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RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/20/2009 10:18:07 PM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Never heard of a Dominant submitting to another Dominant at a party, or anywhere else. I have heard of a Dominant that has a house rule, that all submissives that show up at his play party, he will have his way with them. Not many show up for his party, lol.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/21/2009 5:06:49 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		slave, I think that you need to remember that your Master is human.  He has admitted to you that he made a mistake.  Face it - we all make a mistake no matter our role.  Masters are not exempt from this.

It is up to HIM, not to you, to decide whether he should make a public apology.  The fact is that he made a choice on how the slave was to be used.  While the slave may have been disappointed that he did not get more intercourse if all agreed to follow your Master's commands then nothing was done wrong.  It does not diminish that slave.  The slave did as commanded and should find pleasure in that.

I am very sorry that this has shaken you up, but unless it becomes a pattern that he acts in a way that embarrasses and disappoints you then I see no catastrophe here.  You need to make no apologies for him.  If someone asks you specifically about what happened you can share with them that your Master has apologized for it but it is not your job to make everything right within the group unless he appoints you to do so.  If there is someone else fairly influential within your group you may choose to speak to him privately and let him know that your Master has apologized and that you feel badly that so few have chosen to stay in contact with your Master but I wouldn't take it any further than that.

Are you really considering walking away because you feel that your Master made one social error?  That he had the right to command?  And has apologized for?  It makes me wonder if there aren't other underlying problems.


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RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/21/2009 5:10:18 AM   
marysdream


Posts: 126
Joined: 5/31/2008
Status: offline 		wow! glad i wasn't at your party..lol...it simply amazes me how subs males and females alike..will put aside any thoughts or feelings of safety...and integrity..for an erotic experience!
ree 

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/21/2009 5:16:29 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marysdream

it simply amazes me how subs males and females alike..will put aside any thoughts or feelings of safety...and integrity..for an erotic experience!

hrmpf do not link it to subs only and don't generalize will you.


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RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/21/2009 5:49:03 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I would have very little respect for anyone who would organize a party for no reason but using and ordering about people he claimed to call friends. Friends don't treat each other in this way.

And I'm curious if he really explained the rules when he called to invite them. "Hey Joe, I'm having a play party this Friday. But expect me to use and humiliate you and treat you and every one else as my slave". I doubt he was that upfront with them.

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RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/21/2009 5:56:58 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

And I'm curious if he really explained the rules when he called to invite them. "Hey Joe, I'm having a play party this Friday. But expect me to use and humiliate you and treat you and every one else as my slave". I doubt he was that upfront with them.
what surprises me is Joe's compliance 

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RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/21/2009 6:24:11 AM   
slave2train4pain


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/21/2009
Status: offline 		Actually it was 1 slave and 2 Master's who were not unsafe but untrustworthy.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/21/2009 6:27:08 AM   
slave2train4pain


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/21/2009
Status: offline 		Actually he does just that and usually the only ones with problems are first timers and he is gracious and reminds them privately of the rules.  I am not defending him on this.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/21/2009 6:47:54 AM   
slave2train4pain


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/21/2009
Status: offline 		Mistress, I agree it is not my place to decide if a public apology is in order that was my opinion.  I am familiar with most of the Masters that were there and they asked me a direct question regarding my Master.  I gave them the only answer I had, or would give them with out permission, Is anything wrong with your Master? IMHV the slave did as he was told then the Master who was to use him by actions and my Master's approval with his actions made it look like he was unworthy of being used.  He was in position in front of the entire group watching and hearing the Master get off with the help of the Master who organized the party while not other orders were given.  I have never read your profile but if you were a Mistress waiting to use a slave and the slave stated they did not want you would you not be in the least bothered?  To me I felt the slave was treated poorly, as did his Master think so.  I would not dare contact another Master that is a good friend without permission and I am not sure I would get it.  Because of the ules of the party I am not saying my Master did not have the right to do as he wish.  I am considering leaving his service because of loss of faith in his ability to control and worst still my lack of trust that he willl keep me and others safe in play.  IMHO Masters can change thier mind but not change the rules without notice since he is tusted to keep me safe.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/21/2009 8:32:34 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		i have no problems following instructions from a DM. other than that i think it is disrespectful and rude for a dom/master to think they are capable of dominating everyone, its bad enough when one thinks they can give orders to someone elses slave, but then to think another dom should submit as well.

i do however understand, his house, his rules. my opinion, if he wants to make an ass out of himself in front of others,and others will submit to this behavior,,,,, well then ,,, all i can say is,,,,, you all made your choice in the matter. you next choice is,,, do you continue this?!

