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RE: No idea Profiles?? - 8/17/2004 9:07:11 PM   
NightDaughter


Posts: 264
Joined: 1/23/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Well my profiles prity basic as far as I am concerned ... its long enough and contains the necessary info at the head end of the profile, that states I'm not looking etc, yet I still continue to get message from dominants who say they ready my profile, yet I know full well that they have not. Go figure

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NightDaughter
My Blog - http://www.livejournal.com/users/nightdaughter/
"I never said that I could spell, but I do try my darndest to get my point across" - ND

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 8/17/2004 11:58:18 PM   
Sundew02


Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		I will admit the number of emails I send out is very low compared to the number a sub/slave male send out. I have received several thank you, but no thank yous. To which I responded, I wish you the greatest of luck in your search. As I respond to the emails I receive with a polite refusal or encouragement if they peak my interest. The ones that bother me are when they send me an email fail to respond or just drift away. If they lose interest or find another, an email letting me know would be a polite thing to do. And yes I receive numerous emails everyday, but most are not looking for what I seek and is clearly posted in my comments section.
I am flattered that you think I could be such a male magnet that I wouldn't have to actively hunt. But as I post the unvarnished truth about myself, that just isn't the case. Stay safe and happy, Sundew

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~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 8/18/2004 7:33:02 AM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline 		Real Simple.. not taking the time to fill out a profile tells me they that a person isn't serious about finding a partner, either Domme or Sub. I can't fathom how someone can choose to submit, or choose a partner to dominate based solely on a photo. Furthermore, my time and I'm sure theres is too.. is too valueable to waste having countless getting to know the basic information conversations via chatting. A profile says.. here is the basics.. if your still interested then pick something from it and lets continue the conversation in more depth. USe the profile information as a springboard into getting to know you conversations.

Profile information should help weed out those with whom you know there is no compatibility. (yes I agree many don't take the time to read them).. however, that too speaks for itselfs and informs me that the person is NOT right for me, because they arn't useing all resources available to them to learn about what it is I seek, and vice versa.

just my .02

Ms. Eden

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 8/18/2004 12:02:01 PM   
courvoisier


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings A/all *warm smile*

Quite briefly ... a profile for me is akin to a first impression. And Y/you only get one chance at that.

Dream in color,

linda~

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 8/19/2004 5:23:31 AM   
SelfboundBottom


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/14/2004
Status: offline 		Speaking for myself, I don't rely on a profile to tell me about a person anymore than I rely on an advertisement to tell me about a product. In both cases I am only learning what the manufacturer wants me to know. It may be a lousy product; it may be a good person. Either way, do a little research before you invest anything.

I have been using this service for less than a week, but it took less than a day to make one thing clear: there are thousands of profiles on collarme; only dozens of regular users on the message boards. I have browsed the boards, and I have browsed the profiles. For getting a handle on a user's personality I stick to the boards.

The messages that subscribers post are a valuable resource for picking their brains. I can, but won't, name some users whose opinion I value. Some of them have already posted to this thread. They are all total strangers to me. My confidence in them came not from reading their profiles. It came from reading their words.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 8/19/2004 7:23:30 AM   
kiki blue


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SelfboundBottom
there are thousands of profiles on collarme; only dozens of regular users on the message boards.


I posted this elsewhere, but can't remember exactly where, but from my own experience (and yes, I did the hard maths myself) only about 5-6% of a list/boards membership will post at any given time. I think (from memory) about 2% of the board account for the bulk of the posts.

I'd hazard a guess that a lot of users don't look at the boards at all - I didn't for ages. I think there may also be a different group who use the chat rooms, that don't use the boards. Well, at least on the times that I've dropped in there

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Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to SelfboundBottom)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/9/2004 10:55:58 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		Still gotta love those no Idea Profiles~~

Sincerely, eyesofAslave




Attachment (1)

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/9/2004 11:46:44 PM   
compes


Posts: 92
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

My confidence in them came not from reading their profiles. It came from reading their words.


I agree with this completely. An advertisement is okay, I guess - it lets me know what you want me to know. But it takes me weeks or months to be comfortable in a friendship - there is no way I would jump into any sort of BDSM relationship without a lot of time invested first.

kiki blue - about the ratio of profiles to board members - I think these people are using a 'shotgun' approach. They'll sign onto as many sites as possible. They figure they can make up for quality by cranking out the quantity.

Compes

(in reply to SelfboundBottom)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/10/2004 12:58:15 AM   
Lorriss


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Destinysskeins

I have read your profile, I understand that you are not "ready" at this time and I want to sort of put MY two cents into it. HELLO, Sir Royal Poser (name changed to better suit the nature and protect the ignorant) , Dom here. I am a mature Dom Daddy and long time lifestyle Dom Master! currently in S.E. Florida. Prefer but Not necessarily committed to this area. I would like to send you MY profile. Based on your brief profile here, I am sure that you will find it interesting. Possibly, even provocative! .....and on and on this particular message goes.



