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manxcat -> RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. (4/5/2009 7:13:26 PM)
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Yes i do have a cutoff age. It is 36. Why? Because i am 53, and have lived in more different ways than most. I have had money and been poor, with women and men and poly. I cannot have children. Nor do i want to start raising them now. Not theirs nor them. I have gotten through most of my emotional baggage, and can work around the rest. I want someone who has lived through at least a quarter of my life as an adult, so that we have some common *history* to discuss. By the time someone is 36, they have decided pretty much what kind of student of life they are/will be - will they be involved totally or just superficially.
I have only read some of the responses, but Peon makes a good point. I have also been different people in my life, very different. But since about 36, mostly the same, although i like a quote i read by anonymous: "As we get older, we become neither better nor worse, simply more like ourselves." But one must decide who and what that self is, first. I want someone who has explored a variety of selves, so they are sure of who they want to be, and won't be changing that after we have settled into what i believe to be *the* relationship, and i am in love with him and it.
Another responder (sorry can't remember your name, but i can see you in that cat suit ;;-)).) said that too young can mean anything, and for me it sometimes does mean something else. I would rather not tell someone their mind does not match mine, or that i don't find them physically attractive. I feel it hurts less to say they are too young. Perhaps in light of this OP it does not, but i won't tell someone their English or lack of ability in it is why they are unsuited to me. I see no need to be unnecessarily cruel. Now necessarily cruel is something else entirely [:D].
manxcat
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I would rather be vilified for doing the right thing than be praised for doing the wrong thing.
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