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Danibelle -> First Timer (4/6/2009 4:23:44 PM)
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Hi there everyone!
For a few years now I've fantasized and thought about topping. It's something that's always generally interested me, but I've never desired it enough to really pursue it before.
My boyfriend recently let someone top him and now he's asked me if I would be interested. His exact request is that he'd like me to take a strap on to him. He's had things in his butt before so this is not a bizarre request from him.
I'll admit, the idea is intriguing and turns me on quite a bit. But at the same time, I'm rather terrified. I guess you could say one of my problems is a bit of performance anxiety. What if I'm absolutely horrible at it?
The truth is the thought of running a scene scares the daylight out of me. We've discussed a bit of a compromise. My boyfriend is definitely dominant and definitely both masochistic and sadistic. The compromise we've discussed is that he will come up with the activities and run the scene from the bottom. I know it's not his ideal. While we've discussed it, he's not thrilled. I then suggested that he simply tell me certain things he'd like to try, being as specific as possible, and that I will work them in or not as I see how things go. This works more for him and less for me as it brings me right back to what if I suck?
My two real questions after all my rambling on and on are:
1. Am I over thinking this?
2. Any advice for a first timer?
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