Concern over another memebr

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asprey -> Concern over another memebr (4/10/2009 5:04:13 AM)
How do we deal with profiles which cause concern? I have just seen someone asking for someone to do them real harm, after suffering a brereeavement for which they are blaming themself.

TheGorenSociety -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/10/2009 5:07:42 AM)
FREE WILL

barelynangel -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/10/2009 5:28:47 AM)
What causes you concern could cause another excitement. If you believe YOU have a right to interfere with what others are looking for, hell no one would have a profile on here for individual wantings and seekings are just that individual and you will always find people who agree, accept or disagree and don't accept about every profile you read. As long as its not violating the TOS, its none of your business, in my opinion. It basically comes down to your attempting to regulate what someone should or should not be seeking. If its not violating the TOS, then seriously, its none of your business if you can't accept or at least allow someone their own wants and needs. angel

chamberqueen -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/10/2009 2:17:55 PM)
You can always write to them and let them know that you are concerned. I have done this and found out that the person didn't mean to present themselves the way that they did and they made subsequent changes to their profile. There's nothing at all wrong in reaching out to someone you are concerned about. Just remember, they may not reach back.

Lockit -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/10/2009 4:13:07 PM)
You can report the profile from the homepage if you search for their nickname. There may be another way to do it, but this way I know. But you might want to know the rules before you report something that isn't against the rules.

ShaharThorne -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/10/2009 4:29:23 PM)
I just recently was contacted by a male who wanted me to use him as a ashtray. I went hard limits automatically and blocked him. I make fun of myself in my profile, but I refuse to perform harm to when there can be scars due to burning and infections. Besides, I am a non-smoker...I prefer to use a crop for punishment, not a lit cigarette. Maybe a small cane for the bottom of the feet...[;)] Shahar

Zechriel -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/11/2009 6:10:39 PM)
Good evening! I say if you really want to go down that road, then mail them and ask if everything is okay or do they need someone to talk to sometimes. It can turn out to be a big burden of being someone's crying towel or turn out to be a friend. Worse thing they can do is block you or you block them. Good luck! Love, Zechriel [sm=couple.gif]

allthatjaz -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/13/2009 2:10:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne I just recently was contacted by a male who wanted me to use him as a ashtray. I went hard limits automatically and blocked him. I make fun of myself in my profile, but I refuse to perform harm to when there can be scars due to burning and infections. Besides, I am a non-smoker...I prefer to use a crop for punishment, not a lit cigarette. Maybe a small cane for the bottom of the feet...[;)] Shahar Lol Lots of subs like to be used as ashtrays and I hear ya saying its a hard limit but I'm wondering what this has to do with the ops question which was about a mental issue

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/13/2009 2:29:58 AM)
I'd personally mind my own business. If I were to talk to every single person I "saw" something wrong with I wouldn't have time to live my life. It's their life..as long as they're "srangers" to me I'm going to continue minding my own business. If they came to ME asking for help then it'd be a whole another thing.

HeavansKeeper -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/13/2009 2:56:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheGorenSociety FREE WILL Without knowing the particulars, this does seem to be the controlling issue. Some people want really twisted things. Since their desire has been made public, you COULD write them, with your warning or complaint - but be very prepared for it to be ignored or reciprocated with unwarranted violent defensiveness. The only kinks in which CM really interferes are murder, real rape, bestiality, and involvement of minors. (Any that I'm missing?) If their interests do not fall under those categories, they are free to harm themselves. shrugs people are into weird WEIRD things. Ever hear of bugchasers? People who try to contract STDs.

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/13/2009 4:07:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper shrugs people are into weird WEIRD things. Ever hear of bugchasers? People who try to contract STDs. ARE YOU SERIOUS? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I hope this's catagorized as mental illness.

asprey -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/13/2009 4:51:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper Without knowing the particulars, this does seem to be the controlling issue. Do you often pass judgement on strangers "without knowing the particulars", or is this a special case?

allthatjaz -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/13/2009 5:17:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly quote: ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper shrugs people are into weird WEIRD things. Ever hear of bugchasers? People who try to contract STDs. ARE YOU SERIOUS? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I hope this's catagorized as mental illness. I have heard and read about this too. There is a club in the UK that you can't join if you don't have HIV. Its proved to be such a popular club that some people are prepared to be contaminated with the 'black seed' just to become a member!

