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PainfullyCurious -> RE: Unruely slave (11/3/2009 7:02:59 AM)
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Hmmm... If depression is ruled out there is one more thing to think about:
Issue 1:
Maybe you are still in control. Hear me out... Maybe she is acting out to get you to be dominant (like so many people have pointed out) but she's not doing it to test you. She's doing it to let you be you. To put you in a position to be a very strong and very assertive dominant. She's giving you the opportunity to be as harsh as you want to be.
For example, If you punished her a little for forgetting to vacuum the first time (or for something else) and she saw that you enjoyed punishing her, it's really you that she is pleasing by putting herself in these situations. She may not even realize why she's doing this. She just may be compelled to do so (and if you've kept her around this long, she may be on to something).
If you don't enjoy that aspect of bdsm, then it's not unlikely that she might have learned to please this way from someone else who did. Ask her about that. Ask her if she thinks you enjoy punishing her and watch her face very closely. (It may be common knowledge to you that she knows you enjoy giving out a little punishment, but the strength of her reaction should help you gage whether or not you are barking up the right tree.)
Issue 2:
If it's gotten to a point where it's jeopardizing your relationship and that makes you uncomfortable (as it probably should) call her out on it. She may not consciously realize that's a sign that things have gone way too far. Before you say that's ridiculous or call her stupid, remember how it easy it is for people to feel unappreciated in relationships. Some people threaten to walk for years before she actually do. Your sub may not see the situation as so-close-to-beyond-repair even if you've pointed it out. It just may not be her experience that someone saying they are really going to end things really means that you are going to end them.
(PS-I can't take credit for the idea that an unruly slave is being that way to please. I remember the concept from one of the books that Anne Rice wrote under a pen name in the Sleeping Beauty series. Basically it was explained that there was a slave that would always act out and get sent to the dungeons not because she refused to accept her master's authority, but because she had discovered that deep-down it pleased her master to know she was often being punished so severely. I think it was towards the end of the first book, or maybe in the second book of the series.)
It sounds like you may have a slave that's willing to take all the "abuse" you can dish out and then some. If that's what you're looking for, cherish it.
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