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RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/22/2009 10:39:55 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

What is your opinion?

I have no opinion. This is something that should be decided by you and your owner, no one else.
quote:

  What is the “code of conduct” for wearing collars?

There isn't one.
quote:

  What are some suggestions or ideas you have that could help me with this dilemma?

Dress up the collar with some jewelry. Or better yet, say to hell with what others may think and just wear it...if asked about it, just say it's jewelry. No big deal.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to subjulianna)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/22/2009 12:27:53 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		~fr~

I would find myself at immediate odds with any dominant who did not understand my need to live my life.  This situation would create a need for discussion wherein I would tell him of my desire to be collared to him, yet wear an outer symbol that is more appropriate and not interfering with this thing I have, called a life.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/22/2009 1:18:19 PM   
Koa


Posts: 328
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		A collar in public can be a problem. My slave works for a city, so i do not make her wear a collar while at work. In public I do how ever make her wear a silk ribbon which I tie about her neck and leave a little bow in the front.

Koa Bosk.

_____________________________

Lo Koa Bosk

...but to take truth for granted is not to know it. Truth not won is not possessed. We are not entitled to truths for which we have not fought.
(Marauders, p.7)

(in reply to subjulianna)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/23/2009 3:35:34 AM   
euroluv


Posts: 33
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		 i feel one can wear what one likes what and how i dress is my business wearing this doesnt make me less of a person or whatever its something i am proud of to wear . so screw the world and  do as you please

(in reply to subjulianna)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/23/2009 3:40:17 AM   
DotarSojat


Posts: 854
Joined: 3/22/2009
Status: offline 		I have a ring with a celtic weave. I gave a former sub a bracelet with the same weave on it. She loved the symbolism.

_____________________________

Make your life a work of art

I quit fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.

(in reply to novak)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/24/2009 11:03:01 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		i agree. if it were my situation i would have done something different, made arrangements ahead, etc,etc.


maybe the master in question doesnt realise his responsibility to the slaves well being in this issue. i am sure with the proper attitude and the proper approach the slave will find a way to please its master

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/25/2009 10:59:27 AM   
Interesdom


Posts: 197
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: euroluv
i feel one can wear what one likes what and how i dress is my business wearing this doesnt make me less of a person or whatever its something i am proud of to wear . so screw the world and  do as you please


I think that is much easier in Europe, especially in the more relaxed countries which are accepting of individuality and respectful of the right of self-expression.  Even in the UK, one could find that the censure (illegal or not) could be damaging to a career and even affect how social workers might view someone's worthiness to bring up their own children.

On the whole, however, I agree with you but each person has to make up their own mind just how much they will allow a repressive society to push them around.

(in reply to euroluv)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/25/2009 4:09:33 PM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		If you google collars, you'll see pages of collars that are very discrete as well as decorative, that might be an option. Or what about an anklet.

(in reply to subjulianna)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/25/2009 6:35:19 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Lemme jump in the play pen a minute here...

I'm sorry but if all your caring and respectful dom can come up with by way of a collar is literally a dog collar then either he's the numpty or your standards are much lower than you think.

And this is someone you want to commit yourself to as a slave? I mean let's face it, it's a pretty corny joke - dog collar, collar, slave, bitch but I for one would hope that you are committing yourself to much more than a corny joke.. or for that matter a cheap insult.

I mean, doesn't being a slave mean more to you than being a piece of totty he got off the Internet one day?

I mean, why not wear a length of rope? Wouldn't that be better? At least you could stick a bar of soap on the end to make it smell nice.

I personally feel that you've both got a bit of growing up still to do, and you both need to learn not just consideration for other people as a result of your actions but also something known as foresight. Foresight is basically learning how to anticipate the consequences of your actions and how they impact on other people.
[/size]

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also Facebook
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(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/25/2009 7:42:32 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		just how professional is your career at age 24? it sounds like this whole thing may have been ill planned.

(in reply to subjulianna)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/25/2009 7:49:19 PM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I would question the motives of any Dominant who could not visualize that wearing a dog collar could be detrimental to my future employment.  


I'd do more than that....I'd question his concept of what goes on in the real world. But I got lucky...I wear a simple necklace with a pendant that has significance for us when out in the everyday world and I also have a dog collar for use when He is here.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/25/2009 8:29:42 PM   
bluefireeyez


Posts: 119
Joined: 12/15/2008
Status: offline 		I am not getting the impression that she is a slave...hence why she said Dominant and not Master. So, your posts are not only a bit abrasive but also unwarranted. As a submissive she has a right to to add her own opinion and ask her Dom to meet her half way. Even if she was a slave, part of being a good Master is being willing to listen to the slave and give him/her what she needs.