GotSteel -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/13/2009 8:08:00 AM)
I'd also have to say this really depends on the details, what exactly is "real harm"? Someone saying they want a spanking because they have been a bad girl is very different than someone advertising that they want to be killed and eaten.

HeavansKeeper -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/13/2009 11:55:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: asprey quote: ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper Without knowing the particulars, this does seem to be the controlling issue. Do you often pass judgement on strangers "without knowing the particulars", or is this a special case? You must be new here [:D]. Yes. I judge people without all the facts, because I (humans) never have all the facts. Eventually we have to fill in missing spots with assumption. In this instance, you've provided a prompt which is very vague. Someone blames themselves for previous harm done to them, and wants it again. This can be quite innocuous or potentially fatal. I scaled my response to match. I believe the absurdity of the person "in danger" won't make a difference in their response. I hope I'm wrong.

pixidustpet -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/13/2009 4:03:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz I have heard and read about this too. There is a club in the UK that you can't join if you don't have HIV. Its proved to be such a popular club that some people are prepared to be contaminated with the 'black seed' just to become a member! while it sounds horrible, having a club for people who are HIV makes a lot of sense to me. that way, they dont have to worry so much about "what if the barrier method fails and i infect someone?" but the people who deliberately get infected to join? that's more than a bit nuts if you ask me. yes, the treatments are better now than in the beginning, but dayum! kitten

FangsNfeet -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/13/2009 8:06:41 PM)
I say to myself "What an idiot." and move on to the next profile. But later, something kicks in, and I'll say a prayer for the person before going to bed.

slavekahlan -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/14/2009 6:39:45 AM)
As has been said i would attempt to contact them to see if they would feel comfortable in communicating. From what you are saying that may be self destructive in a negative manner as a way of assauging their guilt. i would express your concern and let them take the ball and run it from there. i realize that each person is diverse in their desires especially in the M/s realm which should be respected. i also believe that all too often people are ignored as it would be too time consuming, they are not familiar, or the need to not be intrusive exists which i think is another manner of apathy. Yes i am a bleeding heart liberal, i have a soft heart and i care about living souls whether i "know" them or not. respectfully Master David's kahlan

ShaharThorne -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/14/2009 5:27:30 PM)
JAz, its the holding the cigarette to a person for over 90 seconds to cause a burn that I don't do. If someone wants burns like that, than I refuse to deal with it. I am quite willing to pee on them, paddle, spank, use a crop and smack the bottom of their feet, but the introduction of burns that can cause infection is my limitation. As for it possibly being a mental health issue, recommend they see their local pdoc or mental health facility. That is all we can do on this end and I am a mental health patient who dared to seek help without people being concerned over me (except my mother). Got to excuse me, but I am ODing on milk chocolate and am about to jump all over the living room. Shahar

kiyari -> RE: Concern over another memebr (4/15/2009 10:29:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chamberqueen You can always write to them and let them know that you are concerned. I have done this and found out that the person didn't mean to present themselves the way that they did and they made subsequent changes to their profile. There's nothing at all wrong in reaching out to someone you are concerned about. Just remember, they may not reach back. ---also--- quote: ORIGINAL: Zechriel Good evening! I say if you really want to go down that road, then mail them and ask if everything is okay or do they need someone to talk to sometimes. It can turn out to be a big burden of being someone's crying towel or turn out to be a friend. Worse thing they can do is block you or you block them. Good luck! Love, Zechriel [sm=couple.gif] Few in here will suggest reaching out to a post which reeks of pain. If you are moved to do so, be prepared to get involved in the minituae of another's situation. Who can say, what such an investment on your part may reap...

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