and that you stay in touch with him/

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

i'm not trying to be a bitch here.... i am also not trying to be stupid. Unless i've missed some of the posts on here i don't know wtf people are referring to. And guess what? i don't give a rats ass.... Maybe it's because me cmail isn't working and my cell phone's been dead all day but i have no idea what the hell some of You are talking about. i feel like everyone is talking about some shit but, no one wants to just own up to it. Good. Great. Don't freaking care what happened. Don't want to freaking know what happened. i have no idea what the intention was behind the OP who created this thread creating it...i chose to post on here because i miss Bear. It's not some secret conspiracy to 'out' this other person....or 'run off ' this other unnamed person.
Kali
*edited to add* i'm a conspiracy believer as much as the next person in my woodshed with no window. But, i think the danger comes in when ascribing ill intent or bad motives when their are none.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 97

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 6:17:02 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline

Tell bear that it if was because of my crack about maple syrup, I'm sorry. Then give him a swat on the backside for me. I know he's been waiting for that.

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We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 98

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 6:17:21 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

*sigh* Red....Red....Red....Red.....Red.

Of course You are right. You are the {EVIL} Red one...i am the {INNOCENT} blonde one.

Kali

BEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Come back quickly! Kali's picking on me!!!!!!!!!!!

*chomp*...... Red eats Yellow... I win!!!!!!!

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 99

RE: Bear Hugs - 4/2/2009 6:21:27 PM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

*sigh* i've been eaten....damn...... Never thought it would feel like this....Wasn't at all what it was cracked up to be.

Aynne....It was not directed towards You.

Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 100

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