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/22/2009 3:32:34 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slave2train4pain

Although I am gay this question has nothing to do with sex and could have been posted in the Mistress board as well.  My Master is very controlling when he has play groups.  Everyone even Masters  submit to him and he controls who does what to who and when no exceptions.  At times this has interrupted other Master's  at a critical point in an act but they understand it and obey as a slave.  Sunday night Master invited a friend of his for group and to stay the night.  This part time slave, he is married and only plays with my Master and his groups.  During this group he kept straying out of the boundaries set by Master, I am not disputing Master's right to allow this, and he upset several of the regular Master and slaves myself included by rude pushy greedy behavior.  The final act was a Dom who had submitted before arrived late and his actions were as bad or worse then the slaves was.  If I am right or wrong I was embarrassed by my Master's actions and to be his slave.  This last arrival was ordered to fuck another slave by my Master.  This Dom started to and lost his erection, hey most of us of been there, proceeded to get sucked by the greedy over night guest and with my Master's help he shot on his face.  The look on Master's and slaves faces that I have played with were of shock as was mine.  I felt very sorry for the slave who was humiliated that a Dom would, in my mind do as he wanted and basically said your not good enough to be used.  That ended the group quickly/  I took the slave to clean up and comfort him.  I has Master's asking me what was going on and I had no answer's.  At this point I got my Master in another room and informed him of the general feelings and his answer was that neither the slave or the Dom did anything wrong.  I explained that I was passing on information from other Master's who are very good friends outside of play and asked to speak freely.  I told him basically what I have posted here and he denied it.  This morning after our guest left he admitted that he "may of made a mistake".  As of now none of his friend's who are Master's will answer an email aor return a phone call other then to cancle their invations to his next 4 groups.  I have talked to the slave of a few and thier Masters really don't know how to respond and don't want to be rash.  I am sorry it has been so lenghtly but I am having serious doubts about serving him.  He was not impaired in any way and since the other Master's are each deciding thier reaction he has told me he may have made an error and apologized to me for making an error but also said the 2 offenders would be allowed back.  Where do we all go from here?

Crikey, that was a tough read, even after I copy/pasted it to Notepad and made my own paragraphs...  lol
 
But I'm still confused; all these *Masters* submitting, deferring, towing the line and imitating wall flowers when someone needs to make a stand!?!  So I'm thinking it's a cultural thing this Aussie just doesn't grasp - that "Master" means something altogether different in your social circle? 
 
Or perhaps the evening was retro nineties where everyone could be anything they want, even when they weren't, and all the subs came dressed in Masters' "costume"....?
 
Or maybe your Master is the only true Master in town; or state .....or country?  Anyway, I do wish all the other Masters well when (if) they eventually decide what their reaction should be - assuming invertebrate/neutered/pretend Masters are capable of more than further procrastination....
 
Errrrm...., ick!
 
Focus.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/22/2009 5:22:02 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		The way i read the OP, there was a breach in protocol at a group play party, and the "rude" slave sucked off a "Master" until he came - instead of fucking the "innocent" slave.   And this embarassed you because your master allowed it.

IMHO, if your master is embarassed enough to apologise to you, then he is self-aware enough to not make the same mistake again. I'd give him another chance.  But you might also discuss with him the fact that his faux-pas caused you to question wheither or not he is worthy of your devotion. Obviously for you this was a serious issue, and he needs to know how serious.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/22/2009 6:06:12 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		I could not submit to another dominant's wishes, sexually I don't think. I'm about 99.9% sure that part of my life is over- that my slave days are done. Never say never, but I just don't see it happening with me, or most other doms. The minute he started dictating to me how I should act, I'd leave and that would be it. I wouldn't look back. So its kind of a mystery to me, how your dom even cultivated that arrangement with the other doms, to begin with.

My twenty bucks says they all start getting together somewhere else, where they can do what they want.

If I were you I'd have serious doubts about serving him, too. He sounds like a domineering jerk.

(Edited after reading the first page)

If I knew in advance he would be directing the action and getting off on interrupting the scenes, I would decline the invitation every time.
Those doms switched, for him. Nothing wrong with switching, but the arrangement clearly isn't working for them any more, and they have moved on.

How will you move forward? Only you can answer that. Good luck.

< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 4/22/2009 6:26:49 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/22/2009 7:36:53 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		You know, I've read through this thread a couple of times.  I have to somewhat wonder if the Master in this scenario gets away with doing these kinds of things because some of the folks attending aren't necessarily 'out' and it might be the only place the guests can do the activities that they enjoy.  Some people will tolerate a lot in that kind of situation.

Personally, I'm not one of them.  I'm more the pick up My toys and go home type.


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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Embareesed by MAster - 4/23/2009 3:00:22 PM   
SirMoi


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/9/2004
Status: offline 		OP....you've posted this identical question on other bdsm website message boards and got nearly identical answers. How many times do you need to hear the same opinions from dozens of people before you have your answer?

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Profile   Post #: 35
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