quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDelicia

Hi folks,

I need some feed back, desperately. I have been in the BDSM lifestyle for many years; since 1988. I've been trained in dominance and slave training. My fave thing is to train another to become their true essence as a slave. I am naturally a dominant person so I took to this life like duck to water.
I am also a married woman of 14 years. I love my husband. I introduced him into the life but he does not have the passion for it that I do. That's ok.

Recently, I met a gentleman (online). We clicked instantly. It's scary & upsetting, yet I am extremely attracted to him, and not because he is very good looking but because he comes from the same place I do, so to speak. He says things and I understand immediately. I speak, and he says I am reading his mind. Anyway, we do have some differences but they are refreshing and challenging. Here is my dilemma, I ALWAYS knew that I would meet my equal. In fact, my mentor kind of predicted it, although at the time I thought she was insane and brushed it off ,but deep down I knew she was right. This gentleman I am getting to know has elicited feelings in me that NO ONE has ever been able to produce. He respects my dominant nature and I his. He says he seeks a partner in this lifestyle; not a submissive or a "regular" wife but someone who one day he can kneel in front of and one who can kneel in front of him. (I get choked up just writing this). I am drawn to him like I haven't been drawn to ANYONE EVER. And the annoying part, I haven't even met him in person! You have to understand, I am a very logical, reasonable person; such feelings are not produced in me over the internet and especially so quickly. I feel compelled to offer myself to him as that which he seeks. And here's the kicker, I HAVE NEVER felt this need nor do I wish to extend this to any other man; only Him. In fact, the mere thought of offering myself to another in this fashion is repugnant to me. Has any other Top gone through something like this? Am I just nuts?

I sincerely wish your input. Thank you.

Delicia, Domina

P.S. And no, I'm not a switch!

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
You mention that you've never met this person in real life. For me this is very telling. I've seen the situation where online there is a sort of frenzy of emotion when you meet someone that "gets me". I think that too many times this turns out to just be the cream on top and when I go looking for the practical side of things: is this person who they say they are, are they financially stable, do they have the interpersonal skills to conduct themselves appropriately, and goddess forbid a criminal history, wife or unmentionables that they "forgot" to tell me about, these feelings go poof. Reality has a way of rudely waking us up.

As always your milage may vary but what I'm reading between the lines is a set up for a thread that reads I left my husband for Sir Domly Dom and he turned out to be a jerk.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

You can't always (nor should you) orchestrate, in its entirety, whom you "sparkle" for. Just be careful that you aren't in some sort of Domme frenzy.

quote:

Umm, just curious: what about the husband? I can't tell if the OP is more concerned about her possible switchy feelings, the fact that this has so far been an internet romance, or what she is going to do about her husband. Or all of the above??
Smythe

quote:

ORIGINAL: UtahGoddess


MsD,

There are several things you need to consider before questioning your power orientation.

First of all, will this budding relationship negatively impact your current 14 year relationship? What are your agreements and such about fidelity, play with others, etc? If the new relationship turns out to be all you imagined what will happen with your marriage? Is it worth the risk?

Next.....you have yet to meet this person face to face. Cyber based relationships can feel very real, but they are based in fantasy. No matter how "real" or honest both parties are....the gaps are filled in with our own imagination. In other words, we project into them the chracteristics we want...not necessarily what is really there.

Lastly....you have not yet met face to face. (Yes, I said it twice) Like it or not we are corporial beings. As corporial beings we have to deal with such things as physical chemistry, mutual attraction, etc. None of which can be guaranteed no matter what you may "feel" through non physical contact.

Many people have met and "fallen in love" online only to discover they feel nothing (or worse) when they meet in person.

Ms Sandi

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDelicia

I want to thank all of you. Thank you! I sincerely appreciate all your input. I knew the answer to the question before I posted the message. I merely needed to 'hear' it, so to speak, from others.
I know I have feelings for this other man. But I will not rush to conclusions. We still chat and phone, and now we are discussing meeting sometime in the future. As far as my husband, I love him. He will always be a part of me. I need to be certain. I need more answers, from myself and from the new gentleman. I will not make decisions now.

But again, thank you all. You have given me new angles to look at, reaffirmed certains feelings and provoked other ideas.

Sincerely,
Delicia, Domina

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe




Umm, just curious: what about the husband? I can't tell if the OP is more concerned about her possible switchy feelings, the fact that this has so far been an internet romance, or what she is going to do about her husband. Or all of the above??
Smythe