Either way, not all relationships are the same and so I believe we should focus on helping her answer her question rather than tearing her down. Just my opinion. I think most people have been trying to do just that.

(in reply to masterlink65)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/26/2009 8:39:15 AM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		the OP doesnt sound like she is very professional. i would have had this crystal clear before any permanent plans were made. either way it is something the sub should take up with the dom and not air the dirty laundry on here.


if a sub being collared doesnt make it a slave, then you must be talking about those velcro collars or those party collars. in that case it shouldnt be too hard to remove it. to me a collar means ownership. they make friendship bracelets for other such commitments 

(in reply to bluefireeyez)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/27/2009 2:33:43 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Here is a website with some really good inexpensive day collar ideas to wear to work or at family functions etc. She makes chokers out of suede, lace, velvet and such.

www.velvetchokers.com

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to masterlink65)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/28/2009 8:07:34 AM   
Rainfire


Posts: 4047
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterlink65

the OP doesnt sound like she is very professional. i would have had this crystal clear before any permanent plans were made. either way it is something the sub should take up with the dom and not air the dirty laundry on here.


if a sub being collared doesnt make it a slave, then you must be talking about those velcro collars or those party collars. in that case it shouldnt be too hard to remove it. to me a collar means ownership. they make friendship bracelets for other such commitments


No, one can be a happily owned and collared sub without being a slave. Maybe you only have slaves but that is your choice and not the law and rule of BDSM. I am most happily owned and collared and wear a black leather dog collar every day (including to the wedding itself) yet am submissive to Lumus, not slave. Perhaps to some there might not be much of a difference since we're 24/7 but there is.

OP, my first collar was a sterling silver chain with a heart pendant and then we switched to the dog collar. I'm fortunate that I don't work outside the home at this time but in the past, I've used something like a simple gold chain as a collar during work. It's the symbolism and emotion that matters, not appearance. We're in an area where my collar might raise some eyebrows but not cause problems. When asked, I just calmly explain that it's something special that Lumus gave me. Most people accept without a lot of questions when I tell them it was a gift from my now-Husband.

Just talk calmly to your dominant and let him know your concerns. Give options rather than ultimatums. A collar is a sign of ownership so it can be whatever you two decide. A necklace, anklet, bracelet, ring, tattoo (if you do that), whatever is chosen.

Good luck and best wishes.


_____________________________

"I have sold my soul to the devil for You, will You still love me when I am soiled, stained and souless in my love for You?
Or is this the beginning of the end?"
Proud member of the Clan Scarlett O'Hair

(in reply to masterlink65)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/28/2009 8:40:55 AM   
euroluv


Posts: 33
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		 i think where one comes from don't matter  it's the more you think it is a problem the more it becomes a problem in my vision  but hey who am i  i wear a collar 24/7 an tell people it's just a necklace i like and no further questions are asked .

(in reply to Interesdom)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/28/2009 9:24:10 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: euroluv

i feel one can wear what one likes what and how i dress is my business wearing this doesnt make me less of a person or whatever its something i am proud of to wear . so screw the world and  do as you please


This is nice in theory, but in the real world we atleast need to give the appearance of conformity, espeically if you are in a profession where people need to connect with you and trust you.

Ever notice those kids in highschool that were always fighting the system? Remember how far they got? Basically no where.

The best way to succeed is to work with in the system not against it.

Would you trust child Psychologist with your child if they had a big tattoo across their chest that said "I'm into age play, let me be your daddy?"

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to euroluv)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/28/2009 8:00:56 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: euroluv

i feel one can wear what one likes what and how i dress is my business wearing this doesnt make me less of a person or whatever its something i am proud of to wear . so screw the world and  do as you please
Screwing the world can leave you without a roof over your head and food in your fridge. I guess your advice works if you want to spend the rest of your life asking "Do you want fries with that?" However, when it involves getting an education and having a career, you have to make some compromises to get what you want.



_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to euroluv)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/29/2009 4:21:19 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		http://www.bondagecollars.com/sdcc.htm
http://www.bondagecollars.com/silver%20chains.htm

When MasterK and I were discussing collars, he and I knew that I would need one that would be discreet. One that I could wear at work, etc. without most strangers recognizing what it is. This is the site we chose his collar from, and I love it. People who have commented on it have just said "nice necklace". But I know the significance of it.

< Message edited by whiteslavebitch -- 4/29/2009 4:38:37 PM >

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to kallisto)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Wearing my collar in public - 4/29/2009 4:30:19 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I mean, why not wear a length of rope? Wouldn't that be better? At least you could stick a bar of soap on the end to make it smell nice.


OMG, it's a lucky thing I wasn't drinking coffee right then when I read this. 


_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 60
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