Oh god.

The crowd which sends out form-letters are the worst, where you just know they saw the picture then cut'n'paste the premade generic letter. It does annoy me when it's pretty clear what I'm not looking for but everyday there are letters inside from the very demographic I already nixed. I swear I am going to put a line in my profile reading, "guys I have sewn up the pussy, no entry" and I'd still get mail reading "well we can just flip you over" which at least wouldn't be a form letter I suppose.

The arrogant ones bug me worse than the dim ones, who think it doesn't apply to them and that in one letter I'll see the magnificent light which surrounds them, fall to my knees and thank Jesus they came into my life. As a rule I like arrogant men, but it never translates in a note, even with a picture I haven't seen Johnny Depp with a cutlass yet.

(in reply to Destinysskeins)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/10/2004 1:01:36 AM   
Lorriss


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas

Well, it is obvious that you didn't know that SirRoyalPoser was on this site, or that he would be so benevolent and kind as to cast his Lordly gaze in your direction. If you had known, surely you wouldn't have put that "not looking for anyone" nonsense in your profile. You are a very lucky girl, by the way. Only those select few women who have an e-mail address, a profile on any kind of personals site, or some kind of instant messenger are contacted by SirRoyalPoser.


OHMIGAWD, how foolish of me, I'll go rush and get my hair done...and a boob job while I'm at it, he deserves the very best after all, out of all the women who have an email address he thought I was special enough for his attention?!??!?!!! Mom will be so proud that she raised a daughter with functioning sex-parts and a pulse.

(in reply to Leonidas)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/10/2004 8:35:25 PM   
lilninotchka


Posts: 121
Joined: 8/27/2004
Status: offline 		i would ask, at this point, that y'alls keep an open mind about those with blank profiles. i see many negative comments and guesses, but nothing that comes even close to the truth as to why my profile is blank. i can't, of course, speak for anyone else who may have a blank profile. Unless you ask, you don't actually know...if it bothers you, don't ask, just move on to the next.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/11/2004 10:31:58 AM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

Off on a tanget, perhaps, but you search for subs? Seriously? How often do you actually write one? How often do they say, "Thanks, but no thanks. Good luck in your search." instead of mentioning their surprise that a woman actually wrote them?


I used to send out notes to subs but I find it too discouraging. In my experience it's far more productive to just sift through the email from subs. One very nice and interesting sub came to me. We email back and forth a few times a week. We will meet when he gets to this area sometime before Christmas. I'm really looking forward to it.

When I wrote to subs they were looking for a professional Domme to serve them. Often they would not even acknowledge me with a polite reply once they found out I'm not McDomme. I very seldom send out notes now. Why go looking for rude and ignorant subs when pleny come right to my inbox on their own.

Also, some subs will grab a mile when you offer an inch. Twice I sent a "let's talk" email to a sub and he decided I was offering a lot more. Politely reminding them I'm not looking for a married man does not help. I suppose I should never have written at all. But I wanted to make contact with others who are local.

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Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/11/2004 10:40:18 AM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		If you have a blank profile I won't bother trying to use ESP to guess who you are. It's that simple.

Also, if your profile is intentionally left blank I begin to wonder why. Maybe you have something to hide. Which, for me, isn't a good start to any kind of relationship.

Anyway, as others have said, if you came here to meet people you would put the time into making some kind of profile.

< Message edited by Laura -- 9/11/2004 10:58:40 AM >

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Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to lilninotchka)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/11/2004 10:47:24 AM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Frick! Maybe I've just become intolerant of online BDSM (online BS). I went to the chat here once. It was horrible. I'd never go back.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiki blue
I'd hazard a guess that a lot of users don't look at the boards at all - I didn't for ages. I think there may also be a different group who use the chat rooms, that don't use the boards. Well, at least on the times that I've dropped in there


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Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to kiki blue)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/11/2004 2:47:01 PM   
lilninotchka


Posts: 121
Joined: 8/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Laura

If you have a blank profile I won't bother trying to use ESP to guess who you are. It's that simple.

Also, if your profile is intentionally left blank I begin to wonder why. Maybe you have something to hide. Which, for me, isn't a good start to any kind of relationship.

Anyway, as others have said, if you came here to meet people you would put the time into making some kind of profile.

And if you have your profile completely filled in, i won't bother trying to guess who you are either. lol Not that filling in a profile means that anybody knows anything about you - it could very well be nothing but lies. Maybe those who fill in their profiles are also hiding - hiding the truth, perhaps, behind a profile of lies... If you truly want to know why a profile is blank, perhaps you should consider asking for the truth of the matter before you assign whatever reasons you decide to attribute it to. Making guesses and assumptions with no attempt whatsoever at finding the truth of the matter is also no way to begin any sort of relationship, is it? If you are perfectly willing to make guesses and assumptions in one area, how likely is it that you will do the same in other areas? That, to me, is more of a 'red flag' than a blank profile will ever be.

A profile need not be filled in to meet someone. i have already met a number of intelligent, real people through here and other places online - all without a profile being filled out, so i know it is possible...and not even difficult.

Before anyone thinks or suggests that i may seem paranoid here - i'm not. i do not automatically think a profile is less than the truth. i wait for proof before i decide that. i am simply pointing out that someone who makes blanket statements about any certain type of person (ie blank profile=red flag, player, not serious, hiding something, whatever) is more than likely being very close-minded...and that statement is more than likely wrong in a percentage of instances.

(in reply to Laura)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/11/2004 3:54:05 PM   
midnitelace


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/11/2004
Status: offline 		Putting my two cents in, though i am just starting here. When i wrote my profile i didn't know what to say...it got too stressful so i made it just how i am...and figured if anyone messages me and wants to know more of my limits etc, then we can talk about it. Although being new to being submissive,,,i would have to know what "limits" mean LOL..sorry had to say it...I prefer someone talks to me directly then just go by what my profile says is what i'm saying. :)

(in reply to lilninotchka)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/11/2004 5:10:35 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Everyone makes guesses and assumptions about people. It's like reading between the lines in a book or choosing not to be naive.

I have sent notes to people without profiles. But, I don't really have that kind of time to put into meeting nameless, faceless, unknown quantities of people. I like having something to go on, a hint that the person I'm writing to will interest me. Also, I don't want to put more time into men looking for someone I'm not.

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Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to lilninotchka)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/11/2004 5:39:15 PM   
lilninotchka


Posts: 121
Joined: 8/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Laura

Everyone makes guesses and assumptions about people. It's like reading between the lines in a book or choosing not to be naive.

I have sent notes to people without profiles. But, I don't really have that kind of time to put into meeting nameless, faceless, unknown quantities of people. I like having something to go on, a hint that the person I'm writing to will interest me. Also, I don't want to put more time into men looking for someone I'm not.

'Everyone' doesn't do anything, including making guesses and assumptions about people they know nothing of. That doesn't mean they are naive either. It simply means that they are not going to paint everyone with the same brush.

i am not suggesting you do anything other than as you choose when you find a blank profile, i am simply suggesting that you think more carefully before blanketing all who have a blank profile with the same negative character traits. And i assure you, they are not nameless or faceless...they just didn't care to tell or show you for whatever reason...they are most definitely an 'unknown' to you. Is it really that wrong for someone to not tell you everything you might want to know in their profile? If you don't like it, simply leave it be - no need to go bashing/calling names/whatever on the boards, is there?

i see your post in 'ask a switch' about openmindedness - i would ask that you apply that elsewhere also...such as here. It is so easy to see it when it is against something you do or believe in...and sometimes so difficult to see when you do it to someone else. Would it be appropriate to say that people with more than a hundred posts talks too much? Or that people from Canada are not openminded? Of course not. It would not be any more true than the statement about blank profiles...and i would never even consider saying it.

Good luck in your search. :)

(in reply to Laura)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/11/2004 8:07:09 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

i am not suggesting you do anything other than as you choose when you find a blank profile, i am simply suggesting that you think more carefully before blanketing all who have a blank profile with the same negative character traits.

Your posts are all a bunch of pseudo-philosophical crap trying to defend your own choice to have a blank profile, ninotchka. Just like this snippet -- if Laura or anyone else wants to assume the worst about you and others with blank profiles, then why should they have to think more carefully about it? You made the choice to let them think whatever they want.

Oh sure, it's fun to act mysteroius and say "if you want to know more, just ask". But that just justifies your own laziness to say absolutely nothing at all, and puts the burden on others to make the effort to discover how fascinating you may be. So if you want to leave it blank, then that's fine. But don't start lecturing others for forming a negative opinion when you and the other "blank heads" can't be bothered to write even one word so folks might think anything else.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 9/11/2004 8:18:11 PM >

(in reply to lilninotchka)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: No idea Profiles?? - 9/11/2004 8:25:22 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

OHMIGAWD, how foolish of me, I'll go rush and get my hair done...and a boob job while I'm at it,


*tries to figure out how having a boob job would impact his longshore job*

I am probably the wrong person to ask, since I have been in cyberspace since the
1980s and subscribe to the theory that "It has been theorized that if you put a million monkeys and a million typewriters in a room, that they would eventually write Hamlet;
The Internet proves this is not true" postulate.

Sinergy

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"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 40
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